Welcome everyone…I hope you are wearing your wedding finery because it looks like we are in for a black tie evening. Last week we said goodbye to our portly friend Miguel who was sent back to New Jersey were it’s acceptable to use the term “yous.” Dust off you tux and adjust your layers of crinoline, it’s time to get cookin’ wedding style.
Stephen in his smarminess thinks that he and Harold will go far in this competition. He thinks they are the best chef’s left and can’t imagine anyone else in the final two. Tiffani is tired of seeing everyone attacking each other as the numbers start to dwindle, she does not want any part of that. She will instead take the high road and be a bitch to their faces. Lee Anne talks to Harold and wonders what their next challenge will be. Harold does not care as long as they don’t have to prepare something from a gas station. Now that would be a good challenge tonight, prepare a wedding feast for 500 with only $100 and shopping at the Shell Station. I would pay to watch that because Stephen would probably cry because the only wine he could afford would be a case of Boone’s Farm.
It’s time for the quickfire challenge. Katie, the blandest host around, informs the chef’s that this challenge is about working with a client. For Tiffani’s sake I hope the client is over the age of 10. They will need to work with the client to create a menu to cater their wedding. The winner’s menu will be prepared by the rest of group at the client’s wedding reception. The winner does not receive immunity but all the responsibility if the reception goes wrong and most likely a plane trip home.
Time to meet the clients, in walks the two grooms, they will be catering a wedding for Scott & Scott. The Scott’s are looking for a pan-Asian meal with fusion influences. They want all the chefs to prepare a prawn canapé for them to sample. For dinner they want a four course meal with one of them being an Amuse Busch. They also would like a wedding cake, they feel it is part of a traditional wedding. The chef’s need to plan their menu, sketch a wedding cake, and prepare the cold prawn canapé and the winner will be in charge of the reception catering.
Make it Short and Sweet or Throw in some Origami
Each chef gets the opportunity to present their menu to the Scott’s. Up first is Stephen, he has put together a Japanese themed meal. He prepared a tangerine prawn escabche for them to sample. He goes on to talk and explain everything…in great detail…boring everyone…even the show editors…and myself. After his long and extravagant presentation the Scott’s question Stephen on whether or not he can stay in budget with this menu. Since he has no concept of reality or money he tells them he can and they question if he can purchase lobster, wine, crab, etc., within the budget. Someone really needs to introduce Stephen to the real world, heck he could come to my house for the day and cook in my tiny kitchen and heaven forbid use the microwave. Granted he would not last a day because there is potential that I would kill him and his continual talking before the day is up.
Up next with her menu is Tiffani, she presents an Evening in Shanghi. She has made shrimp spring rolls for the Scott’s to sample and they really seem to enjoy them. She then goes on to explain her cake, instead of making one large cake she wants something very extravagant, 100 tiny cakes. This is a great idea except for the fact that no one in the group is a pastry chef and that seems like a bit tedious to do if you have no experience with it. I say make some cupcakes and put extra frosting on them and call it a day.
Harold is next and he tells the Scott’s he failed art class so his presentation is going to be very simple. He wants the meal to focus on his travels through Southeast Asia. He has poached prawns and wrapped them in cabbage as his canapé for the Scott’s to try. They seem to enjoy them but I don’t really think it looks all that great. Frankly though, Harold could present bread with butter on it and I would still like him the best.
Dave, in his ultra hyper state, also tells the Scott’s that he is not an artist and wants to focus on food and flavors that are functional. I want Dave to focus on not flailing his forearms in a freakish fashion. He presents his prawn bruschetta and the Scott’s think it is the best they have sampled and I also think it looks delicious. During Dave’s presentation I can’t decide if he is proud of what he is doing or if he is ready to break down and cry.
Last to present is Lee Anne, she informs the Scott’s she is the only Asian in the room. They look surprised but I am not, they obviously have not been watching the whole season. She has made a whole bunch of origami love birds to incorporate in her presentation. She serves a crispy prawn toast that the Scott’s seem to enjoy. She tells the Scott’s if she gets chosen she will be up all night making origami birds to be part of her service.
