Paulie's Precaps - Episode 1: Three Clay Mats Up Wins Beers

[dagwood]

Originally Posted by Paulie

“How could I have made myself a new leg in fifteen seconds?” Chad goes on, raising an eyebrow. Lea stares at him blankly. “I had it already. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh!” Lea says, nodding in comprehension. “I get it! They gave you that when they put you in. Just in case.”

You made my weekend Paulie! I logged onto Yahoo and there was a link to the pre-cap! woohoo!

[Google]

 

[Super Goten]

This is my first time reading a Precap, and I thought it was great! LOL, I can't wait for more!

[SurvivorGirl]

Yay! Precaps are back!!!

Great job Paulie. As always.

[Suxie]

Oh thank you, thank you. Paulie is BACCCKK!

I also think Scout will be the first to go. As soon as I saw that her luxury item was a nose flute (I am not making this up) I thought: "Sonya, but worse."

[glennajo]

Your first precap of the season was AWESOME!!

Originally Posted by Paulie

Now, as you can see, I have all the amenities a modern seer could hope for, including one of those slide-your-credit-card transmitter thingies, which has really come in handy and saves wear on tear on my valuable wrists, which play such a vital role in coaxing the mysteries of the future from the confines of my cracked crystal ball.

“Friends are always welcome. Strangers may stay for dinner.”

Super job, as usual, Paulie!!

[Stargazer]

I don't know how you manage it, but you just get better and better, Paulie. Hilarious as always. I'm also always totally awestruck by the visual images you paint. I could almost "see" Jeff and the submarine rising out of the ocean. Amazing. The torpedo idea was brilliant. Why can't they arrive that way? I think we'd all like to see that.

Originally Posted by Paulie

I can only conclude that each of these tragic futures must have come true for this doomed lot, for I have not seen any of them return.

Heck, even the total loser who gets voted out first will never again do anything as cool as this in their entire existence. And that’s....pretty sad.”

Wide-eyed, he looks back into the camera and speaks as the waters of the South Pacific rapidly climb up his body. “Thirty-nine days! Eighteen Americans! One....Surviblublurblubble.”

“And how are you do – oh, my god!” He catches sight of Chad’s prosthetic leg. “We’ve got a soldier down over here!” he exclaims. “Lost a leg in the tube!” He tips his head back and closes his eyes. “Medic!” he bellows. This had me laughing out loud. As well as the Brady/FBI thing

“ “Oh, please!” he exclaims in protest. “Any strategic-minded chimpanzee would have bounced Rob out of the game as soon as he started flaunting that two-person alliance of his.”

The Survivors scramble around for several seconds, chattering to one another excitedly as they try to determine who belongs to which tribe. Eventually, someone realizes there are only two tribal colors, not three, and that simplifies things. Not long after that, somebody else notices that the men and women each have different colors. In less than a minute after that momentous realization, the tribes are standing single-file in front of Jeff, men on one side, women on the other.

What was I going to say? Oh, yeah, it’s a region steeped in mystic tradition.”

“Steeped?” Ami asks. “Like a tea bag?”

Jeff pauses and looks at her thoughtfully. “Yeah, I guess so. I think that’s where that phrase comes from.”

“That’s pretty weird, don’t you think?” she persists. “So these islands are like a giant cup of tea, and this mystic tradition you refer to is all bundled together in some sort of cultural tea bag to be distributed around the islands in a uniform fashion?”

“Look,” Jeff says angrily, pointing an index finger at her. He pauses and squints at her for a moment. “Let’s just drop it.”

He gestures around him, carefully ignoring the growing number of flaming trees.

“All right, all right,” Jeff says. “Ease ‘er down.” He drops the doormat to the ground, which sends a large puff of sand into the air. “We’re obviously not sending you to that house. Yet.

Great job, Paulie

[emjoi]

I assume UFOs and mysterious chain smokers are going to turn up sooner or later.

[Lucy]

That was brilliant, Paulie. I loved the fire scene, the sub, the FBI thing and much more. I'll quote just one line that put me in a fit of giggles:

“Thirty-nine days! Eighteen Americans! One....Surviblublurblubble.”

[Leo]

Ah, if only the show was like this... we bow before the Precap.

[CaNaDiAn FaN]

“How could I have made myself a new leg in fifteen seconds?” Chad goes on, raising an eyebrow. Lea stares at him blankly. “I had it already. Does that make sense?”

“Ohhh!” Lea says, nodding in comprehension. “I get it! They gave you that when they put you in. Just in case.”

“Islands of FIRE!” he says, firmly pressing a round red button on the remote with both thumbs. “FIRE!” click “FIRE!!” click “Come on!” he implores. “FIIIIIRE!!”

“This season, half of you – the nine that do not make the jury – will be served as refreshments at a local banquet.”

If only that really happened.

Great pre-cap Paulie! I'm looking forward to the rest of the season!