Okay, I'm embarrassed. I can't believe that it took us ten days to realize that there are worms around here! We could have been eating plenty of fish every day if we'd thought of that sooner.
It was great the way Tambaqui finally came together as a unit, stopped focusing on the girls during the challenges, and actually won both reward and immunity. I don't know about the other guys, but nearly setting my legs on fire sure has a way of taking my mind off the women. And lucky for us, the fishing challenge had the women completely out of sight, so we were able to focus again. Amazing what we can do when we take our minds off of the women. And those amazing long legs. So smooth... dammit! Focus Dave! As for the reward challenge, the Coke is refreshing, but I think the makers of "RC Cola" missed a surefire promotional opportunity there.
This whole time I've been trying to find a way to really connect with the guys. I tried motivational speaking - that didn't work. I tried Zen breathing techniques - nothing. But now I'm really playing the game. This week I found their level - limericks. I think I can ride "There once was a girl from Nantucket" all the way to the final four.
The tribe has ostracized me because of my association with Ryan and Daniel. The guys deliberately left me behind when they went on their worm safari. My manhood is still intact, but Iíve got to find a way to build some ties or Iíll be the next one going home.
ďThe bad news is Iím going to smell like fish for awhile, the good news is that you guys never take me anywhere so youíre not going to have to smell me anyway.Ē - Mateo, The King of Fish
My skills as an experienced fisherman came through for me today. I landed a beautiful fish. The Coca-Cola we won at RC only served to enhance the positive vibe as we hovered around the dinner table feasting on my catch. They are going to remember this day, and it shall henceforth be called Mateo Day. I feel a little more secure now in my role as provider, and the lines of communication are opening to me. That IC win was my reprieve. Itís game time. ďLa la la la Bring back that loving feelingÖdo da do da.Ē
Gosh, I'd been practicing in my mind for days now. I tried so hard to refrain until the merge so I could serenade Heidi with my best Righteous Brothers imitation and sweep her off her feet. (just fyi, that's why you didn't see me at all on last night's show...I was off rehearsing). I mean come on, it worked for Maverick. But lately I've been noticing just how far Heidi is falling in the beauty department....plus I just couldn't wait another minute. And in an attempt to keep feeling like part of the group, I just burst out into song. It didn't matter that we didn't know the words except for the chorus. It was a grand old time, and I think the other guys really respect me for initiating what I think will become our nightly campfire bonding routine.
"It makes me just feel like crying...
'Cause baby, something beautiful's dying"
Yeah, I guess that's appropriate.
I like my machete. It's sure dangerous, but I like it. I like Coca-Cola. I like refrigerators. I like refrigerators with Coca-Cola inside. I like fish. I like catching fish. I like it when Matthew catches fish. I like eating fish. I like drinking Coca-Cola out of the refrigerator while I eat fish. I like winning Challenges. I like not going to Tribal Council. I like burying myself in palm fronds so nobody can see me. I like how nobody knows I'm here. I like how I'm doing so far. I'm winning. I believe in myself.
Well the male bonding continues, but itís starting to get out of hand. The reward challenge was a great chance to get hugs and affection and pretend it was in the best interest of blocking the wind. Donít get me wrong, Iím straight, remember, but everyone needs some good old fashioned loviní
The coke was GREAT. Would have been better if it was a 24 of Bud, but Rob isnít legal of course. (You are KIDDING me that heís over 21, right?) The best thing about the challenge, next to seeing Jenna again, was that we actually won! I could never hold my head up high if we kept getting spanked by a bunch of women. How could I go back to Bellys?
Winning immunity was great. I kind of like the immunity idol. I like to think itís a great big voodoo doll of Dave and bash itís head while he sleeps. So far, no luck. It was great to eat REAL fish againÖ I mean, instead of the little guppies we had been eating, of course.
Now that Daniel is gone, I kind of miss the kid. Iíll never get a chance to slap him around, but itís still kind of fun thinkiní Ďbout it. With the two youngsters out of the way, I havenít had to confront anyone in days. Thatís probably a good thing as far as the game is concerned, but my trigger finger is gettiní itchy. I havenít figured out who weíll be going after next, but Iíve got my eye on Rob. That kid is sure enthusiastic considering heís such a loser. Heíll probably hand out cards at the reunion inviting us to come and sing with him in his garage. Hell, Iíll bet he just likes Heidi because she reminds him of two magic eight balls. Pathetic.
I just have to laugh. Those ladies didnít stand a chance in the last round of challenges. Building fires and fishing? Are you kidding me? Them theres manís work, and we schooled Ďem.
Well, I took a chance and made a risky move tonight, voting with the "hot chicks" to dump Joanna. Dr. Faust made a deal with the Devil, so I hope I'm not doomed to the same fate in this game.
