I knew Iíd make it to the merge, but I wasnít so sure Iíd be this strong when it arrived. Johnny Fairplay is sittiní pretty. We had a good meal to celebrate the merge. It was stingray, and I felt an odd power creep over me as I ate it. Like I consumed the power.
At the luxury challenge I was out fairly quickly as I hit my stupid ass plate out of order. What a stupid challenge it was anyway. Itís OK I didnít need a breakfast, or to come off as looking too strong. That would backfire when I go around telling people we have to rid the tribe of the strong guys.
The immunity challenge was fun. I did get the first question wrong, but then got to give Darrah two nuts (not her first two in life Iím sure) HAHA, I am so funny. I also managed to give Sarah and Sandra each a nut. Of course Sandra already has a pair of her own.
I donít know why anyone would trust or believe anyone else in this game, but as long as people are trusting me, I just donít care. I was happy to get rid of Ryano or Rhino, or Ryan O. Whatever. Heís gone, and Iím still here, lookiní good for a top finish. Show Me The Money Burnett!
I canít tell you how nice it is being all one tribe now. I thought I had it easy at Morgan because weíre all such slackers, but with Drake being all ďlook at me and how much work Iím doing! You wonít vote me out now because I cut two trees down for firewoodĒ, I can lounge around all day. I hated getting all that dirt under my nails.
So then we had the reward challenge, and it reminded me of my childhood. See I used to belong to a marble shooters gang. Yup, The Marble Shooters Gang. We used to hold the target games in my back yard. As you can tell from the reward challenge, I was very good at this. I was even once Grand Master of The Marble Shooters Gang. Then one day the fun ended. Jimmy (a junior member of the gang) was retrieving marbles near the targets and another member let one rip and Jimmy lost his eye. Sadly, we had to disband after that. It just felt good to feel the marbles in my hands at the challenge. Ahh, I miss those days.
Oh and Iíve made an alliance. Itís all on the downlow, but yea I voted for Ryno just like everyone else. Morgan is dead to me.
Damn, Iím good. Iíve got this game all figured out. The key is to be able to switch gears faster than anybody else. This is a game of changes, and I know how to rideíem, babe. Iíve got alliances in every direction and no one knows I donít have any qualms about choppiní any tie at any time. The beauty of it is that Iím the least likely target if any of my alliances start to crumble. Say I stick with my former tribemates to make the final 5ÖboomÖIím in the final 3. Iíve also got the Morgan ladies wrapped around my finger with this whole learn-to-forage-for-food-because-the-boys-wonít-be-here-forever thing. They could not have asked for better news. I think theyíll probably do anything I tellíem to do just to keep the she-power thing in motion, including gettiní rid of their last fella.
Iím loviní it, loviní it, loviní it. Not as much as I would be loviní it if I had gotten me some of those pancakes at the reward challenge though. Oh hell yeah! You canít imagine how good pancakes and syrup would taste right about now! I was the first person to hit a plate with my slingshot, but it just wasnít meant to be. I should have guessed Rupert would win breakfast. Rupert or Burton. They win all the challenges, and they will probably keep right on winning everything unless they ďaccidentallyĒ suffocate in Christaís silky soft hair one night soon, (itís amazing what a good conditioner and a little personal grooming can do for chemically damaged hair). Either way, Iím zooming right into the end-game with my hand firmly on the gear shifter.
I'm gittin' frustrated with the laziness o' the former Morgan members o' me crew. That Tijuana is a piece o' work, she is. She's happy ta eat the fish I catch and cook, but she doesn't want ta get firewood and thinks the old Drakes work too hard. I s'pose where she comes from, the fish gather the wood, start the fire, and cook themselves.
I'm feelin' mighty secure in me position as captain. I've got me two closest allies in Christa and Sandra. Those two'd follow me to the death, they would. I was admirin' Christa's form; the lass has fine "definition" she does. Course, when she didn't know what a cutlass was, I offered to show 'er mine. She'd make me a good "first mate" if ye get my meanin'.
T'was a shame I had ta vote off that Ryano fella. He was a good lad. I woulda traded him fer a couple o' the bilge rats on me own crew, but sometimes I let me Pirate Loyalty get in the way of makin' the soundest o' judgements. Wait a sec, there is no such thing as Pirate Loyalty! Blast it all!
All I have to say is that I RULE! I'm back in the game and am getting along good with my tribemates. Well, at least they think everything is peachy. I don't trust Rupert, Christa, and Sandra as far as I could throw any of them (and who could even pick up Rupert, much less throw him?), but they don't need to know that right now. I figure that if just go with the flow for a few more days, everything will fall into place for me.
I was so psyched when Rupert gave me the breakfast he won at the RC, but who was I gonna take? I figured I'd take Lil just to string her along a little further. I mean, we are both former Outcasts blah blah blah. But, when it comes right down to it, the only person I'm looking out for is me. Lil is just as expendable as any of the other people out here.
Now that we've gotten past another week and Ryno is gone, I think I'll start to put my plan into action. I need to talk to Tijuana and Darrah about this (Of course, talking to Darrah is one thing; understanding what she says to me is a whole other story...). Jon will go along with my plan, I'm sure. Then there's Lil. I figure that if the five of us can vote as a block, we can get rid of The Three Amigos. Once they're gone, I'll get rid of these other hangers-on one by one...
