Welcome back to a doozy of a Survivor episode. You know how you can respect someone who’s really good at something, but you still don’t mind seeing them taken down a peg? That’s kind of how I feel about what went down this week. I’d go ahead and tell you, but then you wouldn’t read all the way to the end.
Last week, the merge led to Eliza getting the boot, as Parvati gunned for her and Jason’s poor little stick/fake immunity idol failed to save her. She did, however, manage to out Ozzy as the holder of the real idol, and she’s the first member of the jury.
A Real Godlike Competitor Wouldn’t Be Fooled By a Stick
Back at camp that night, they ask Jason if he gave Eliza the idol. He says yes, it was his only shot. He is, however, glad Eliza was the one to get screwed by it. Ozzy says Jason took a lesson from Yau Man.
Cirie mocks Eliza for whipping out that idol, but admits she was nervous for a bit. And somewhat intrigued. “Just the slim chance she might have had it, Ozzy would have been gone, the idol would have been played,” Cirie says. “Might not have been such a bad thing.” Hm, are the wheels turning?
The next day (day 25), Jason tells us Ozzy fooled him with that stick. “I felt kind of silly,” he says. But he’s still proud of beating Ozzy in that immunity challenge. “Ozzy’s not the only godlike competitor who can play this game,” Jason boasts. So is he saying HE is godlike? Aww, little Jason, do not get too wrapped up your ego there and your hero worship/hate thing.
They Could Have Quit When Ozzy Was Chosen For a Team
Oddly, we immediately go to the reward challenge. Jeff explains they’ll divide into two teams of four. They’ll swim out to water, crawling through a net tunnel, then study Micronesian symbols and go back and place them in the same spot on a board. Like Pictionary, kind of. There will be extra pieces that won’t match anything. First team to get it right wins. They’ll fly somewhere for a local dance and a local feast, and spend the night.
But one person has to sit out, and will go to Exile. They’re doing schoolyard picks with Natalie and Jason as the captains. Jason gets to go first, having won rock paper scissors, and he takes Ozzy. Natalie takes James. Jason takes Erik. James takes Parvati. Jason wants Amanda. With only Alexis and Cirie left, they take Alexis, so Cirie has to go to Exile. You know, I know Alexis is a stronger physical competitor, but damn, I wouldn’t want Cirie mad at me.
Jason and Parvati go out first, with Jason taking a quick lead. He’s first back and starts putting symbols up on the board. Parvati’s right behind. Ozzy and Alexis head out. Ozzy heads back first, puts up a few symbols and Erik heads out. James is right behind him. Natalie and Amanda go out. Jeff tells Natalie’s team theirs is wrong, so James heads back out. He checks the other team’s and they’re right, and win reward.
Boobies and Betel
Sending the four losers back to camp empty handed, Jeff sends the winning four – Amanda, Ozzy, Jason and Erik -- to a plane. Jason thinks it’s great to get a reward with those three.
Yap, is where they’re going? Erik says he’s never even heard of it, but no one’s heard of the small town he grew up in, so he can relate. Riiiiight. Because a small American town is totally like an isolated Pacific island.
On the island, they’re greeted by a native named Francis (seriously?), who tells them everyone’s waiting for their feast. Erik is impressed by the old stone walkways worn by “thousands of feet.” They pop out of the jungle into the village, which Erik calls “out of time. It’s almost like this village had been there for thousands of years.”
They load up grass bowls with food, and are offered betel nuts. Betel nuts, by the way, are a “mildly euphoric stimulant,” according to Wikipedia, and excessive use can lead to cancer.
But who cares about that when all the ladies are topless! The fuzzy blob is probably freaking out having to be everywhere at once. Native dress does not appear to include tops. “I’m sitting there getting ready to eat my food and the lunch lady doesn’t have a shirt on,” Erik says. “That’s more boobs than I’ve probably seen in my life.”
The villagers do a tribal dance, apparently about a legend in their culture. Erik says it was exciting and a powerful experience. Ozzy says he loves going places with Erik because he has this naïve, wide-eyed sense of things, as he hasn’t traveled much.
