You can read them in details at:
You can read them in details at:
Originally Posted by Nghe
ROFL Thanks for sharing this! I'm amused by a lot of this, and not through it all, but as of now I must say that THIS is my favorite "SAY WHAT" paragraph!!!!!! ROFL I would pay MONEY to see an interview with Amy's mother!!!!!!!! ROFL
"How much time do you need to get you and your family ready in the morning?-
I am asleep while Jeff and Emily get ready weekday mornings. My mom calls Jeff and wakes him up in the morning and talks to him until he gets out of bed. If she doesn't do this, we run the risk of him not waking up, and this cannot happen because Emily has already been later for school 33 times this year. We have been called into a meeting with Principal about this, so he must get out of bed on time."
Found another GEM -
"What time do you go to bed?-
Jeff and I are real night owls. We don't get to bed until late, usually between 1am and 3am. Jeff and I stay up surfing the net together; we have two computers side by side so we can go on-line at the same time. If we're not doing that then we're up having sex… we have a lot of sex."
So are you thinking what I'm thinking?????????????
Now.... follow along with me here......
"Do the kids have set bedtimes and if you have teens, do they have curfews?-
It's an amazing struggle to get Emily to bed by 8:30pm. Getting her to bed on time rarely happens, it's such an ordeal! She should be in bed by 10:30pm on weekends."
Well....... ok....... perhaps if there was an ounce of discipline in the house, but I digress.........
"Do you have a routine with bedtimes etc. for the children?-
Getting Emily ready for bed is quite a big ordeal and is time consuming. If you don't get started by 8:15pm, you'll never get finished! I guess she hates going to bed because she's afraid she's going to miss out on something."
There are just sooooooooooooo many things wrong with this.... let's see.... I guess I'll start with that Amy can't call getting the child to bed on time (8:30) an "ordeal" when she then says she starts her bath at 8:15-8:30...
And just because this is all wayyyyyy too funny........
"Sooo…I will run a bath for Emily between 8pm and 8:30pm and ask her between 5 and 15 times to please get in the bathtub. I have to be very specific: "I want you to take off your clothes, get into the water, use soap, wash your body, wash and condition your hair, wash your behind thoroughly, get out, dry off, put on your pajamas, take out your contact lenses, brush you teeth, make sure you take your medication, come here and let me comb your hair (This is, to her, the END of the world. She acts as though she's literally going through labor and delivery when she's having her hair combed), and get into your bed. Now." These instructions could take up two hours and may need to be repeated several times before she actually has accomplished ........... blablablabla"
I can see who the adult is, or thinks she is. I want to see "where are they now?" when the brat turns 18.... would be entertaining.......
I cant TAKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!! ROFL
How much pocket money do the children receive per week? Are there conditions?
My mother sends Emily $50 per month and that belongs to her regardless of whether we're broke or not. Emily recently took us out for a meal with her own money. It cost $15, and I have arranged to pay her back. We don't give her any additional money because she has that money from her grandmother.
How much do you each spend on treats/vices per week?
I spend $50 on smoking per week. On coffee, I spend $5 per week; we hooked! I spend $15 on coffee creamer (fat free French vanilla); we're hooked on that too. I think it's safe to say that we're obsessed with fat free French vanilla.
By far this was the best reality show episode, ever!
I actually want to have an avatar of Amy bawling underneath the deer head. If anyone can find that, I'd be eternally grateful!
I couldn't live in EITHER homes, both families were too whacked for my taste.
All things beautiful do not have to be full of color to be noticed; in
life that which is unnoticed has the most power.
Yeah, not on Sunday nights, Emily HAD to go to bed EARLY, PROMPTLY, and WITHOUT ANY FUSS because ... (drum roll, please!!)Originally Posted by LATAS
Emily MUST be in bed by 8:45pm because Sunday night is our major TV night. Jeff and I sit in front of the TV and watch all our favorite programs.
They finally got their priority straight !! Yipee !
Hmmm......I wonder where dear little Emily learned to be so over-dramatic.....Originally Posted by LATAS
Thanks for all those quotes LATAS!
"I'm telling you - it's a madhouse out there. I feel like Charlton Heston waking up in the field and seeing the chimp on top of the pony." ~ Dennis Miller
here's a few that struck me rather amusing from amy's manual:
the cat is praised for killing but humans can't? oh wait .... the cat is an animal. ----- but so are humans!"...Kate (the cat in the garage) needs at least 20 minutes of petting per day. I keep her food and water bowl full at all times. I don't worry about the litter box. If she brings me a gift (like a mutilated animal that she's killed), I praise her, and I thank her. If she is in the process of killing an animal for me, I never interfere. I wait until she's finished and then thank her and praise her with affection."
um ... she's finicky because you LET HER BE. when my kids were little, they ate what i cooked and if they didn't like it, they went hungry. you can be assured they ate dinner the next evening."...Emily, on the other hand is a little more finicky. She won't eat spinach. Different foods on her plate MUST NOT touch. Her tomatoes have to be cubed."
the other moms aren't friendly towards her? go figure."...The other mothers love Jeff; they don't like me very much. They're always like: 'Jeff, you're such a good husband. Jeff, Amy's so lucky'. The other moms aren't very friendly toward me so I prefer to let him go alone. Honestly, I just don't have anything in common with those women. Most of them bore me to death. I truly like two of them very much - but sometimes, it's not worth going just for the two Moms that I really get along with. Jeff hates going as well - most of the time, he spends the entire meeting talking on the phone to me....
if you don't BUY the junk food, she won't be able to EAT the junk food!"...I look after her eating habits (making sure she is not eating too much junk food). "
like mother like daughter, i guess"...Emily has a tendency to throw fits..."
there's so much more in there that was just plain ..... AMUSING.
Last edited by barefootdyke; 10-08-2004 at 08:40 PM.
Okay, if not killed, Glenn sure wanted to mount something!Originally Posted by Qboots
I've had dogs in less heat for a bitch than he was for Amy!
Still crazy, after all these shears
"lambikins, put the crack pipe down and back away from the keyboard." Unklescott
"lambikins... I have come to the conclusion that you are the Jedi Master of the Kitchen on FORT!" SuperBrat