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Thread: 12/7 recap: If It Wasn't For Those Pesky Kids...

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    Wonky snarkmistress Lucy's Avatar
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    Aug 2003
    Playing kickball for the beer

    12/7 recap: If It Wasn't For Those Pesky Kids...

    Welcome back to Hatefest 2006! I’ll just go ahead and tell you that sadly, tragically, last week was apparently the high point of the Survivor vitriol. I guess it’s just hard to top everyone calling Jonathan a rat to his face, and people refusing to give other people food. This week is much tamer, unfortunately. Maybe Candice was just more of a rabble-rouser than we realized.

    After last week’s testy tribal council and the vote-off of Candice, the remaining survivors return to camp. “That was ugly,” Jonathan says. “I was called all kinds of names.”

    Yul tells him they can all talk about it. Jonathan doesn’t seem to think there’s much to say. He says everyone needs a bad guy, and these people have made him their bad guy, and while everyone is lying and betraying, they all blame only him for it. But, he says, he has no intention of backing down from Adam and Parvati. “I’m not going to let a couple of kids like that ruin everything I’ve been working for,” Jonathan says.

    Mess With Me, Draw Back a Nub

    The next morning, the men go out fishing, and the girls are chopping coconuts, when Parvati somehow manages to nearly chop her finger off. I’m guessing this was her first time using a machete? Anyway, it’s really gross. She feels like her finger is about to fall off, Sundra says you can see where the finger is separated, she sliced THROUGH the nail, and it’s just ew. A medical team arrives, and tells Parvati the good news is, she won’t have to trim her nail for a while, but she’s going to need a stitch to hold it together. Oh, god, how nasty. I once accidentally stuck a knife in my palm, and while I only needed four stitches, I passed out twice before we even left for the hospital. I am NOT good at stuff like this.

    Neither is Adam. “There’s something about fingernails falling off that really bothers me,” he says, presumably from somewhere out of sight of Parvati and her bloody stump.

    Anyway, they numb Parvati’s finger and sew her up, despite her astonishment that they’re doing this operation right there on the beach. Quite honestly I’d expected a lot more hysterics from her, but then, maybe she’s just in shock.

    Adam says he’s also upset that she went and cut her finger open when they only have each other and needed to be in top form. I’m frankly not sure whether it’ll make much difference.

    Seven Blind Mice

    With the drama past, however, we move on to the immunity challenge. Parvati comes in with a bandaged finger, and Jeff asks if she can get it wet. Because she’s going to in today’s challenge.

    At first, it seems deceptively simple – fill a bucket with seawater, dump it in another bucket, to raise a flag and win. But oho, not so fast! It’s family visit time!

    Through the trees, to tears and hugs, come: Jonathan’s wife, Parvati’s dad, Adam’s dad, Becky’s sister, Yul’s brother (who is NOT as hot as Yul), Ozzy’s mom, and Sundra’s mom.

    The winner of the challenge gets a feast on another island in some sacred cave, and they get to bring their family member, too. And the family members are going to participate in today’s challenge. In fact, the survivors will not be handing them buckets of water, they’ll be throwing buckets of water at them, and the family members must catch what water they can in a bucket, then pour that in another bucket. Oh, and the survivors will be blindfolded while they fling water at their loved ones.

    This turns out to be a fairly amusing challenge, and the loved ones get soaked as the blindfolded survivors fling water willy-nilly. Some of the women get the idea of wringing out wet shirts and hair into the final bucket. But to no avail – somehow, Parvati and her father win the damn thing. Lord, there’ll be no living with her now.

    She decides to send Jonathan to exile, and he kisses his wife goodbye. Jeff tells her she can take two other survivors and their loved ones to reward with her, but her dad, Mike – who has never laid eyes on these people – gets to choose who they are. Luckily for Parvati, he chooses Sundra/her mom and Adam/his dad, George.

    Guilt-Tripped By A Corncob

    They all go back to camp first, where both Adam and Sundra say they’re so glad their parents are there to see this first-hand, because they’d never be able to describe it properly.

    The non-winners look on uncomfortably. Ozzy says they’re “overrun with competitors’ families.” He says that because Parvati and Adam depend on the others for food, he feels almost responsible for helping them win the challenge.