Erik spends time hanging out with the villagers, and takes a betel nut, which he says is kind of tobaccoish. But it relaxed him “maybe a little too much.” That night, after a lot of betel nut and Micronesian beer, Erik throws up. “I partied a little too hard Micronesian style.” But, he tells us later, he doesn’t regret it and he enjoyed himself.
Your Efforts To Keep Me Comfortable Are Harming My Nap
That night it storms on Cirie on Exile. She says it was the scariest thunder she ever heard in her life. Her fire goes out, it’s cold, “it’s not a good night. Not a good night at all.”
The next morning, it’s still raining. She says there’s nothing to gain by being on Exile, since Ozzy has the idol. He’s a huge competitor and then to have the idol on top of that, it makes him a bigger target. She muses that maybe she’ll have to work on getting rid of Ozzy and his idol.
On Day 27, back at camp, it’s raining, and the four who didn’t win reward are sort of huddled in a cave. James works on some wood, loudly, while the others try to sleep. Parvati finally tells him that’s “kind of obnoxious. Seriously.”
So he heads out into the rain, telling us he’s been keeping up the fire to keep mosquitos “off their ass” and then Parvati has the nerve to say something to him and then lay back down. “We’ll see how much more I can take before I cuss somebody out,” he says. Uh-oh, lovers’ spat?
The reward four return, with Ozzy talking about all the food in detail while the non-reward people look sulky. Parvati, especially, is irritated. She tells Alexis that Ozzy is “such a little brat” describing the food while others downplayed it.
James, meanwhile, tells Amanda that Parvati is “trippin”. Amanda says she doesn’t know or trust Alexis and Natalie. She wants Ozzy to be careful because he can’t trust those girls and they know he has the idol, and someone could flip.
Also, Jason tells Erik he’s feeling vulnerable, and thinks he won’t be around much longer unless he keeps winning challenges.
Only A Fool Would Trust These People
At the immunity challenge, with Cirie returned to the tribe, Jeff explains what will happen. The challenge will be to stand on a log, with one hand tethered to a bucket of water over their heads. Hand drops, bucket tips, drenching them and putting them out of the challenge.
Everyone gets up on their log and gets tethered up. But hark, here comes temptation! After 20 minutes, Jeff comes out with a bowl of sugary candy. Cirie and Erik agree to split the bowl and go out. “What the nickelodeon is going on around here?” James says. Nickelodeon? Seriously? This is a man with no qualms about cussing and he comes out with that?
Everyone else’s arms seem to hurt. At 45 minutes Jeff comes back, and James says if it’s steak, he might be in. But before Jeff can even reveal the food, Alexis gets so excited she dumps her water, and Jeff says she doesn’t get the food because he hadn’t even said it so it wasn’t deliberate. “You can mope and be mad,” he tells her, and that’s exactly what she does. I’ve not seen such an angry look on her face before this.
Turns out the temptation is a chocolate chip cookie and milk. Natalie drops her arm, but apparently that was an accident too. No cookie for her. “That would suck,” James says, and as he commiserates he swings his own arm too wide and dumps his water, yelling “aw, bitch!” No cookie for James.
At 1 hour, Jeff comes back with chocolate-glazed donuts. Ozzy leaps at it. Parvati, Jason and Amanda are left. And they stay to the 3 hour mark, as it pours rain and the others huddle coldly on a bench.
Then it’s five hours. Everyone looks bored by now. Amanda says she’s done, that she has to pee. Why not just pee where you are? It’s not like everyone’s not already nasty. But she quits the challenge and dashes into the woods.
At 6 hours, Parvati and Jason are still there. Jeff comes out with a plate of everything he’s offered so far, plus peanut butter, chocolate bars, two beers, and a pizza. They can all share it if one of them steps down. “Jason, you can make friends,” Parvati wheedles. Natalie says if he took one for the team, she’d be willing to spare him. He says he’d need a guarantee. Natalie offers one, as does Erik, and Parvati (of course). Cirie and Alexis whisper, and then agree, although they cross their fingers. Finally Ozzy and Amanda and James do. Jeff asks Jason if he trusts them. He says he doesn’t know.
“Either I’m making the biggest mistake of the game right now” or not, he says. And steps off. So Parvati wins.
“Somebody just made a deal that’s going to cost them their spot in this game,” Jeff says.
