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Thread: Hot Zone 4: The Southwest Recap

  1. #1

    Hot Zone 4: The Southwest Recap

    Welcome back to ARE YOU HOT! Our favorite host, JD Roberto introduces our judges, once again. The lovely Rachel Hunter, the smoldering Randolph Duke, and the heart-throbbing Lorenzo Lamas are back again to choose the sexiest people in America. Our finalists from zone three are announced, Shipley, Tony, Amber, and Renee are moving on to the finals. The top 32 finalists are then put on parade, and the top 16 are named.

    Brandy- Rachel says she has amazing sex appeal and itís nice to see someone not stick thin, and I wholeheartedly agree! Randolph asks about the chest, she proudly declares it is all real. Lorenzo says if he was stranded on a desert isle all heíd need is her!

    Jayson- Lorenzo tells him the comedy club is down the street, and that he just wants to look at Jayson and laugh. Then he compliments him on his interesting face, and asks him about his body. Rachel asks him to take off his necklace and tells him its distracting from his face. Then she tells him that it sometimes seems like heís been smoking.

    Alana- Randolph asks her to turn around, and he says she doesnít have a lot of charisma. Rachel says she has a beautiful face, notes she tries to detract from her high forehead with her bangs, and says she has a cute, clean, fresh and approachable look. Lorenzo says that she will grow up to be one hot woman, says she has a naturally soft and beautiful body.

    David- Randolph says he is great-looking, really strong look, he likes the shaved head, and he has a great smile. Randolph then asks him to turn around, and we get a close-up of a small patch of hair right above the swim trunks, aka a treasure trail. I think it's sexy, and so does Rachel, who gives him 10/10/10, and is shown licking her lips!

    Brooke- Randolph says she has a great face but she needs to stop plucking so much off her brows as it detracts from her beautiful eyes and comments that her body is so thin, it is just like a ballerinas. . Rachel says she gets a really innocent and naÔve vibe and that she should learn to ďuseĒ her body. Lorenzo says Brooke is like a delicate flower, but that isnít a sexy thing, that she has a gorgeous and flawless face but should have worn a different bathing suit.

    Andrť- Randolph says he is too thick in the brow area and his dreads only emphasize that. Rachel agrees, and says it covers his great bone structure. Lorenzo says his eyes are the best, he has a weak chin but a great smile, that he has an all natural body, and then asks him why he thinks heís here.

    Rachel- Rachel Hunter complains that the way she stands, swayed back, makes her look like a peacock, but then tells her she has an awesome hourglass figure and knows how to use it. Randolph says she will only get sexier, that she has an outrageous body. Lorenzo tries to guess her measurements and then claims thatís the combination to his heart.

    Domenic- Lorenzo concentrates on the pierced nipple, he wonders if it gets caught in cable-knot sweaters. He says Domenic has a good, strong face and looks great, but not overdone. Rachel giggles like a schoolgirl, says he has unbelievable eyes. Randolph says that he has the Tom Cruise/movie star thing going.

    Jessica- Rachel finds her mole distracting and says she has a lovely body. Randolph asks her to pull up the side strings to her bikini so itís more flattering. Lorenzo says he loves her face, mole and all, asks her to turn around and says she is sweet and sensual.

    Anton- Lorenzo says he has a good strong face and jaw line and great eyes, a tight and compact body. Rachel says he is borderline Fabio. Randolph nails it when he says Anton belongs in a Bond film.

    Sharee- Randolph says she has amazing cat eyes and great legs. Rachel says she is immediately drawn to her face and especially the eyes. Lorenzo says she is very smoky and sensual and he loves her adorable thin hips.

    Dylan- Randolph jumps in that he was born cocky. Randolph lectures that people will be jealous of his looks so heís got to just cool it. Rachel says his lips are small but sexy, and that she likes his confidence. Lorenzo also likes his energy and confidence.

    Crystal- Rachel asks her to take her hair down because it is beautiful. Randolph says she is spectacular, her face, lips, and smile are great and he loves the hourglass figure. Lorenzo says she is his African queen.

    Jimmy- Randolph makes some jokes about Jimmyís height, but compliments him on his fabulously sculpted face, his bright blue eyes, and his tall and proportioned body. Lorenzo says he is great and fantastic.

    Mary- Randolph asks her to pull her hair back and complains her knees are thick. Rachel says her eyebrows are over-plucked. Lorenzo says she is beautiful and gorgeous and likes her tasteful jewelry. He also says she is short-waisted and her thighs are a bit thick.

    Finally, Cheval- Lorenzo says he has a nice face and a great body. Rachel says his teeth are a bit buck but that she is being a bit picky.

    At long last, the male advancers are David, Jimmy, Dylan, and Domenic. The females are Crystal, Brandy, Sharee, and Rachel.
    Then we learn there will be no online voting. Awww, now I don't get to purposely not vote. Bummer. David, Jimmy, Crystal, and Rachel are advancing. Until next week, may your knees not be thick, and may you always have a treasure trail.

    Last edited by John; 03-16-2003 at 08:26 AM.

  2. #2

    Somewhere out there a Lamas is on the loose!

    My hat's off to you for tackling this most unsavory of shows!

    Can there be any judges in real courts or Reality TV courts more odious than these three people, particularly Lorenzo Lamas, whose wife even saw fit to bat him around a bit.

    I watched this show twice. I am still flagellating myself for doing it the second time and I found absolutely NO redeeming social values in "AYH?"

    No humor, no fun, no nuttin'

  3. #3
    Well, I for one, am sad to see the demise of "Are You Hot." It had such great promise. The fact is, all heterosexual men love looking at hot women with bikinis on. If you don't, you are either in denial, or perhaps prefer watching the men. Nothing wrong with that - there's something for everyone, right? So what could be a better premise for a show? Unfortunately, it was ruined by a bunch of hare-brained judges, who seem to give ratings based on random neurons firing in their pretty little heads. Seriously, don't fault the format - after all, Miss America has been going strong since, what, 1776? And come on! - don't feel sorry for the crying losers! They knew what they were getting into - if you don't like being critiqued, you have no place on a show like that.

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