Hi readers! This week I’m filling in for our Treasure Huntress Lucy, who is enjoying some much deserved rest and relaxation, and is presumably not searching the globe for artifacts that will lead her to an extraordinary treasure.
Last week was one of those cursed “to be continued” dealies, so we join the teams in the swamp, where Team Brown is saying goodbye to one of their own, and Team Geniuses is trying to decide if they will be saying goodbye to one of their own.
Teams Southie and Fogal have formed an unlikely alliance, which I think Team Southie is regretting more and more with each passing moment as they listen to Katie Fogal scream and whine about the task. At one point she stumbles, and hurts her leg so badly that she lets out the most piercing scream I’ve ever heard, and I just wonder which of the Southie boys tripped her.
Over on Team Geniuses, they’re trying to decide whether or not they should get rid of Sam. Charles wants to go the elimination route, because he’s afraid the tasks will get progressively more physically demanding, and Sam is definitely not an asset in that area. Francis and Charles take off in a boat to discuss Sam’s fate, and Sam waits nervously against a tree, hoping that his friends actually prove themselves as friends, and come back to pick him up.
My hearing has been permanently damaged.
Team Ex-CIA is in the lead and are first to arrive at the Safe House. Once there, the Max Headroom- inspired host tells them that for the slaves, quilts were used for both sleeping and for passing messages secretly. The Teams’ journeys through the Underground Railroad ends at the Safe House, but in order to move forward, they need to look to the quilts to help them find the next clue.
Meanwhile, back in the swamp, someone needs a nice warm glass of shut the hell up, and that person is Katie. I’m about to start utilizing the mute button every time she’s on screen, because we have not reached the first commercial break yet, and I already would rather gouge my eardrums out than listen to her shriek any more. She doesn’t like the task, and doesn’t want to do it any more, and her leg hurts, and… wah, wah, wah. Katie’s antics allow Team Air Force to catch up, and Brooke asks Katie if she was the one screaming, (well, duh- it wasn’t one of the Southies). Team Southie makes the good decision to keep pace with Team Air Force and ditch the Fogals.
Back at the Safe House, Team Ex-CIA searches through many, many quilts and smashes a few wall hangings before finally finding the clue. The clue points them to the Dock St Theatre in Charleston SC, and includes an enigmatic reference to “reflection,” that the teams should probably keep in mind. Todd is happy that they’re in the lead, and really, really wants to beat Team Air Force. And all of the other teams, probably- he just forgets to mention them.
Teams Air Force and Southie are second to arrive at the Safe House and after more searching, and more destruction, they head off to Charleston. On their way out, they run into Team Fogal, and I’m happy to see that Katie got over her grave injury and is able to walk. And whine.
On the other side of the swamp, Team Miss USA complains about the 90 degree weather, and bug bites, and Team Geniuses’ Sam waits anxiously for the others to pick him up. You can tell he’s starting to get really nervous, and wonder if he’s going to have to find new friends to play D & D with every Friday night, when the boat pulls up and Francis and Charles welcome him back with open arms. Francis explains that they’re friends and you don’t screw your friends over. Nice, Francis. I think you should have been able to come to this conclusion without making your buddy wait nervously in the swamp, but whatever.
Mirror, mirror on the wall… who’s the smartest team of all?
Team Ex- CIA makes it to the Dock St Theatre where they find mirrors on the backs of all of the columns. They remember the whole “reflection” reference, and search all of the mirrors for clues, ending up on the stage where they focus on the Theatre’s motto.
Teams Southie and Air Force join Team Ex-CIA, and now there are three teams wandering aimlessly around the Theatre, looking into all of the mirrors, looking at the stage, looking under chairs… basically looking everywhere that the clue is not. Finally Team Air Force gets the idea to breathe on one of the mirrors, and lo and behold, there is a picture of a fort, and the words “Fort Pulaski” etched into the glass. The teams take off for the Fort and the adventure that awaits them there.
Team Fogal arrives at the Theatre and begins searching for the clue. Dad Fogal points out the mirrors and states that he thinks the mirrors will help them find the clue. The women dismiss this idea, and Katie screeches at him for being an idiot.
Back at the Safe House, Team Miss USA is dismayed to find “thousands” of quilts to search through. Really? Thousands? Exaggerate much, Miss USA? As they look through the quilts, Team Geniuses is still working through the swamp. Sam is happy for the pain in his foot, because it takes his mid of the fact that his friends are kind of bastards.
We haven’t seen Team Brown for a while… I wonder what they’re up to? It seems that Keith is out of the hunt, and this leaves his team with two options: continue on without him, take a 6 hour penalty and skip the swamp, or quit. The brothers decide to continue without Keith, and call him to tell him so. They sweeten the pain by telling Keith that he probably would have slowed them down anyway. Boy, I can feel the love here!
That other Fort.
Fort Pulaski is an important location in Civil War history. I called my Dad for some background information, but tuned out after about two minutes. I did catch references to “General Robert E Lee,” and “the Union,” and then I pretended someone was at my door before he could suggest a fact finding mission to South Carolina. I love my Dad, but get him started on the Civil War and you can kiss your evening goodbye. The host makes note of the special care that soldiers took to ensure military intelligence would not be intercepted, and then tells the teams that the next clue is hidden in plain sight. Whaa?? That sounds confusing to me… hidden in plain sight? I hope our teams do better with that nonsense than I do.
