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Thread: Paulie's Precaps - Episode 1: Three Clay Mats Up Wins Beers

  1. #21
    FORT Fogey veejer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Bravo!! Bravo!! That must have been some inspirational jog, Paulie. You really outdid yourself.

    Most of my favorites have been quoted already, but this reminded me of Thailand.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    Jeff does a quick head count. “Well, I see all of you made it intact,” he says, his voice tinged with regret. “We actually expected two of you to perish in the delivery. Now we actually have to run with eighteen of you freaks.”
    "Fish are friends, not food, but everything else is fair game." ~ Pating, Survivor Cagayan Pool

  2. #22
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Jun 2003

    That was super, Paulie. I just love the way you write Jeff's character. It's just the way I imagine him. I can't wait for more of the Paulie Precap magic!

    See my avatar? That's how excited I was when I found that the first Precap had been posted.

  3. #23
    A Bit Amiss weezerette's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004

    That was wonderful!
    Your mastery of the english language is insightful. I hope you are a writer, and you use your paper for writing, not rolling doobies. Otherwise it would be a waste, you have mad talent.

  4. #24
    Yay, it's the first precap of the season!
    I like the thing you've got going with the fire...
    On the whole, that was fantastic!

  5. #25
    Angel boy
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Quote Originally Posted by Suxie
    Oh thank you, thank you. Paulie is BACCCKK!

    I also think Scout will be the first to go. As soon as I saw that her luxury item was a nose flute (I am not making this up) I thought: "Sonya, but worse."
    Where do you find their luxury items listed?
    America- love it or leave it!

  6. #26
    It's one of Paulies little jokes. Evil MB did away with luxury several seasons ago.
    the S.S. Rudy Boesch.

    Great pre-cap Paulie.

    Bonus points for including the word clay in a waythat doesn't make your readers want to throw up. It must be scary to have both Rupert and Jeffy show up in the crystal ball together.

  7. #27
    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    in a good place
    As the last person on FORT to notice the precap is up, let me just say HOORAY! Your writing is so smooth and such a great read. I love the Paulie Precaps!

    I loved your method of getting those darn castaways on shore. But please, please be wrong about Rupert's role. Pretty please?
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  8. #28
    FORT Newbie
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Imagine sitting in a staid, quiet historical society library, turning the crumbly pages of some ancient tome, when the librarian suddenly snorts and whoops out loud! Several times! There's no way I could come up with a valid excuse ("Just look at these Looney family tree branches!"), so instead, I glared at them and continued "working" at my desk. THANKS for a hilarious precap!

  9. #29
    FORT Fogey Jupiter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Lexington, Kentucky
    Sergeant Lea is walking up and down the beach, checking on each Survivor. “How you doin’ there, soldier?” he murmurs to Dolly. “Look sharp, Private,” he whispers to Travis. He approaches Chad. “And how are you do – oh, my god!” He catches sight of Chad’s prosthetic leg. “We’ve got a soldier down over here!” he exclaims. “Lost a leg in the tube!” He tips his head back and closes his eyes. “Medic!” he bellows.
    Jeff pulls a remote control out of his pocket and stares at it for a few seconds. “Islands of FIRE!” he says, firmly pressing a round red button on the remote with both thumbs. “FIRE!” click “FIRE!!” click “Come on!” he implores. “FIIIIIRE!!” A match is struck nearby. Instantly, a whooshing, roaring explosion occurs in the trees behind the platform. A column of fire shoots hundreds of feet into the air, while at its base, a halo of flame blasts out sideways in all directions.

    “Wowww!” the Survivors cheer together as the rolling wave of flame propels Jeff over the edge of the platform railing. He somersaults twice in the air before landing hard on his stomach, the tails of his untucked cargo shirt smoking from the intensity of the heat.

    Hooray! Its Survivor-time and Paulie's Precaps!
    I don't always act like a bitch; but when I do, I'm the lead float in the bitch parade.

  10. #30
    Reality? Really?
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Oh, Paulie, Paulie, Paulie!

    Had I known that your precaps were so fabulous, I would have started reading them long before now!

    The actual show paled in comparison. Please submit the submarine entrance to the show for next season -- in fact, MB should be hiring you to write all of his episodes!

    Can't wait for Week 2!

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