    Finally a boat arrives to whisk the winners off to their feast, leaving the remaining three to eat the same old fish and bananas. Yul says he’s glad they have this time together. “Imagine what this would be like in the final couple of days,” he says.

    The reward group arrives at Mitiaro Island, which I possibly misspelled, where they’re greeted by singing natives dressed in tropical-print clothing and wearing leis. Why do they always have the islanders act so happy to see these people?

    Anyway, Parvati loves their reception. They head for a very pretty cave, which has fresh water, and perform some religious ceremony to anoint the cave water before they all jump into it.

    “I haven’t had fresh water in 32 days,” Sundra says, adding that it felt wonderful. “The world is getting much smaller, and it would only benefit us if we took the time to learn about somebody else.”

    Their picnic is elsewhere, full of fried chicken, meatloaf, biscuits, corn on the cob. Mostly they eat, and then lie there, although Parvati talks a bit of shop, saying their goal is to beat Jonathan. Sundra says that without Jonathan around, Adam and Parvati are a lot more chilled out, and they got a chance to talk without him around and be more calm.

    Back at camp, Ozzy, Yul and Becky talk about the food situation. Ozzy wants to hide the food, because he doesn’t want to keep feeding Adam and Parvati just to help them win. Yul sort of agrees, and they start by hiding the coconuts in the woods. Although Ozzy’s just lobbing the coconuts into the trees, and I don’t know how they’ll find them again.

    “They can go get their own,” Ozzy says, and it seems he’s including Jonathan in that. He adds that Adam eats the most, so he’s a drain. “If you can’t get your own food at this point, you shouldn’t be in the game.”

    The reward people come back, and ask if the other three had anything to eat. Having decided to hide food, Ozzy/Yul/Becky say that Ozzy tried to fish but the currents were bad. But as it turns out, Parvati and Adam and Sundra smuggled back food for them – corn, and meatloaf, and fried chicken and biscuits. Naturally, the other three feel a bit bad now about their food-hiding plan, and Becky says that probably is over. It is noted again that without Jonathan around, everyone is chilled out and getting along.

    Fear Not the Obstackles In Your Path

    We move on to the immunity challenge, which seems to be a water obstacle course. Jonathan returns from exile – we didn’t even see any footage of him out there – and Adam relinquishes the immunity necklace, saying, “no more bling-bling.”

    The survivors must run through the obstacle course, retrieve a bundle of sticks and take it back to shore, go back for a second one, and then use them to build a pole to retrieve two rings to win. If they fall in the water, they must go back to the previous platform.

    They’re all running on the same two routes, so I’d have thought there would be more wrestling to see who passes first. But mostly people are clinging to barrels and falling off – Sundra falls especially hard once -- while Ozzy flits by them. He’s like some sure-footed lemur, or something, and winds up lapping people. In the end, Ozzy and Yul both get their two stick bundles and start to build poles, but Ozzy gets his first and wins immunity.

    Ozzy says the challenge was right up his alley. “It was quite hilarious seeing people just eat it all over,” he says. Yes, I’m sure they were all laughing hysterically, Ozzy. I’d almost forgotten that I didn’t used to like him.

    The Silent Treatment: A Little Obvious?

    Back at camp, there’s some giggling and chatting, which seems to stop as Jonathan comes and sits down. He asks Becky how her sister is and she actually ignores him.

    “There’s clearly something up. People don’t know exactly what to say to me,” Jonathan says. Something has shifted, and he doesn’t know how far, nor how long he has to fix it. But, he says, if they’re planning to vote him out next, he doesn’t have time or much of a chance. He follows Sundra and Becky into the woods, and asks if they’re still cool. They say yes, he asks if it’s still Adam, they say yes. These people are horrible liars. Like Jonathan can’t tell they’re trying to ignore him entirely.

    Yul and Adam talk, and Adam is trying to talk Yul into booting Jonathan. He says at this point it doesn’t matter if Jonathan goes, Yul’s group still has the numbers advantage. Yul feels like a godfather, and is not entirely comfortable with the whole thing.

    Jonathan corners Yul, saying that the energy has shifted, and that his time away was clearly bad. “Let’s not be stupid, please,” Jonathan pleads. He says he’s the perfect person to keep around, he’s not a threat, and he saved Yul’s hide. He says if he’s gone, Adam and Parvati still in the game waiting to take the others out. Jonathan finds it hard to believe the Aitu four would screw him because Adam and Parvati are working to get on their good side. “Are they really going to sacrifice themselves and all they worked for because Paravti’s smiling at them now?” he asks, rather rhetorically.