Back at the Theatre, the Fogals are still looking for the clue, Dad Fogal is still focused on the mirrors, and Katie is still yelling at him. She’s angry that her Dad is wasting time on something that does not make any sense, and she just doesn’t want to look stupid any more. Too late. Boy, I hope she feels like an incredible schmuck when they finally find the clue and she realizes dear old Dad was on the right track all along.
Here’s a little bit of local flavor for you- the show cuts to commercial, but before it comes back, I am treated to a severe weather alert, predicting major storms and destruction in my area. When the show finally comes back, the Fogals have somehow found the clue, and are on their way to Fort Pulaski. Dang! I wanted to see Katie Fogal put in her place!
I hope you like digging.
At Fort Pulaski, Teams Southie, Air Force and Ex-CIA are working together to find the clue. With the cryptic “hidden in plain sight” advice fresh in their minds, they search through the Fort until they find a display of American Flags. They spend a lot of time counting the stripes, and warning each other not to let the flags touch the floor, until Brooke takes the time to read the informative plaque and realize that the soldiers used to hide communication in the top of the flag pole. The teams find the clue and see that their next stop is Savannah, Georgia.
In the woods of Savannah, the teams find out that in 1825, a Civil War hero was honored there. Although not a native of the US, this hero was buried in the Savannah woods… or some place in Savannah. I wasn’t really clear on the details, but for one horrified moment, I’m scared that the teams have to go on a dig to unearth the casket and figure out who this guy is. I guess I’m a little morbid, because the teams actually just have to find the fourth artifact that will lead them on the hunt to the treasure. The catch? The teams will not receive any guidance as to where the artifacts are buried… they can be anywhere, and although there are 7 teams hunting, there are only 6 artifacts, so one of the teams is going to be out of luck.
The three teams start digging, and Team Air Force is extremely fortunate enough to find an artifact the first place they dig. Todd’s hatred of them deepens even more, and I just know he’s fighting the urge to shake his fist at the sky and curse them.
God, it’s so hard to dig holes in the middle of the night!!
Again, it’s been a while since we’ve seen Team Brown. I guess since they’re just sitting at the Safe House, waiting out their penalty, NBC has decided not to burn a lot of footage on them. Once the penalty is finally up, Brown is sent to the Dock St Theatre.
Speaking of the Theatre, Team Genius is there trying to figure out the clue. They know it has something to do with the mirrors, but are stumped until Sam figures it out. The other guys are relieved that they didn’t ditch Sam in the swamp, and head out for Fort Pulaski.
Back to the woods, and Teams Southie and Ex-CIA are still searching… and now it’s gotten dark. Oooh… it must be scary to dig in the woods at night. And maddening! I don’t know how long the teams have been digging at this point, but both teams seem exhausted and frustrated, and it’s a relief when Team Ex-CIA is the second to find the mask.
Team Fogal arrives and realizes it’s going to take them forever to find the artifact, since Team Southie is still searching. Dad Fogal grabs the shovel, and asks Katie to hold the flashlight which she does not want to do! Dad Fogal prays that the task is easy for them, and I think Katie better pray she doesn’t “accidentally” fall into one of those open holes in the ground.
Team Miss USA joins the dig, and Team Southie is the third team to find the artifact. Darn it! I’m interrupted by another weather bulletin, and when the show comes back, the Fogals have found their artifact. There seems to be a pattern here- maybe my local NBC affiliate doesn’t like the Fogals either.
On his way out, Dad Fogal remarks that he doesn’t know how Team Miss USA is going to make it, because they’re just weak little girls and all, and to prove this, one of them begins to cry in frustration. To be fair, they’ve been digging for 4 ½ hours at this point, it’s hot, it’s the middle of the night, and there are probably mosquitoes galore. I think I would cry too. The team discusses quitting, and I am very disappointed in them- Team Miss USA cannot quit! They can’t!
Sometimes things seem unfair… but you’re just a whiny little bitch.
Team Brown? Oh, you’re still at the Theatre! Better get a move on fellas, or the Hunt may be ending for you. The guys talk about how they miss their bro, and how they know he could have solved the clue for them. One of them finally thinks to breathe on the mirror, and after jotting down the clue, expresses that he’s disappointed it took them so long because he over thought the process.
Team Geniuses had also better get the lead out, because they’re in second to last place, and God only knows how long it’s going to take them to find the mask. At the Fort, the boys look through all the flags, and they let one touch the floor, which I assume will earn them a penalty or flogging of some sort before the next round starts. The guys figure out where they have to go, and make it to the woods, only to see that Team Miss USA has decided not to quit after all and has resumed digging.
Team Geniuses begin digging as well, but immediately start bitching about the futility of the whole thing. Yeah guys? Tell that to the women who have been digging for five hours. I’m sure they can tell you a thing or two about futility.
Team Miss USA finds their artifact and proves that winners never quit! Team Geniuses seems incredibly pissed about this, and I’m frankly disgusted at their behavior. Francis in particular is sitting on his butt, shining the flashlight and pissing and moaning about the unfairness of the task. I think it’s unfair that I have to watch their jackassery, but you don’t hear me complaining. Well, actually you do. Sorry.
It’s really not a photo finish…One artifact and two teams remain. Team Geniuses are digging for the artifact, and Team Brown haven’t even reached Fort Pulaski yet, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what is going to happen here, although I almost wish for an upset so that Team Geniuses really have a reason to be pissed off. This doesn’t happen though, Team Geniuses finds the last artifact, and Team Brown gets the call that coldly notifies them that their hunt has ended.
Tune in next week for some more hunting, more whining, and more drama!
I’m burying masks in my back yard, but you can reach me at: SueEllenMishke@fansofrealitytv .com