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Thread: Jenelle

  1. #41
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    Re: Jenelle

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay View Post
    In my opinion, everything that you just listed defines immaturity, and I think she wants better when it comes to Jace, but she's in limbo because of the way that she has been, permissively, raised. I will admit that I have seen children with stronger sensibilities than she has, but I think these things have been encouraged in them. Children learn these things when you guide them, and by watching your actions. These people don't grow up in a vacuum...they observe and learn. Now, if they're pointed in this direction and they still "just don't get it", I think you have a bigger problem on your hands that needs outside intervention.
    I think this is absolutely on point. I also think some of the "entitlement" we see is actually resentment. I don't think Jenelle has been given much from her mother, emotionally, and she's old enough to know she's been wronged, and it's making her MAD. It'd make me mad too! It doesn't excuse her behavior, but still, it's something to consider.

    I honestly think that if Jenelle could just be in a new environment for awhile, one that was loving and nurturing but also had consistent, clear boundaries, she'd do exceedingly well. She's got a lot going for her, she's pretty, she's obviously intelligent, she just needs someone to help her use that in a healthy way. And that's not Barbara, and it's certainly not Keiffer.

    I'd take her in for awhile! And I'd take Jace in a heartbeat! What a beautiful baby!

  2. #42
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    Re: Jenelle

    More than likely we all know of a parent that has loved and nurtured a child, to have the child turn out like Janelle. We do not know how she was raised growing up. It can be out of frustration that Barbara acts the way she does. Janelle seems to me to be a very spoiled child, who is used to getting her own way, doing as she pleases and not caring what happens. She knew all along that Barbara would take care of Jace if she didn't, that was shown from the beginning with her running out to be with her friends because she "deserved" it.
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  3. #43
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    Re: Jenelle

    I just happened to catch a repeat of this week's episode. When Barbara said she sent the check back, she said she returned it to the financial aid office because Jenelle no longer lived there. If she returned it for that reason--essentially telling the college they had the wrong address--I suspect the college would simply contact Jenelle (they must have a phone number for her) to verify her address. They certainly wouldn't negate the check for that reason, particularly since they'd like to be paid as well. So, it might be a bit of a hassle for Jenelle, and it was spiteful of Barbara to do that, but it's highly unlikely that Jenelle will be out any money.

    I noticed that Jenelle also denied having her mother's credit cards when Barbara demanded that she return them, so she was guilty of behaving spitefully too, not to mention having stolen them in the first place. And Barbara, unlike Jenelle, is now out money, which she may never get back. That doesn't excuse Barbara's behavior, but I think she has a legitimate reason to be angry with Jenelle. I'd be angry if someone stole my credit cards and ran up charges on them too, though I wouldn't send back their financial aid check as a result. I might, however, escort her to the bank, have her cash the check, and then hand over the amount she stole from me and the missing credit cards. I don't see how Jenelle would have a legitimate objection to that, since she claimed she was going to pay Barbara back "right away." It also sounded like the money from he check wasn't going toward tuition/books but toward Jenelle's dream of a place of her own. People who are seriously saving for places of their own shouldn't be wandering off for weekend trips they can't afford on other people's dimes.

    Maybe I'm just cynical by nature, but I think it would take more than just a loving environment with consistent rules to change Jenelle--or that if that's what it would take, that the change would be coming any time too quickly. She seems to have very little knowledge of how the world really works, and I think she needs help with that and some serious therapy as well. Barbara needs therapy too---though I'd still like to know if she's that way with everyone or if it's just something about Jenelle that sets her off. I did read an interview with the two of them in some magazine at the gym--and since I don't remember what magazine it was, I couldn't tell you how reliable the article might or might not be--in which Barbara said that until she was about thirteen, Jenelle really wasn't a problematic child at all. When she hit her teens and starting smoking and drinking and running around is when, according to Barbara, the problems started. I can't remember if Jenelle verified that or not--my fuzzy memory is that she said things weren't perfect before then either, but that they got a lot worse when she hit adolescence. I can't remember if there were other older siblings in the house at one point too, but I almost think there were. If so, I'd like to know what their relationships with Barbara and Jenelle are like. That might be very revealing.

