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Thread: Palau 3/31/05 Recap: Gorging with Glee and a Tribe Very Wee

  1. #11
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    salt lake city ut
    Quote Originally Posted by Shazzer
    As the box falls down to the undefeated, ever chubbier Kororians, I think to myself that this might mark the first season of Survivor where people actually need Jenny Craig post show.

    the Ulongians catch on that they’ve been defeated again when the little plane continues to fly by, never slowing down even long enough to drop a fictitious, inflatable middle finger.

    Jen’s answer: “Sometimes,” which in women-speak means, “hell yes, you mo fo!”

    Jeff evilly baits the Ulongians by asking them how their fishing trip went, knowing full well they caught Nemo while the Kororians gorged on Jaws.

    The Ulongians listen to their fatter opponents and look appropriately bitch slapped by the news. Jeff is the bitch behind the slap,

    Thanks, Shaz. Just what the doctor ordered after a long day at work.

  2. #12
    Leo is offline
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    Jan 2003
    Terrific recap!

  3. #13
    daydream believer oneTVslave's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    in the hizzy
    Quote Originally Posted by Shazzer
    She never thought she’d be in a tribe small enough to fit in the teacup ride at Disneyland.

    Ibreham finishes the losing-means-goodness line of thinking by saying that maybe in some weird way, this constant-losing thing can work for them, in the way that constant losing always turns into white hot win streaks.

    Ian tucks his tail between his legs and says that in order to one-up Tom, he’s going to have to come back with a humpback whale. Or kill Tom.

    Caryn always works it like the runtiest poodle struggling to nab a teat.

    Even David Hasselhoff (The Hoff to me….for no reason) would find his desperation pointless

    Koror wins. Again. Dangit! They get everything. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

    Inside: sand, three bottles of wine, military rations, and inexplicably…….floor mats for a ’63 Camaro.

    Soon the clouds part, and a herd of flying unicorns put on a Cirque du Soleil show for the chunky tribe.

    now with 100% more Jameslessness

    Tom immediately grins in that, “I’m chock-full-of-fish” way, and talks of how he managed to drag in a sperm whale with his pinky, while solving a rubik’s cube with the other hand.

    Annnnd red bottoms all around.

    Burnett side note: look for a Koror Clam and Shark Hut™ to open at a location near you, fall of ‘05.

    Janu floats about weakly, looking like she took one too many bong hits.

    Coby celebrates by waving the little monkey. <---surprisingly not a euphemism.

    Heck, we could have set you against a team of eight chickens, and they would have kicked your non-poultry asses.

    *evilly cackles, slaps knee* Have fun, "tribe".

    Great stuff, Shazz! I was cracking up throughout. You never fail to make me chuckle, mamasita.
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  4. #14
    where's my rose garden? Covaleskie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Quote Originally Posted by Shazzer
    Bob decides: Koror wins. Again. Dangit! They get everything. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!
    I love it! Great recap Shazzer!
    There's always one in every bunch.

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