    Ozzy and Yul chat about how they don’t want either Jonathan or Adam there. Ozzy says they’re the toughest competitors and it’s hard to decide which one is worse. They agree that as long as they can rely on the girls in their alliance, they’ll be fine. I rather hope those “girls” step up and boot both these guys later on.

    Last Week’s Council Was Much More Fun

    It’s the moment of truth, i.e. tribal council. Jeff brings in the jury, now sporting Candice, who waves to Adam.

    In response to questions, Parvati says the best thing about the reward was spending time with her dad, and how nice it is to see their families being proud of them. Adam says he doesn’t think the reward really helps in the next challenge; rather, he thinks going to exile hurts more in the next challenge. Parvati chimes in to say she sent Jonathan to exile so that people could see how nice life would be without him around, so maybe they’d keep her longer.

    Jeff asks how that worked out for the rest of them. Ozzy acknowledges that Jonathan has a strong personality and is sometimes hard to be around.

    Jeff asks Jonathan if he’s learning things about himself that he didn’t know, or if he’s heard these things before. Jonathan seems to be learning things about the other people that he didn’t know.

    Not counting Adam, of course, whose dislike of Jonathan surprises no one. “No one wants Jonathan around,” Adam says. He adds that Jonathan he doesn’t deserve to be there because he has no integrity.

    Jonathan says he absolutely deserves to be there, and that he wasn’t the one who voted off the other Raro people all by himself, and that he feels like some people still in the game wouldn’t be there if it weren’t for him. “I’ve earned the right to sit here tonight,” he says.

    Yul mutters something diplomatic about how he and Jonathan both saved each other, but then for some reason notes that his four are in control of the game, and he has the idol.

    And, we have the vote, which is rather a foregone conclusion. Jonathan votes for Adam. Everyone else, I think, votes for Jonathan. He’s gone, and tells the tribe he wants his hat back at some point. In his final words, Jonathan says everyone’s a bad liar, that they should have told him to his face they were voting him out, but that four of them will be on the jury with him soon enough.

    Jeff says they voted out someone who thought he could trust them, which means trust should now be an issue for everyone.

    Next week:

    More scheming, and it all revolves around Ozzy. Paravti and Adam develop a plan and approach Ozzy about flipping. He says he’ll do whatever it takes to win. Meanwhile Yul and Becky are becoming distrustful of Ozzy and are thinking of turning on him. Tune in to see just how stupid the Aitu majority decides to be!
    It's such a fine line between stupid, and clever. -- David St. Hubbins

  2. #2
    Salty waywyrd's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
    South Carolina
    Why do they always have the islanders act so happy to see these people?
    They must pay them well.

    Thanks for the recap, Lucy!
    It was me. I let the dogs out.

  3. #3
    Miss Universe HelenHandbasket's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    My favorite part is when the reward winners say that they're glad their loved ones are there, because it would be hard to describe. Aren't they going to watch it on tv? That might make the description a little easier.

  4. #4
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Feb 2003
    salt lake city ut
    Excellent recap as always, Lucy.
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  5. #5
    Premium Member Dinahann's Avatar
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    Apr 2004
    Small Town USA
    Great recap, Lucy. I'll miss Jonathan.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by waywyrd;2173337;
    They must pay them well.

    Thanks for the recap, Lucy!
    Plus it gives the natives an excuse for creating one of their sumptious native feasts, featuring all those exotic native foors like fried chicken, bisquits, and meatloaf. wtf?

  7. #7
    PWS is offline
    FORT Fogey
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    Jul 2004
    Perfect title, Lucy!!

  8. #8
    FORT Aficionado echo226's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    Stuck in the Middle
    A funny and fun read ! Thanks, Lucy.
    "The way to become boring is to say everything." Voltaire

    " The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated. "
    Mohandas Gandhi

  9. #9
    Who Dat lildago's Avatar
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    Feb 2004
    Great recap, Lucy! Love the title!
    Getting lost will help you find yourself.

  10. #10
    Leo is offline
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    Jan 2003
    Terrific recap Lucy.

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