  4. #44
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    Re: Jenelle

    Quote Originally Posted by Tilden View Post
    Maybe I'm just cynical by nature, but I think it would take more than just a loving environment with consistent rules to change Jenelle--or that if that's what it would take, that the change would be coming any time too quickly. She seems to have very little knowledge of how the world really works, and I think she needs help with that and some serious therapy as well. Barbara needs therapy too---though I'd still like to know if she's that way with everyone or if it's just something about Jenelle that sets her off. I did read an interview with the two of them in some magazine at the gym--and since I don't remember what magazine it was, I couldn't tell you how reliable the article might or might not be--in which Barbara said that until she was about thirteen, Jenelle really wasn't a problematic child at all. When she hit her teens and starting smoking and drinking and running around is when, according to Barbara, the problems started. I can't remember if Jenelle verified that or not--my fuzzy memory is that she said things weren't perfect before then either, but that they got a lot worse when she hit adolescence. I can't remember if there were other older siblings in the house at one point too, but I almost think there were. If so, I'd like to know what their relationships with Barbara and Jenelle are like. That might be very revealing.
    Yeah she has an older brother and sister. And she said that they both act like that with her mother.

  5. #45
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    Re: Jenelle

    While watching this week's episode today, I was especially taken by the scene where Jenelle was holding Jace while screaming and cursing at her mother. All I could think of is, "We learn what we live." I was surprised that Jace had no reaction, but I guess he's been too exposed to it by now. My heart went out to him. I could think is that when Jace is Jenelle's age, they'll be playing out the same thing that is going on between Jenelle and her mother now. We do tend to parent the way we were parented.....good or bad. This family breaks my heart.

    And, even if Jenelle was a spoiled child who did as she pleased, got her way, and didn't care about what happens....who allowed her to be that way? We saw an example of Barbara's parenting when she told Jenelle not to come back, etc., etc., but Jenelle was back because she knew that Barbara's words held no weight. Even Keifer said that Jenelle would be back in the house a little later that week. He knows, too. Jenelle needs to get away and live her own life, and stop living under her mother's roof....doing whatever it takes to make that happen. Jenelle and Barbara are, sickly, codependent.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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  6. #46
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    Re: Jenelle

    Quote Originally Posted by prhoshay View Post
    And, even if Jenelle was a spoiled child who did as she pleased, got her way, and didn't care about what happens....who allowed her to be that way? We saw an example of Barbara's parenting when she told Jenelle not to come back, etc., etc., but Jenelle was back because she knew that Barbara's words held no weight. Even Keifer said that Jenelle would be back in the house a little later that week. He knows, too. Jenelle needs to get away and live her own life, and stop living under her mother's roof....doing whatever it takes to make that happen. Jenelle and Barbara are, sickly, codependent.
    I completely agree. I feel like Jenelle acts this way and takes advantage of Barbara because she knows there isn't a real consequence. She finds somewhere else to stay for a few days, and then she's forgiven and all is well again. If Barbara stuck to her words or consequences for an extended period of time, Jenelle might realize that she needs to shape up if she wants those privileges back. I know this is a problem for a lot of parents, and it seems like the problem here.

  7. #47
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    Re: Jenelle

    I don't even have kids, so I'm not trying to defend mothers, because I have some kind of personal stake in doing so. Nor do I think Barbara ought to be screaming and criticizing all the time. But at some point, it just seems to easy to me to dump all the blame for Jenelle's behavior at Barbara's feet. I know Jenelle's young, but she's a legal adult. She has a child. It's time--way past time--for her to start making more than casual, half-hearted attempts at growing up. Yes, she's in school and she has a job--and she dumped them both and gave up time she could have spent with her son to run off to Jersey on her mother's credit cards with her loser boyfriend. She smokes marijuana in the front yard in broad daylight. She parties when she feels like it and then sleeps in through her responsibilities. They keep telling us that she's a good student (though I find it hard to believe that she's as good a student as she's supposed to be when she's so utterly lacking in self-discipline), so it can't be that she's never been praised or supported by anyone. She has the possibility of meeting new, better friends at her school and perhaps at her work. But she just keeps floating through life.

    Compare her to Caitlyn from the original Teen Mom, who also had a non-supportive situation, where basically everything she did was criticized. Caitlyn is miles more mature than Jenelle, and she was also smart enough to reach out to adults who could help her when her mother didn't. Or compare her to Kailyn, whose mother has only recently become more supportive, and who was dealing with a pretty horrible situation herself. Kailyn made some mistakes, but she's done nothing illegal and she's also going to school, holding down a job, and taking care of her son herself.

    I don't excuse Barbara's behavior, and I don't think her parenting skills have nothing to do with the way Jenelle is. But I don't think everything is entirely her fault either. Even if she has an utterly awful relationship with all her kids, are her older kids in and out of trouble as consistently as Jenelle is? If they're not (and I don't know whether they are or not), maybe part of the problem lies with Jenelle herself. Certainly not every child with a less than stellar mother just caves and gives up the way Jenelle seems to be doing. She makes grand claims about what she wants to do in life, but she never focuses well enough to build any foundations under her castles in the sky, even though her school and her employers are giving her the chances to do so. If she keeps up her current behavior, those chances and her luck are going to run out.

