The Voice 6/14 Recap: Someone’s Hand is on the Bleeper

As you all recall, last week Christina’s team and Blake’s team were up; I can’t really say they faced off, but they at least saw what the other team was brinigng. Cee Lo’s and Adam’s teams watched in the audience and figured out what they had to do for their week. Will going second be an advantage? Who knows, so let’s find out.

Cutting Down on Product

The results are in for Christina’s team; they stand on the stage, all glammed up in their own ways. Christina is very emotional—she loves them all so, so much. Carson reveals that the voting populace saved Beverly McClellan, which is a bit of a shock. Or maybe a whole lot of people really hated Jersey Girl. Christina says this quite possibly could be the hardest decision of her life. Hyperbole much? She compliments each of the other ladies on her team and stalls a bit more, but ultimately goes with Frenchie and her super-star voice. So Team Christina can also be Team Bald, which is where Christina probably will be soon, given the bleach and weave she’s using. Seriously, Xtina, you are beautiful in every single way, so don’t let the bleach shouldn’t bring you down.

Singing Like They Know It

And on with the show…Team Blake won’t know who goes home until the end of the show. Cee Lo’s Tori and Taylor Thompson are up first singing “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy” first made famous by the Andrews Sisters in 1941. In rehearsal, it’s clear they are not familiar with the song and yet they still have to work in choreography. On stage, the back-up dancers return in faux military garb, which in this instance, is a welcome distraction for the anemic vocal performance. This was the wrong song for these girls. Adam confesses he pushed Cee Lo to do the song. Saboteur! Blake liked it okay and Christina likens it to her “Candyman” video (which is a far cry from the Siouxsie song by the same name, though both are in the iPod). Cee Lo is proud and thinks they did a wonderful job with the style and articulation. Cee Lo’s judgment may be about 85% hubris on this conclusion, in my estimation.

First up for Team Adam is Casey Weston; she performs “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” by KT Tunstall, and I’m back Googling songs. Adam coaches her to be more forceful and less ballad-y. On stage she’s got guys playing buckets and a couple of back-up singers, which I just don’t think is fair, but then again, who’s going to do the “woo-hoos”? Vicki from RHoOC? (Though that might be ten kinds of awesome. NBC Universal, look in to it!) She does a fairly good job bringing more power to her voice and, plus, she’s playing her guitar as well. Blake was impressed and will download the song. Christina thought it was a really fun presentation but cautions her to not let the background swallow her up. Cee Lo messes with her a bit but says she did a wonderful job. Adam is happy she did well out of her comfort zone.

Vicci Martinez is next for Cee Lo’s team and she’ll perform “Jolene” by Dolly Parton, which is a bit out of her usual style. She starts out with a guitar amid the audience then gets on the stage, which is adorned with a bunch of candles on tall stands. Wasn’t that the set up of a Police video? Or am I misremembering? She’s got a powerful and clear voice, which is quite enjoyable to my jaded ears. Adam calls the performance soulful and raw and Blake is just a huge fan of Vicci. Christina liked her use of the whole stage. Cee Lo is glad she worked the stage and big voice and is glad Vicci picked the song.

Devon Barley comes out for Adam’s team with “Stop and Stare” by OneRepublic and wants to really come out of his shell. Adam coaches him to be a bit more active on stage and hopes Devon can lose the nerves. I’ll say this about Devon; his voice is easy to listen to, but everything he sings sound very much the same to me. On the other hand, he reminds me of Jason Mraz, which is never a good thing for me. Weirdly enough, he’s pretty much dressed the same as Carson—shiny leather jacket, white button down, and skinny tie. Blake approves of the stark stage, Christina liked how he still has a powerful voice, and Cee Lo is continually impressed that he doesn’t sound like he looks he’d sound. Adam says that Devon was a bit pitchy in the beginning but he got past it and he conveyed the confidence he needed.

Curiously, I Miss the Thompson Twins

And now a moment with Cee Lo and his team. He takes them to a spa, where the team sits around in bathrobes and Cee Lo is in some kind of bizarre kaftan/kimono deal with a necklace Countess Luann would kill for. He gives them a pep talk and then it’s massages for everyone. After that taped package, they sing “Everyday People” by Sly and the Family Stone. The team and Cee Lo are decked out in 70’s clothes and he’s got a giant Afro wig. It’s a fun performance but it really shows the weakness of Curtis and the Thompson sisters.

