The storm we had while waiting for the return of the outcast seemed like an omen. I just knew it was going to be Burton. When he arrived everyone went on and on telling him how very sorry we were. Luckily Burton is an idiot and believed it all, saying it was water under the bridge. He was excited to learn about our orange lemons, but when he went off with Christa and Rupert to go get some, I admit that I was a tad nervous. I donít like letting anyone be alone with Rupert. God only knows what they are planning. I knew we would merge, and of course we did. I was really excited about having a black buff. I kicked ass in the first heat of the immunity challenge, but after running into the pole to come in second, I couldnít do as well in the final heat. It was great to have Lil back in the game, because just like a typical woman, she is pissed at her tribe for voting her out. Sheíll be easy to sway in the vote. When Burton gave Rupert his immunity I smiled and clapped really hard to make sure Rupert knew how happy I was for him. Burtonís a creep. I will admit though that it was fun to see all those votes for Andrew, but was shocked to see so many for me. How dare they? Iím Jonny Fairplay after all!
Nawt too lawng ago we ayt awr last mayl as a trahb. Lil jined us frum th' outcass trahb an' we scriped th' cookin' pawt fer lettle grines of rass. Ah've bin waysin' awhy, but ah have sumthin' mos' payple don', that bayin' strength of convection. The ress of us Margens also have convection, and thass why we awr boilin' over hayer, lahk a prairie dawg frahd in his awn jooses.
Bahfor we marged, ah was delarious from starvayshun--ah ayven asked Rhiner eff hay'd wanna go up tuh Ostrich in the naht an' strahk him dowun. Ah coulda lived fer a wayk awn Ostrich's bahsep alawn. Rhiner--thar is no one mar byuttiful awn gawd's grayn earf--said, "Dee, ar ya' losin' yer mahnd er whot?" Ah thot that wuz swayt of him tuh notiss that ah wuz fallin' fer him so hard that ah'd be willin' tuh ayt awr frayunds. Rhiner nayds protayn fer those challudges, an ah'd be har-pressed tuh deny him that mush. He awlreddy has tuh luhk awhy when ah shawr an' shempoo mahself.
At awr fayst aftuh the marge, ah wuz so happay. Ah ayt mayt an' fruht an' met mah new trahbmayts. Ah didn' have mush enerjay tuh compayt in th' challudge, but Rhiner caym up tuh me an' said that th' nest best thang to Boba Fett is Pransiss Laya, so ah mayd two lettle buns on mah head fer him. Ah didn' mahnd--they remahnded me of mah momma's cinn'min rawls.
When the thunder and lightning started I felt a chill go down my spine. I knew it was an omen that my prediction about Burtonís return had been correct. Sure enough, he came back in the middle of the storm. Like a devil, he sprang forth from the earth through torrents of rain to haunt us with his menacing presence. All I could do was lay in the shelter and silently mouth curses in his general direction. He acted all happy to see us, but I know he has mischievous plans running around in that jock head of his. I wish I could read his mind.
We went to challenge beach today. Jeff asked me about our food situation. I made sure to mention the great meals weíve been feasting on. Itís amazing what a big impact the mere mention of 15 pounds of fish had on Morganís morale. They are out of food and looked at me like they were more interested in eating our table scraps than beating us in any kind of challenge. I was almost disappointed when Jeff mentioned the merge. I think bragging about our bounty of food could have really done some damage to Morgan if they had to think about my words on empty stomachs for another day or two.
Burton won the immunity challenge. Big surprise. *sigh* He didnít even need to win, he already had immunity. I knew he was going to be trouble. I just knew it. He could turn out to be the biggest immunity hog of all time. This twist sucks rocks.
Well we all knew one of the outcasts would be joining our tribe soon, and we were anxious to see who it would be. The weather seemed to match our mood and misery. When we saw Lill would be joining, we seemed to greet her with open arms with Andrew even commenting that we were welcoming her back into the family. Yea kinda like when you welcome a drunkard ex-husband that left you on welfare with three kids to the family reunion.
I was so thankful to have the merge because, to be honest, Morgan sucks. I tried to remain positive; I tried to believe in our tribe, but dear Lord, we are awful at this game. Rupert even came over and taught us to catch fish, and darn if we couldnít even apply that simple knowledge for our own good. This merge, even though we might be outnumbered, saved us from certain starvation. Iím sorry to see Andrew go, but honestly he was my biggest competition in the Morgan tribe. Itís a new tribe and a brand new game.
