proseification of the play script. (I might have made up the word “proseification”. If so, it’s a damn sight more original than whoever was listed on my copy of “My Fair Lady” as the author.)
I mean, it’s all a lie! Does the rain in Spain even fall mainly in the plain? I
doubt it.
I only know the youngest’s name, because it’s Lucy. Heh.
Hot Fast-Food Action in a Vegetarian Military Church
She spots a family photo and freaks out at the number of children and the complete absence of meat or cheesy poofs in the family diet.
I don’t know how she’d know this, as her own teenagers are little automatons who probably have to do penance if they let an article of clothing touch the floor, but whatever.
Evidently Cindy’s routine includes forcing poor Steve to give her foot massages, and I think we can all agree that Steve has earned his way into heaven just through that sacrifice alone. Cindy just seems like she’d have nasty feet.
“a military church with a bunch of vegetarians in it.” Whoa, that sounds fun. Sign me UP. Not.
Just Writing This Section Took Twenty Minutes
Mario to bounce off walls properly on a friend’s Nintendo 64 (and I know THAT dates me).
“You Canna Toucha Da Mango!”
Paul just *looks* lactose intolerant.
His decision is made for him when Cindy, off-camera, yells “THROW IT AWAY!” Ah, what a sweet and pleasant woman that Cindy is.
The Moment When Paul Realizes He Has No Control Lighten Up, They’re Just Cheesy Poofs
Paul looks like he’s swallowed a falafel,
I’m thinking by week’s end, we’re going to find Paul curled up in the bottom of the laundry hamper, sucking his thumb and just whimpering.
She’s set out bowls of chips everywhere, and the kids dive in, stuffing their faces full of the glorious trans-fats.
Look! People With Different DNA! This SECTION is NOT to be SKIPPED
Steve, honey, “flexibility” is NOT in Melissa’s vocabulary. Melissa says he’s undermining her authority, and tells us she wants to slap him.
Oh, poor, poor, unbendable Paul.
It Was Pure Hell For Us, Too, Cindy