"Jeanne with the Scheme" is essentially powerless now, so that has neutralized one threat and I'm pretty sure she'll come around with Christy and me to pick off one of the boobie sisters next time we go to TC. Besides, if Shawna continues to be such a baby she'll be a justifiable "mercy boot" and we'll only have 4 "fun bags" to contend with. It was pretty disappointing to lose both challenges so soon after assuming "leadership" of the tribe, but let's face it, the fish were as annoyed with all the "Praise the Lords" as we were and didn't come anywhere near our bait in the fishing challege for fear of becoming part of the second playing of the "Loaves and Fishes Miracle Celebration." The guys are gloating now, as they've stopped flirting long enough to focus on a challenge or two. Jerks. Have a Coke and a smile and shut the hell up.
Well, will wonders never cease? I made it a point to sort of hang back, do a lot of work and make myself valuable to all that I could. While we didn't win any of the challenges I think I definitely won by being straight and steady. It looks like I made up the deciding vote for the " cute" girls and Deena. The best part is that deciding vote was cast for Joanna! Hmmmmm I will have to ask if she was singing glory on her way out of the tribal council.
I think if I keep it up I can form a strong alliance with Deena and then make it to the merger. I am feeling good and strong and very much in control of myself and my destiny in this game a little more. Now, if those girls could only hear what I see the guys saying about them when they are out of hearing range.. !
This morning I woke up to the sound of Joanna Sharpening her machete. The tribe agreed to get up early and start the day off on the right foot. Joanna and I kept our word. We got wood for the fire and started the water boiling even though it was someone else's shift. We have some real lazies about the camp. Joanna and I really just wanted to get started on the fishing so we could eat well today.
At the reward challenge the tribe worked together pretty well and I thought that we would win but it just was not enough. I was certain we would win the immunity challenge with all the fishing experience and success we had, but again we were just a little short. Shawna was drained after each of the challenges and I took care of her the best I could considering where we are. She needs to get out of the Amazon. We are sending her home tonight.
I just cannot believe that Joanna got voted off. These people have no idea how valuable she was to the survival of the entire tribe. This is not a popularity contest. We need strong people to make it out here and I am not sure how much longer Shawna can last.
Every day's been a struggle. I'm sick, I'm weak and I hate it. My Jaburu girls have been pretty understanding though. As long as I kept doing more work than Heidi, I knew they'd keep me around. At least I thought so. It hit rock bottom after the guys won our ice cold refreshing cola beverages. I finally broke down and told them how bad things were. I couldn't move, I couldn't think and I couldn't help the team. I wanted out, but that's easier said than done. They basically want me to lay here on my death bed and vote with them. Yeah, that's gonna happen girls. It's me against the world now and the world better watch out. They better vote me out soon if they know what's good for them. I know it seems like the end of the world now, but I just have to remember what JoAnna says. "This too shall pass."
I am happy with how the game is progressing. Bringing Deena into the alliance was smart, as it seems Shawna is losing it. It is tough enough to overcome the handicap that having incredible beauty creates, but now one of my key alliance members is sick. My tribe mates donít have much sympathy for her, and I know it is because they have a lot more fat than we young girls do.
Nevertheless, with Christy and Deena onboard, things look good for me in my plan to get ahead in the game, and if nothing else, we should get a good nightís sleep now that Joanna is gone. Glory halleluiah!
Why was I stuck in an all-woman tribe? This isn't fair. All my womanly powers are going to waste. Instead of being treated like the Queen of the Amazon, I'm here cooking and listening to Joanna ramble stuff about 'beauty fades'. It's not my fault that I have this beautiful body. Joanna needs to get over it, and should just keep swatting those flies buzzing around her. I was planning on using my charms to dazzle the guys again, but that meanie, Jeff foiled my plans when he set our teams 50 feet apart from each other. Oh well. At least, I'm still safe from being picked off by the bigger, older women since Heidi, Shawna, and I decided to be charitable and allow Deena and Christy to join our Alliance. Shawna is falling apart, but we don't plan to let her go just yet. Our sisterhood can never be broken! That's unless we all get tired of hearing her dying animal moans. Glad Joanna is gone, though. She can take her 'Campaign against the Cuties" and her Oh Glory somewhere else.
Oh Glory! We have been working so hard trying to keep the camp clean, but it's just not enough. The "little-miss-thangs" are just laying around all day complaining about how they're too weak to work, and they're 'the cute ones.' I couldn't stand it, and I tried to get them motivated by quoting from Proverbs, the verse about how beauty is fleeting, but they didn't even understand it. In addition to a better boob job, Heidi needs to get a CLUE.
Anyway, at the reward challenge, we worked SO hard, but the men still beat us. We were so out of it after that, and we didn't win immunity either. Shawna was sick, so she was the obvious one to vote out. I assumed that some of the young ladies were going to vote for me. Obviously, I was right, and at Tribal Council, I was voted out. Farewell, Amazon. This has been an amazing experience. Hallelujah!
With thanks to (in no particular order) Feifer, Jodaar,Wolf, Cali, Ilikai, lurkinggirl, BravoFan, shersidhe,Kylie, Miss Filangi,Zhora, Wayner, Paulie, Firegirl, Bill & John.