Fer close ta three weeks I've managed to make everyone think I'm tougher'n nails, a pirate's pirate. But Burton comin' back ta the crew, well that shook me up a bit. It may have been a mistake, but I let 'im know just why I voted 'im off the first time. And you might as well know now, too.
Ya see, I've got a sensitive side, I do. I may act like a pirate. I may even look like a pirate to those o' ye watchin' at home. But t'wasn't always so. When I was a wee lad, I had neither the beard nor the swashbucklin' attitude. And I was mocked by the other pirate lads. They called me nasty, 'orrible names. Things like "Two eyes" and "No hook". Pirate children can be terrible mean, they can. You'll notice that I still have both me eyes, both me hands, and both me legs. It's me greatest shame, it is. And Burton makin' fun o' me skirt brought those mem'ries floodin' back, an' I told 'im so.
Burton must 'ave a sensitive side, too, 'cause he gave me immunity. When 'e gave me the cutlass and pistol, I 'bout teared up in front o' the whole new, merged crew. 'Course, I bucked up quick like and voted for Savage to be keelhauled, for real. Jeff wouldn't heed my counsel though, and just let 'im leave like the others before 'im.
Them childhood mem'ries haunt me to this very day. I can still hear one of the older kids, Mick I think 'is name was. As I left the school yard, that big-mouthed devil would taunt me, singin' "Goodbye Rupy Two-Legs".
Andrew said he would get back to me. But he didnít. They like me, the Outcasts really like me! Of course, it was no surprise to me that I was voted back in by the Outcasts. After all, I should win this game. I am a nice person. Even Skinny Ryan thinks so. Ergo, I should win this game. Right?
Andrew said he would get back to me. But he didnít. When I got back to the Morgan tribe, they were glad to see me. I picked up where I left off. Gathering firewood and water. Where did Osten go? Was he sick or something?
Andrew said he would get back to me. But he didnít. The Morgans were hungry. The rice was gone. They were glad for the merge. In truth, so was I.
The Drake tribe appreciates the hard work it takes to gather firewood and water. Realizing that I am a good person, they approached me immediately to join them in voting out what was left of the Morgan tribe.
Andrew came to me later, in what was a moment of sweet poetic justice. He asked about my vote in Tribal Council. He asked that I at least let him know what I would do. Here was my moment, and thank God I didnít miss it, ďRemember, Andrew, when you said youíd get back to me and you didnít?Ē Ah! That was great. It was worth all those days on minimal rations with the Outcasts, just to be able to say that to his face.
Andrew? Buh bye, babee. Andrew said he would get back to me. But he didnít. I am a good person. Andrew wasnít. In the end, it all works out. But I'm not bitter. Like I keep telling my boys during our time at TC. I mean, around the campfire at Boy Scout Camp: Cross-stitch this into your merit badges, sweeties, ďTime wounds all heels.Ē Andrew said he would get back to me. But he didnít. But I'm not bitter. Not bitter at all.
Well, I was right, wasnít I?
Ole Burton comes strolling back into the camp just like nothing happened. Well, get rid of one pain in the butt and get another. What do you do? At least Rupert laid down the important rules for him. No dissing Ruperts skirt. I told everyone about my philosophy. The one where everyone must be honest. (Except when you might reveal something and I sure wasnít going to reveal the one where I think everyone should know the proper combo of drugs to get stoned). I guess Jon's getting on my nerves. The most important thing is that is was the merge week. We had a great meal, but now we have all these other guys on our beach to get rid of. Weíd just got it cleaned out too, but at least they are all white people if you know what I mean. I haven't a clue what that short girl is saying, she might be foreign or something. We dumped Andrew just because he reminded us of Burton and we have to wait another week to get rid of him again.
Dude, these last few days have sucked hardcore. I mean, they've REALLY sucked. Let's enumerate, shall we? First we have to put up with Lill's grumpy mug again. That's bad enough. Think about it, it could have been Nicole or Michelle. At least then I would've had some eye candy. I think Darrah's getting creeped out by my constant ogling. Secondly, at the IC, I was thisclose to getting immunity. Alright, fine. I wasn't that close. But I was in the running, right up to the end. Maybe if I'd spent the last several days at Loser Lodge with turndown service and 4-star cuisine *coughBurtoncough*, I would have had a shot. Whatever. Then we merge, and even though the buffet was pretty solid, there wasn't a bowl of Boo Berry or a stick of beef jerky to be found. Dude, trust me, I looked. What's up with that? Finally, we lose Savage, making me the last remaining Morgan man. Oh, excuse me, I forgot. We're all Balboas now. Again, whatever. I needed Savage to stick around. Frankly, I just don't have the energy to represent like I should. And why did we have to be called Balboa, anyway? I had a cool little animal buddy too, but nobody seems to remember him. The Pelican Pete tribe would have been a kickass name, but nooooo. Rupert is the man and everything, but I'm a little sick of his constant domination. I'd say something if I weren't so damn drained. On top of it all, Lill's bad attitude is like a black cloud over all of our heads now. She's really gunning for the Morgan members. Well dudes, I'll tell you what. Lill might have the momentum right now, but I have something she doesn't: Super Mario Kart and a wicked cool Nintendo gamecube. Yeah, buddy! Where's your merit badge for THAT, Lill? Didn't think so.