  8. #48
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    Re: Jenelle

    Quote Originally Posted by Tilden View Post
    I don't even have kids, so I'm not trying to defend mothers, because I have some kind of personal stake in doing so. Nor do I think Barbara ought to be screaming and criticizing all the time. But at some point, it just seems to easy to me to dump all the blame for Jenelle's behavior at Barbara's feet. I know Jenelle's young, but she's a legal adult. She has a child. It's time--way past time--for her to start making more than casual, half-hearted attempts at growing up. Yes, she's in school and she has a job--and she dumped them both and gave up time she could have spent with her son to run off to Jersey on her mother's credit cards with her loser boyfriend. She smokes marijuana in the front yard in broad daylight. She parties when she feels like it and then sleeps in through her responsibilities. They keep telling us that she's a good student (though I find it hard to believe that she's as good a student as she's supposed to be when she's so utterly lacking in self-discipline), so it can't be that she's never been praised or supported by anyone. She has the possibility of meeting new, better friends at her school and perhaps at her work. But she just keeps floating through life.

    Compare her to Caitlyn from the original Teen Mom, who also had a non-supportive situation, where basically everything she did was criticized. Caitlyn is miles more mature than Jenelle, and she was also smart enough to reach out to adults who could help her when her mother didn't. Or compare her to Kailyn, whose mother has only recently become more supportive, and who was dealing with a pretty horrible situation herself. Kailyn made some mistakes, but she's done nothing illegal and she's also going to school, holding down a job, and taking care of her son herself.

    I don't excuse Barbara's behavior, and I don't think her parenting skills have nothing to do with the way Jenelle is. But I don't think everything is entirely her fault either. Even if she has an utterly awful relationship with all her kids, are her older kids in and out of trouble as consistently as Jenelle is? If they're not (and I don't know whether they are or not), maybe part of the problem lies with Jenelle herself. Certainly not every child with a less than stellar mother just caves and gives up the way Jenelle seems to be doing. She makes grand claims about what she wants to do in life, but she never focuses well enough to build any foundations under her castles in the sky, even though her school and her employers are giving her the chances to do so. If she keeps up her current behavior, those chances and her luck are going to run out.
    I'm also not a parent, so I can't say whether any of my ideas would make a difference or not, but I completely agree that Jenelle needs to grow up, and is way past an age that she should have done so with or without anyone's help. And I think Barbara has a right to keep Jenelle from Jace, or from near her house or anything of that nature that she wants to do because of the way Jenelle has acted and treated her and Jace. But I do think that when Barbara sets rules or a "punishment" (for lack of a better word) like that Jenelle has to move out because she was smoking pot at the house, or because of the credit card situation, she should stick to it instead of caving two days later. It lets Jenelle know that she can do whatever she wants, and shes still able to move back home a few days later with no consequences.

  9. #49
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    Re: Jenelle

    Quote Originally Posted by princessleslie View Post
    I'm also not a parent, so I can't say whether any of my ideas would make a difference or not, but I completely agree that Jenelle needs to grow up, and is way past an age that she should have done so with or without anyone's help. And I think Barbara has a right to keep Jenelle from Jace, or from near her house or anything of that nature that she wants to do because of the way Jenelle has acted and treated her and Jace. But I do think that when Barbara sets rules or a "punishment" (for lack of a better word) like that Jenelle has to move out because she was smoking pot at the house, or because of the credit card situation, she should stick to it instead of caving two days later. It lets Jenelle know that she can do whatever she wants, and shes still able to move back home a few days later with no consequences.

    Sooner or later, if she doesn't clean up her act posthaste, Jenelle is going to get herself into enough trouble that she can't just move back home. She's already been arrested on breaking and entering and drug charges. If she'd stolen credit cards from anyone other than Barbara, she'd be arrested for that. What would she have done if Barbara had reported the credit cards stolen and she got caught using one? She wouldn't have just been able to go home again if charges had been pressed. If she'd upped the ante from breaking and entering and pot to theft, I think the judge might be less likely to just let her off again with only probation. I'm really tired of hearing about how intelligent Jenelle is, when she keeps behaving like an idiot. I don't care what her I.Q. is. She's not behaving like she's smart.

  10. #50
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    Re: Jenelle

    Jenelle has yet to learn to connect the dots, and nobody is making her connect the dots. She needs tough love, and that's what Barbara should have given her by turning her in for the credit card theft.
    "...each affects the other, and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one." - Mitch Albom, one helluva writer

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