Toddlers & Tiaras

[Tilden]

Her name was Brenna, right? I didn't find her cute either. Her expression was peevish and she looked nervous onstage. I might expect that from a 3-year-old, but what concerned me was (I'm trying to think of a nice way to say it) her personality seemed to be in the early stages of something not so nice. If my girls spoke to their dad the way she talked to hers, they would have been frequent visitors to the time-out corner.

For some reason, my kids (age 11 & 7) are fascinated with this show. It's sort of a horrified fascination. If there are pageants in our area, we certainly aren't aware of them. Is this a big pasttime in some parts?

Not to pick on the South, but hasn't the pageant circuit for all ages always been kind of a big deal in southern states? I think pageants are probably also more popular where there's a better chance of drawing in more contestants, thus making them a feasible industry. If you're in a less populated, rural area, I suspect you're more likely to have a local pageant related to a specifically local event--high school homecoming queen, a community festival with a pageant, a specific industry related title (e.g. Dairy Princess)--with limited connections to a national competition if any. I knew someone whose local hometown festival was Mosquito Days who was a Skeeter Princess. She rode in a number of local parades as a Skeeter Princess and was embarrassed about it until she met another young woman who was Miss Chicken Plucker at one of those parades. She decided she preferred her title to that.

[spockwhat]

Oh my, where to start? I haven't watched one episode, but reading this thread is enough.

First of all, it's a money making scheme. People figured out people are willing to abuse their children to live vicariously through them, and to pin false hopes on being discovered. These same people figured out that if they award the child whose parents spent the most money on crap like costumes and flippers and the biggest tiaras... well, then the beauty industry for these things makes more money. It's garbage that stupid people have bought into this, and it's garbage that the people that run these things have no conscience.
Second, it's child abuse. At ANY age. EVERY child has a talent of some kind (that talent could be singing, acting, sports, or being kind to others or rock collecting, WHATever) and it is a parent's most important responsibility to encourage and help their child pursue whatever it is they are good at.
No child should be encouraged that looking good is their talent. And no child should be criticised for not looking good enough, or being a brat at the age of four, when they haven't a chance to learn otherwise. It's horrifying that puppies are given as gifts, but doesn't even touch how horrifying it is that these children are abused, and many will never learn their true potential as human beings on this earth. It's so messed.

[Tilden]

Oh my, where to start? I haven't watched one episode, but reading this thread is enough.

First of all, it's a money making scheme. People figured out people are willing to abuse their children to live vicariously through them, and to pin false hopes on being discovered. These same people figured out that if they award the child whose parents spent the most money on crap like costumes and flippers and the biggest tiaras... well, then the beauty industry for these things makes more money. It's garbage that stupid people have bought into this, and it's garbage that the people that run these things have no conscience.
Second, it's child abuse. At ANY age. EVERY child has a talent of some kind (that talent could be singing, acting, sports, or being kind to others or rock collecting, WHATever) and it is a parent's most important responsibility to encourage and help their child pursue whatever it is they are good at.
No child should be encouraged that looking good is their talent. And no child should be criticised for not looking good enough, or being a brat at the age of four, when they haven't a chance to learn otherwise. It's horrifying that puppies are given as gifts, but doesn't even touch how horrifying it is that these children are abused, and many will never learn their true potential as human beings on this earth. It's so messed.

Understand that when I pointed out bratty behavior, I hold the parents to blame even more than the child. Some kids, just like some adults, do incline more toward misbehavior than others, but it's the parents' job to stop that. I can't believe that these parents take being ordered out of a three year old's room or being called "stupid" by that same three year old.

I don't remember if it was this show or another dealing with beauty pageants, but I once saw an episode where a tiny beauty pageant contestant was behaving horribly, and her father told her to knock it off or she would not be competing in the final, for which she had already qualified. She held off for a moment and then, obviously testing him, she behaved exactly the same way. He calmly told her that was it then, she would not be competing in the final, and when she continued to carry on (and she was old enough to control herself), he picked her up and walked away with her to the absolute horror of her mom, who wanted her to compete anyway, because she was up for grand supreme princess (or whatever they call it). Her better behaved sister, by the way, was allowed to continue to compete--and she won a special award for the child with whom the judges most enjoyed working. That little girl clearly wasn't all that interested in the glamour and glitz, but she did appear to be pleasant to be around, unlike her sister, who was obviously being groomed by her mother to be the big winner. Instead, once she calmed down, she had to sit in the audience while her sister got to go on stage and get an award. I loved that father for doing that--he didn't lose his temper, but he made his point: if you can't behave reasonably in public, there will be consequences. I just hope his win-obsessed wife didn't later undercut it.

[hepcat]

^^ If I remember right, the dad wasn't keen on pageants in the first place the mom seemed to be off her rocker. That was the family where it was twin girls and in every interview with the camera, the mom would say things that made it clear she favored the girl who loved pageants over the shyer twin. I'm sure it's somewhere earlier in this thread. Oh, she was horrible, saying the one kid was hopeless, she wasn't as pretty, her hair was worse, blah blah blah. It's really heartbreaking.