OK, first, The Outcasts kick ass in the Immunity Challenge, and then I am one of the two Outcasts voted back in the game! I don't know which of the other Outcast voted for me, but I swear I'm gonna do my best to make them proud. I was a little worried about rejoining the Drake tribe again, but whatever anxiety there was seemed to go away pretty quickly. Everybody seemed genuinely happy to have me back. Rupert and I had a good talk, and I now understand why he voted me out a couple of weeks ago. I'm truly sorry if I hurt his feelings with my remarks, but I didn't think he'd get that upset about it. Then, I won the Immunity Challenge! I tell ya, when it rains, it pours! Since I already had immunity, I was more than happy to give the Immunity Sword (?) to Rupert. I mean, he did almost win the IC, and I figured it would help further ease any hard feelings he might be harboring against me.
The Outcasts won the team IC last week, I get voted back into the game, and then I win the first individual IC...it's good to be me...
I wanted to go back into the game so bad because I knew the Morgans would get all riled up once they saw the bad apple was back in. The real bitch in me would've come out and I would've kicked all their asses. Unfortunately, I wasn't voted back in. It's okay, though because I have a feeling that Burton will go far in the game and Lill will take my role as the bitch out for vengeance.
I really wanted to be one of the Outcasts to re-enter the game! It would have been awesome if I, the "sweet little girl," had gotten to go back in. I could have given the Drake's their just desserts--sweet REVENGE. Since it wasn't me, I *am* glad that Burton got to go back in. Hmm, but I will miss him at Loser Lodge! Oh well, it would be worth a few weeks without him if he could win the game. I'm sure that he can! Go Outcasts!
Awwwwww, rats! I was all set to swoop back into the game like an 85-pound avenging angel. Those other jerks would never have known what hit 'em when The Skinny Mastermind took over. I'd have scattered alliances and strategies like a whole bunch of frozen goods crashing through the bottom of a single-wrapped paper bag after a long, hot trip home.
Speaking of which, I'd better be headin' in that direction. I've still got eighteen more days in Loser Lodge ahead of me. With Trish. And Michelle. And Nicole. Hey, maybe this won't be so bad, after all.
Stupid Outcasts. Stupid Drake. Stupid Morgan. They all feared me and knew that they couldn't beat me if I rejoined the game... so I had to just suck it up and fake a smile when I heard that Burton and Lill were voted back in. I mean, really - Lill??!! As if she would ever have a chance!! It should have been me. I could have won it all for the Outcasts and shown Drake how right I was when I told them Rupert had too much power. Oh well, at least I can go home knowing that I am far smarter than those idiots. Hmmm... maybe I should stop back at that village where we began the game and see if I can find the woman at the market. She was so friendly. I bet she wouldn't cast me out.
Well, I knew the writing was on the wall when Lil began spending a lot of time with Jon. That would normally be a bad sign for any adult, but it was obviously a lost cause when she began practicing wrestling holds. We knew Lil was converted when she started growling and pointing at us Morgans, while mumbling ďsteel cage grudge matchĒ and some other such nonsense in a deep voice. The only question was going to be, would it be my name or Ryanoís on the parchment, and unfortunately it had to be me. Sure, I probably could have welcomed her back to the tribe, but she was bitter, and was going to go against us anyhow, so why give her the satisfaction.
Instead, I spent my last day reflecting on the accomplishments of the Morganís so far in this game. That didnít take as long as I thought it would, but hey, at least I could snooze the afternoon away with a full tummy. I donít get to be on the jury, and I doubt I will be given the chance to reenter the game fully fed and rested like some others who will remain nameless, so I guess in many ways reality shows do imitate lifeÖ sometimes you just get screwed over by the Boy Scouts.
"Standing in the Shadows" is a weekly collaborative effort. Thanks to: AmandaG, Bill_in_PDX, Bumpkin, Cali, Eny, Feifer, Greenie, John, KylieGrant, Lobeck, Miss Filangi, Paulie, Shayla, Sher, Wayner, and Zhora!