This is a writeup I do for our office pool. I thought you might get a chuckle or two out of it. It might also give you some insight into my mental abyss.
Its all about Robb - All of the time
Tonight episodes was about a series of huge mistakes.
Brian, Ted & Clay decide to go for a swim to the adjacent island to find the boat.
Mistake #1: The Island is a lot further away than you think.
Mistake #2: None of them are very good swimmers.
Mistake #3: Today is a reward challenge day and they just might need their strength.
But they go anyway. Clay at least brings an empty 5 gallon water jug to use as a floatation device. Ted heads off to the deep blue sea before Brian calls him back. The finally reach the island. The look around for about 2 minutes and decide to swim back.
Mistake #4: The boat is just around the island.
You swam all morning to get here, do you think you might want to look around just a little bit while you are here? It's like these three guys are trying to compete with Robb to be the stupidest player ever (no small task).
Meanwhile - over at Sook Jai. Robb questions Penny if she ever thought about voting for him. Penny gives an Oscar winning performance about how she never even thought about it. The problem is - Ken had previously told Robb that some people (like Penny) had wanted to vote him out instead of Jed. So what does Robb do? He confronts Ken about honesty. Ken quite possibly was the only person who was honest with Robb, and the only one who cared about him. After yelling and swearing at each other for half the morning, they cooled off. I figured Jeff would show up with a tape measure so they could settle it once and for all.
Reward Challenge: Shoot the balls with a slingshot and catch them in baskets. First team to 5 wins.
Sook Jai has Shii-Ann sit this one out - good for you Sook Jai - she is the least athletic person on the tribe.
Mistake #5: Don't have Clay - the shortest and least athletic man on the tribe guard Robb - the most athletic man on Sook Jai.
Robb dominates the game, and Sook Jai takes an early 4-1 lead. Finally Chuay Gahn yanks their collective heads out and Ted goes to guard Robb. Ted was all over Robb, pushing, shoving, blocking, tripping and flat outplaying him. Chuay Gahn ties it at 4-4.
Then Penny (the sling-shot-er) calls her team together. She instructs everyone to run to the middle because that is where she is going to fire the next shot. Penny - where the hell did you come from. We have not heard but 1 or 2 sentences from you in 5 episodes. And here you are strategizing and barking orders. Damn - if you get too much airtime tonight I just might think you are getting voted off.
The strategy works and Ken catches the final ball. Sook Jai wins a Thai feast. Big reward.
Over at Chuay Gahn: Something is wrong with Jan
Jan: Everyone - we have to have a funeral.
Helen: What for?
Jan: I found a baby ba-yat, and he's de-yad. (for those of you who don't watch the show, Jan has the most annoying drawn out back woods hick sounding southern drawl)
Helen: I used to do this when I was 4, for kittens, but not for a bat.
Ted: Can I just send a card & some flowers?
Helen: That's not really a baby bat - its more like a bat embryo.
Brian: Can we eat it?
Helen: Well I guess we could bury it before the flies come and find it.
Clay: - actually Clay did not say anything, but he probably thought "Man - finally someone on this tribe shorter and wimpier than me."
They proceed to have a modest ceremony for the bat AND Helen's sanity.
Back at Sook Jai: Ken & Robb go on a hike. Is this such a good idea? But Robb seems to have some sort of a breakthrough or breakdown or something.
Look - a snakeskin, its wonderful.
Wow - a cave, its beautiful.
Oh my gosh - there's bats - joyous.
Hey - I'm eating a banana - marvelous.
Gee - I'm drinking water from my canteen - stupendous.
Now look at me - I'm sitting in a cave, filled with bats, in Thailand, eating a banana, drinking water from my canteen - mere words can't describe my feelings.
Ken either has the "your scaring the crap out of me" look or the "I wonder if I could get the cameraman to turn off his camera and help me bury the body" look. You make the call.
Immunity challenge: Some sort of strategy game. Thai 21. There are 21 flags. Each team in turn takes 1, 2 or 3 flags. The team to get the last flag wins.
Sook Jai lets Robb sit out of the mental challenge - good for you Sook Jai - he is the least intelligent guy in the tribe (and possibly all of Thailand).
If you thought the fish sorting immunity challenge was exciting, you would have loved this. Almost an endless procession of individuals walking up and getting a flag, then walking back. Not sure if anyone there figured it out, but it seems like you want to make sure you leave your opponent 4 flags - than you are guaranteed victory.
Shii-Ann seems to be the chief strategist for Sook Jai - which is fitting because she has previously proclaimed herself to be considerably smarter than everyone else their - even being able to solve puzzles in her sleep.
But wait - Shii Ann makes a mistake. With only 7 flags left, she directs her team to take 1 flag away. Chuay Gahn is within, 4 - the magic number for victory.
But wait - no one on Chuay Gahn seems to be able to figure it out. Victory is staring them in the face, but no one knows it - except Shii-Ann.
But wait - Clay figures it out. If they remove 2 flags, they will win. Nobody wants to go along with it, but he eventually talks them into trusting him.
Chuay Gahn wins immunity.
Back at Sook Jai. They break out the last of the wine left over from the feast. Everyone gets sloppy drunk. Robb talks about how he has not seen his father in 21 years and all he wants to do now is tell his father how much he loves him. Tears stream down Erin & Penny's faces. Ken & Robb hug. The love fest continues until the effects of the alcohol wear off. The next night the will vote someone out.
Oh how they love each other, oh how they don't want to vote someone out, oh how they have become the love tribe, oh how I am going to be sick.
Robb is voted out 5-1. He goes out classy and corrects everyone that Robb has 2 B's, not 1. As Robb leaves, he gives hugs and gets kisses. Everyone is crying - everyone that is except Shii-Ann. She is biting her tongue because she can barely contain the laughter.
Mistake #7: They voted out Robb instead of Shii-Ann.
Say what you want about Robb, he was stupid - yes, he was a serious threat for individual immunity - yes, but he was loyal. Shii-Ann will sell them out like 1 hundred dollars - let alone 1 million.
Jeff gets one parting shot at the remaining survivors. "It seams like your tribe has finally found its heart and soul, and you just voted it out."