I think these people are from small towns and they go on these shows hoping someone in Hollywood will see their precious little child and the phone will start ringing because their kid is so! special! and deserves to be a star. "Hollywood" just doesn't work that way.

[Tilden]

^^ If I remember right, the dad wasn't keen on pageants in the first place the mom seemed to be off her rocker. That was the family where it was twin girls and in every interview with the camera, the mom would say things that made it clear she favored the girl who loved pageants over the shyer twin. I'm sure it's somewhere earlier in this thread. Oh, she was horrible, saying the one kid was hopeless, she wasn't as pretty, her hair was worse, blah blah blah. It's really heartbreaking.

I think these people are from small towns and they go on these shows hoping someone in Hollywood will see their precious little child and the phone will start ringing because their kid is so! special! and deserves to be a star. "Hollywood" just doesn't work that way.

Yes, that's the family I was remembering.

Some of the parents on T&T also seem to be prepping their daughters for becoming Miss America one day. I'm not sure why, since I think that title has lost a lot of its cachet. Some Miss Americas do go on to careers in the public eye and probably make a decent living, but most of them pretty much disappear after their reign. Those who do may very well have perfectly happy, successful lives too, but the T&T parents seem more concerned with being famous than happy or successful.

[RHFan1205]

I find this show morbidly fascinating. I cannot understand the attraction of doing it for the families. It is so expensive and generally maligned by most people as an unhealthy activity.

In one of the earlier episodes this season there was actually a very sweet little girl on. I was shocked. Does anyone else remember who I am talking about? Let me see if I can track down her name on the TLC site.

[mpmleblanc]

This show is a train-wreck, as are the families I have seen featured ( with a FEW exceptions). I can't help BUT watch. The kids are brats, mostly because they are allowed to be. I would love to order people around all day, but they would tell me to go to he!!. These parents bend over backwards for their "Diva's" in the hopes they can ride their cupcake dress train to $$$$$. The thing I don't understand... the payout. I have watched the show for a few seasons. I think the biggest prize I have ever seen is ONE contestant winning $1000. They talk of entry fees for each one being a few hundred alone. So there is no way they are making money, but constantly spending it. Even the frugal pageant families have to shell out more than $1000 per pageant. If these people had any basic math skills, they would realize what a waste of money pageants are. Put your kid in an acting class or dance lessons or piano lessons if they want to be a star. Otherwise start saving for rehab and detox. There is no way these kids can ever live up to the expectations of their families. I feel badly for them and I fear they will be suffering later on down the road for the pressure placed on them before they could even speak.

[Debb70]

Not to pick on the South, but hasn't the pageant circuit for all ages always been kind of a big deal in southern states? I think pageants are probably also more popular where there's a better chance of drawing in more contestants, thus making them a feasible industry. If you're in a less populated, rural area, I suspect you're more likely to have a local pageant related to a specifically local event--high school homecoming queen, a community festival with a pageant, a specific industry related title (e.g. Dairy Princess)--with limited connections to a national competition if any. I knew someone whose local hometown festival was Mosquito Days who was a Skeeter Princess. She rode in a number of local parades as a Skeeter Princess and was embarrassed about it until she met another young woman who was Miss Chicken Plucker at one of those parades. She decided she preferred her title to that.

You crack me up. Miss Chicken Plucker....thanks for the laugh. I do realize it is a true story, but still. I am from the south, but this is still too much. LOL

[Tilden]

You crack me up. Miss Chicken Plucker....thanks for the laugh. I do realize it is a true story, but still. I am from the south, but this is still too much. LOL

Miss Chicken Plucker and the Skeeter Princess may sound like the title of a Fannie Flagg novel, but the young women in question were actually from the upper midwest. The Skeeter Princess was from Minnesota; I'm not sure if Miss Chicken Plucker was, but if she wasn't, she was likely from a neighboring state. These titles were the result of small town, summer festival pageants, so it's not like they were traveling long distances to participate in other small town parades (and riding around in convertibles in various parades was pretty much the only perk for winning such titles--but then, nobody spent thousands of dollars trying to win them either).

I also knew a Miss Bonny Lass, who was famous, at least in her little hometown, for her parade behavior. It was tradition for a guy to run up behind the Miss Bonny Lass float (basically a decorated flatbed truck) and snatch an N from "Bonny" and the L from "Lass" mid-parade, when it couldn't be fixed. This particular Miss Bonny Lass made it clear ahead of time that if anyone did that to her, that person would be very sorry. Naturally, some jerk guy had to try, however. Having thoughtfully put on tennis shoes instead of heels under her gown, she jumped off the back of the flatbed and took off after the guy, tackled him, made him give up the stolen letters, ran back to the float, slapped them back into place, and resumed her spot on the float, all to great applause.

Somehow I don't think any of these little divas could manage that.

[Debb70]

Tilden, these stories remind me of something Betty White's character from The Golden Girls might describe from her hometown. I think she was from Minnesota. LOL Really.