After all the presentations have been made the Scott’s take a few minutes to sample everyone’s canapés again and discuss. Dave thinks that some of the chef’s menus were very complex and not realistic for catering. The Scott’s have chosen their winner and they are going with Lee Anne and her origami. She is shocked and happy that she has won but also knows she has a big task in front of her. Katie has one last surprise for the group, the wedding they are going to be catering is the next afternoon. That means they have 16 hours to get everything together. I bet they are all kicking themselves for not presenting frozen pizza, grilled cheese, and ice cream sandwiches.
Lining up the Troops
Lee Anne’s first task is to organize her chef team and assign task’s to each one. They each agree to prepare a course but Lee Anne still wants to go over everything so that they can help each other out if they need to. Here is what they will be preparing:
• Dave: canapé course- crispy prawn toast
• Stephen: Amuse Bouche- Japanese appetizers
• Harold: 1st course- Seared salmon salad
• Tiffani: 2nd course- Lover’s nest
• Lee Anne: 3rd course- Peking style beef
The whole group will work on the cake and the truffles. As the group starts to discuss the cake Harold suggests they purchase box cake mix to use since none of them are pastry chefs. They all agree, except Stephen, that this is a good idea. Stephen wants nothing to do with the box cake mix and the funny thing is I want nothing to do with Stephen.
You Will Give Me the Salmon
The team finds out they have 1 hour to get their shopping done and $3000 to purchase enough food to cater a reception for 100 people. Since it is late at night their only choice for shopping is the
gas stationgrocery store. All the specialty stores are closed so everything they need they will have to be purchased at their local supermarket. Once they are inside the store each person runs off to get the ingredients for their dish. Harold heads to the seafood counter because he needs fresh salmon for his salmon salad that he is preparing. He request fresh whole salmon from the lady but all she has is fresh farm raised salmon or frozen wild salmon. Neither choice is ideal but he decides that he has to have the fresh. He orders 3 whole fresh salmon but the lady behind the counter does not want to sell it to him because they need it. Now the last I knew about the supermarket was that they were supposed to sell you what they had, not reserve it for themselves. Harold finally yells at them and tells them they will be spending lots of money and they need to sell him the salmon. They agree.
Once everything is purchased they head off to the Hotel Monaco to get their food unloaded in the kitchen and start their prep work. They agree they need to pull an all nighter to make sure they can get everything done in time. Stephen proving what a great team player he is complains that he does not want to stay up all night. I really hope the team purchased some extra cheese to serve to Stephen with his whine.
Harold gets to work on filleting his salmon and he is really disappointed in the fish. He thinks it has bad color, it’s not meaty, and it’s lacking the traditional sweetness. Tiffani starts to work on the cake, emptying all the boxes in the mixer. As she is mixing up the batter Chef Tom walks into the kitchen and finds the boxes of cake mix. He questions the team on them. Tiffani tells him as a team they decided to use the box mix for the cake. From the look on Chef Tom’s face you would think he caught them spitting in the cake. I am really confused by this, I don’t really think box cake mix is all that bad. It is very easy to make and produces a nice, moist cake.
Going to the chapel…
As the wedding reception time draws near the team realizes their time is running out. Stephen has been working on his appetizer and one would think he had a piano strapped to his back with the speed he is working. Dave finished his canapé and jumps in to finish as many other things as he possibly can. Tiffani is not happy that Dave is working on other items in the kitchen, she does not trust him or want him to mess up the cake.
The Scott’s arrive at the hotel and are nervous about the upcoming day. I too would be nervous if I went on a reality TV show to hire my caterers and gave them only 16 hours and $3000 to cater my wedding. I guess their nervousness is their own fault. The chefs are all tired in the kitchen and reaching their breaking points. I kind of hope they all lose it and freak out when the Scott’s are around. Really, could they have made a worse decision about trying to get free catering for their wedding?
Eggs aren’t the Only thing Scrambling in this Kitchen
The Chefs are called away from their frantic cooking in order to be introduced to the judges. They will have their normal judges Chef Tom and Gail but also joining them today is Marci Bloom, wedding planner to the stars.
Back in the kitchen everyone starts to work diligently to get the first round of appetizers ready to go out. As they are getting the trays ready they learn they need enough food to last for an hour and a half. As it stands right now they have about enough food for the waiters to make one pass. Dave throws together a quick canapé of crab meat on pita chips and saves the day, or more specifically Lee Anne’s butt.