Me an' Tay awr lahk bes' friends out hayr. Ev'ryone wanted tuh have awr vowts. Firs' mah husban' soon-to-bay tol' us that we'd vowt out Rooper. Then Sunder an' Chris'mas asked us tuh vowt lahk jus' th' gurls. Ah pritty mush wait fer Tay tuh choose fer us. We spen' lawts of tahm jus' walkin' th' baych, up an' down jus' walkin' an' walkin' lahk gerbils on a rilly flat traydmull. Tay talks with awl the trahbmayts, wall ah practiss mah conserned look. Thass importen hayr--it's jus' lahk when mah Uncle Billy Jo Augustus sits on th' porch, an' he raises one ah-brow, his chayk full of chaw, an' awl us kids would git so fraytened. Tay talks an' ah give mah look.
Jawn Forklift is pissed with may cuz ah' rayjected hem at th' octuhpus smoothay challedge. Wah would ah want tuh be nahs tuh hem? Ah wouldn' evah dayt Jawn, whot with his hayd bein' lahk a bale of cott'n, an' his words bein' 'bout as sawlid as a cheetoh.
Lassly, ah am so ferlorn that Rhiner's fahr wuz snuffed an' awl. Ah wuz fixin' tuh tell hem 'bout haw we'd have nayberin' grave plots, sahd bah sahd, ayven 'n death. But at trahbul counser Chris'mas gawt awl mad 'bout mah nappin'. Ah had tuh tell Chris'mas 'bout haw we use tuh cuhlect fahrwood as a trahb, nawt scamperin' 'bout lahk a 'possum jus' bafore mah momma gits out her shotgun an' fixes tuh mayk a homemade 'possum pah.
I guess we are really getting into the game now. I donít even acknowledge the ones from the other tribe. That Ryan guy bugs me, that little dwarf I canít understand bugs me, Lil just gives me the creeps. They are all so gone. Any plans Iím making are for after we clear the beach of that lazy ass trash. In the spirit of Survivor , I think a big Pagong is in order. Get rid of Rupert Ė hah do I look stupid ? Wait Ė donít answer that. People always start laughing when I say that. Iím taking Rupert with me to the end. That way I donít go hungry you see. As for Sandra , sheís ok for someone whoís Ė you know not quite American. Sheís good at washing my hair and cleaning up the shelter. Burton is gone after we dump the Morganís. Iíd even keep Jon the tool in after him. Iím a sucker for blondes. Maybe Iíll go down and see if theyíve caught another electric ray. Itís the closest thing to a buzz they have on this island, and Iím not missing out.
Wow. All I can say is Wow! What a difference a week makes, no? The Drake tribe really loves me, I can tell. And they appreciate how hard I work. Just call me the Cincinnati workhorse.
When I was gathering firewood, I made sure to pick up the largest limb I could find and carried it back to camp. Well, actually, it was more like a fallen tree. No one was paying me any attention though, so I said, ďNow I know how Jesus felt.Ē Of course I only meant when Jesus was gathering firewood. Not on his way to the Crucifixion. Because that would be a really stupid comparison. Yep. Only a complete idiot would try to compare themselves there.
How about that Rupert! Such a nice fellow. He even gave up his reward to Burton and I. On our trip to breakfast, Burton and I had a chance to talk. When Burton told me he was a former scout, well, any doubts I had about trusting him just went up like a puff of smoke from a campfire! We have a secret alliance. Being a former scout, no way Burton would ever betray me. No one knows about our alliance of course, no one could even guess. We made a pact to ignore one another at camp. And I put two coconuts in his tray at the Immunity Challenge. Just to show everyone we arenít friends. I just know my strategy to be the last Morgan voted off is going well.
Dude, there are bad days and then there are bad days. Like, okay, the time I got all the way to the River of Flame on Diablo II, and then my wicked super-awesome stereo system blew a fuse and I lost my game. That was a bad day. And the time I walked the 12 blocks in the rain to 7-11 to curb a beef jerkey jones and all they had was turkey jerky. What the hell is turkey jerky about, anyway? If I wanted to eat something healthy, would I be looking for it in jerky form? No. No I would not.
Oh, but anyway, those horrors pale in comparison to finding out that my pirate buds aren't as righteous as I thought they were. Dude, when Andrew got the boot last week, I knew I might be in trouble. You don't play as much Frogger as I have without learning a thing or three about strategy. But I'll cop to this, brother - I didn't see an elimination coming. Not yet. I thought I made it perfectly clear to Burton that the Drakes didn't deserve his loyalty. I thought I had cozied up to Rupert enough. I thought Darrah and I were connecting at a real deep level, although I can't be sure of that, since I can't understand a word she says. And I know that I'm less annoying than Jon. Whatever. They can all take their little Panamanian excursion and stick it where the sun don't shine. What goes around comes around. And you know what, dudes? This one friend of mine got stuck with jury duty a couple of years ago. It was a big case, and he was sequestered for like a WEEK. AND - this is the sweet part - his hotel had Playstation 2. I bet I'll get that same luxury. Word! I've built up some sweet calluses on my thumbs out here in the jungle. I'm going to be able to play for like 36 hours straight. This trip wasn't in vain after all.
"Standing in the Shadows" is a weekly collaborative effort. Thanks to: AmandaG, Bill_in_PDX, Bumpkin, Cali, Eny, Feifer, Greenie, John, KylieGrant, Lobeck, Miss Filangi, Paulie, Shayla, Sher, Wayner, and Zhora!