Feel the Burn? Call an MD

Nakia on Team Cee Lo is up next; he just did a great job with his part in “Everyday People” and now he’ll be singing “Sex on Fire” by Kings of Leon. These Kings of Leon people pop up a lot on this show, yet I feel no compulsion to seek them out. Sex on fire sounds more like something that should be treated with antibiotics. Cee Lo thinks the song is going to be a challenge for Nakia. On stage, Nakia’s performance reminds me still of the 70s, but it’s not bad. What is bad are the two chicks twirling batons on fire and later some other torch things. Paging Suzanne Sugarbaker! Blake felt the power of the burn and I guess we’re behind on time, because Carson jumps to Cee Lo, who loved the performance.

Jeff Jenkins on Adam’s team performs “Jesus Take the Wheel” by Carrie Underwood. This makes me very uncomfortable; firstly, if you can’t drive, please stay off the roads and secondly, there are entirely too many AI references on this show. In rehearsals, Adam raises the key, which makes Jeff nervous but not so nervous to drop three references to his mother’s passing. Look, I said this in my Bachelorette recaps about Chris and I’ll say it here. Having a parent die early (or at all) is a traumatic experience that will color one’s life experience. However, using it on a reality show--whether because the producers pushed you or to gain sympathy--is off-putting to me. And it’s also no reason not to get a proper haircut. His performance is okay for me; I’m not sure the key change helped. Christina thought the performance was beautiful and asked him more about his mother. Jumping to Adam, he says Jeff’s powerful voice commanded attention.

And now for an interlude with Team Adam at his house for lunch. He gives some advice on stage performance and calls them all friends whom he’ll keep in touch with, yet never takes off his shades during the whole lunch. Shades, by the way, which he must have stolen from Tom Cruise when he was on the set of “Risky Business.” For their group performance they sing the Beatle’s “With a Little Help from my Friends” with a full choir. Well, mostly it’s the choir singing and some touches from the team and some shrieking from Adam. Yawn, moving on…

The Final Stretch…

Up last for Cee Lo’s team is Curtis Grimes singing “Addicted to Love” by the late, great (no snark) Robert Palmer. Cee Lo wants Curtis to get out of the country box; I want him to slick his hair back, paint his face white, lips red, and wear a tight, short black dress. But alas, no. He countries the song up, has some back-up dancers in country-slut outfits, and doesn’t even bother to sing well. Twang doesn’t make up for not being good or staying on note. Adam compliments him on his ability to wear a cowboy hat and thinks his voice is deep and manly, as Adam can’t perform either task. Blake respects him as a country guy who represents the genre well. Christina gets worked up on the sexy stuff and something got bleeped out. Cee Lo thinks Curtis did a great job and kicked ass. I think Cee Lo is talking out of his digestive system.

The final performance of the night is Javier Colon for Adam’s team singing “Arms of an Angel” by Sarah McLachlan a/k/a the Abused Puppy and Kitty Song. So I’m hitting the FF button. It may have been great, it may have stunk, but I can NOT listen to that damn song one more time. It’s bad enough I’ve got two geriatric cats, a psycho furniture eating puppy, and have promised to take in a kitten next month. If I listen to it, I’ll drive to the animal shelter and take them ALL and A&E will be on to me. Plus this dude’s a ringer anyway, so I’m suspect of his choice of song. Blake says he’s all about buying Javier’s concert tickets and CDs. Christina calls him the one that got away. Cee Lo enjoyed his actual voice from an angel. Adam says they went back and forth about doing this song, and he’s glad Javier stuck to his guns. I’m not. Make him sing something interesting, perhaps the aforementioned Candy Man, either by Xtina or Souxsie.

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

At long last, we’re down to finding out who is staying on Team Blake. Blake is dreading the decision he’s about to make, as it’s be weighing on his alcohol infused mind. He admitted earlier to not just sipping water, and really no blame there. Wine was on sale at Whole Foods this evening. Carson reveals Dia was saved by the voting public. Blake says that, given} what happened on iTunes, he’s not that surprised, but everyone has come a long way. Blake says he can’t effect change with Jared or Patrick like he can with Xenia, so he picks Xenia. He gives the eliminated dudes big hugs but says the two gals feed off each other and will grow the most, even though they are similar. I’m just pleased the vanilla bean and the head-band wearing dude are off the table. Bret Michaels sleeps a bit easier now.