As the group is preparing the next course Stephen decides to call a meeting of the wait staff and instructs them on how to serve the food. The rest of the chef’s are in the kitchen scrambling to get his appetizer ready. As they are preparing the plates they realize that the special spoons they purchased still had the price tags on them and Stephen never washed them. Stephen is still missing and the team is ready to kill him. The amuse bouche finally makes it out and everyone seems very happy with it. Harold pulls Stephen aside to give him a little talking-to about his disappearance act, and basically tells him to stop messing with the front of the house and to help out in the kitchen.
The next course to go out is the salmon salad, Harold is still not happy with the salmon being served. The guests are not very happy with it either. Lee Anne thinks the whole team is worn out and the food is not reflective of what they could be doing.
Tiffani’s dish is the next to go out and everyone at the reception enjoys it. Lee Anne’s course is up next and Stephen comes into the kitchen and tells them to fire the dish. As they are getting ready to plate it he tells everyone they are doing toasts now and that the plates won’t go out for a little bit. By the time the last course is served the meal is not as warm as it should be because Stephen gave them bad information. The Scott’s think the food is good but not solid or stellar. Again, what do they expect? This is free food from chefs on a Reality TV show?
It is finally cake time and as a completed picture of the cake is shown it looks like the group did a good job. The cake is served with truffles that Dave hand rolled and the presentation looks very nice. The guests are not super thrilled with the cake and one even claims to have found eggshells in it.
The wedding is over and the Scott’s thought they did well within the parameters they were given. Chef Tom asks what they loved about the food. The Scott’s both go “hmmm” for a long uncomfortable amount of time and Chef Tom says “that says it all.” Lee Anne thinks every chef has a very humbling moment and this one takes the cake for her.
Marci thought the guests were happy at the lovely occasion but it was not because of the food. They all thought Lee Anne bit off more than she could chew with the menu she created. To give Lee Anne credit though, she had no idea she would only have 16 hours to prepare the food and a grocery store to shop in.
The chef’s are called in to be grilled by the judges. Tom tells them that he is disappointed in their performance and he has had better food from take-out restaurants. Tiffani thinks that since this challenge was about meeting the clients needs they were able to do that and the food they served was better than most weddings. Marci thinks that is a horrible statement and that her clients demand better. If her clients demand better than they should probably hire professional caters and give them more than 16 hours to prepare food.
The judges now want to know whose idea it was to use box cake mix. Harold tells them it was his idea to go that route. Lee Anne then pipes in and tells the judges that Dave should not go home tonight because he pulled more than his share of weight in this challenge. Dave thinks that Stephen should go home because he did nothing extra to help the team. Tiffani agrees with Dave and thinks that Stephen only focused on his dish and that was it. Stephen tries to defend his actions saying that he was in the front instructing the wait staff. Stephen thinks that Lee Anne should go home because it was her menu and it was too ambitious. Lee Anne is willing to take responsibility for her menu and go home because of it. Harold jumps in and defends Lee Anne and all the hard work she put in that day. The judges ask the group to leave the room so they can deliberate.
A Bunch of Losers
Chef Tom is let down by the performance of everyone tonight, he did not think they delivered. Gail does not think that Stephen showed up as a chef again tonight. Marci thought Stephen’s leadership to the servers was really good. Chef Tom also thinks that Lee Anne really dropped the ball tonight. He also knows that Harold made the salmon and that was by far the worst dish served tonight. Frankly, if Harold goes home I will be openly weeping in my house for the next week.
Somebody’s gonna get cut!
The judges announce there will be no winner tonight. After much deliberation the judges decided that since the show is called Top Chef not Top
AssWaiter, Stephen will be eliminated. Katie asks Stephen if he has anything to say. Now the man who always has a lot to say simply says “no.” I do a small victory dance around my living room as I sing “ding dong the witch is dead.” I am sorry, that was real immature of me.
What’s cooking next week?
Make sure to tune in next week to Top Chef at 10 pm or one of the other continual re-airings. We have seen the chef’s starting at the bottom of the food chain and now they are going to be working at the top. So help me god if they are preparing bald eagle, I WILL be making some phone calls. Harold is feeling sick and does not want to be eliminated because of it. All he needs to do is give me a call and I would be there with the chicken soup. Tiffani takes on too much and becomes bitchy and Dave cries. These are both shocking occurrences…NOT!
I am trying to figure out where I can get a fancy stripped apron like Harold’s, if you know email me at Yardgnome77@fansofrealitytv.co m.