They devour the food. Back at camp, Parvati says her arm felt like it was about to pop out of its socket. Jason says he’s taking a chance. It could be his biggest mistake, or his saving grace. Ozzy tells the others that with guarantees like that, Jason should have known better. Ozzy, for one, has no plans to keep his word. He thinks Jason just made one of the “dumbest, most naïve moves in Survivor history.” Jason fell for it and is going to go home, he says.
James said Jason just wanted a friend. Ozzy says the game is outwit, out play. Amanda asks if they’re still going to vote for Jason, and Ozzy says yes, otherwise Jason will go on an immunity rampage. And we all know the immunity rampages are Ozzy’s turf.
Cirie, though, thinks this is the perfect time to get rid of Ozzy and the idol because he’ll never see it coming. She tells Parvati, Alexis and Natalie. They decide not to tell Amanda, James or Erik. Cirie says Ozzy is a huge threat. If they can pull it off, “Ozzy’s gone, idol’s gone, clean slate.”
Amanda comes by, and so they ask if everyone’s voting for Jason. Parvati tells us if she went to final five with Ozzy, he’d win, and she didn’t come this far to lose. But then she made an alliance with Ozzy and he has protected her, and Amanda is her best friend and James has been “my guy” since day one. So she isn’t sure what to do.
They go tell Jason that Ozzy still wants him out, and that he’s not to say anything to anyone. Alexis says if Ozzy gets any sniff of this, he’ll use his idol and the whole thing will fall apart. Ozzy asks James if they have to worry about those girls, and James doesn’t know because Parvati is shooting for girl power. Ozzy says this would be a good time for someone to flush out the idol, but he feels pretty confident. He says this is why the favorites are good, they’ve played before, but he may play the idol just to be safe.
At tribal council, Jeff welcomes their jury of one, Eliza. Then he asks Cirie how Exile went and whether she looked for the idol. Cirie answers that since it rained almost the whole time and Ozzy has the idol anyway, there was no point. Jeff seems surprised that everyone believes Ozzy has the idol. He asks Ozzy if that puts a target on his back, and Ozzy concedes it does.
Jeff says the day’s challenge, and Jason’s “deal”, is “one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen in this game.” Jason says the odds of him winning all the challenges are slim and so he had to try something else. He hopes the others stick to their word. Ozzy rolls his eyes.
James says you can’t expect to appease everyone over a donut. “They might have just wanted a damn donut,” he says. Jeff asks if that means not everyone will keep their word. “Sounds like what he said, Jeff,” says Cirie.
Parvati says it was a crazy deal, but she can understand why, and if it works out for him, good. But it’s a huge risk if he gets voted out.
Ozzy says his idol is a certain amount of comfort, but he’s got to sort of read the group and decide whether to play it. Jeff says based on what he’s hearing, everyone’s going to go back on their word and Jason’s going to go home.
It comes time to vote (James votes for Jason, saying, “I thought I was the dumbest survivor ever”) and afterwards Jeff asks if anyone wants to play the hidden immunity idol. But Ozzy, sealing his fate, says nothing. A few people smirk.
Jeff starts reading the votes, and as Ozzy’s votes mount, so does his grim expression. Eliza, however, would be a horrible poker player. He eyes bug out, her mouth drops, she clutches her chest. And that’s before Jeff reads the last vote, the one that seals it – Jason got four votes, but Ozzy got five. He’s out.
Amanda is open-mouthed with shock, and Ozzy looks furious. Jeff snuffs his torch and Ozzy gives his tribe a long look, says nothing and walks out.
“Well that was a very big blindside,” Jeff says, anticlimactically.
Ozzy says afterwards that he’s “an idiot” and should have seen in coming, but he got too comfortable. He says he was a fool for trusting his alliance, and is gunning for whoever it was in his alliance who flipped. “Right now I pretty much hate you,” he says. “So screw you.” See, now, he was outwitted and outplayed, he should respect that, right? But then again, he’s typically a big one on loyalty. So I wouldn’t want to be Parvati and Cirie if they wind up before the jury.
Parvati must have done something awful, because she says she needs to “do some serious damage control” and goes to talk to James. The other women want to get rid of one of the men, and are giddily talking about all women going to the end.