Oh, my dear Survivor fans, this week you are in LUCK. You know how satisfying it is to see a mean person get true payback? If so, you’re going to love this week’s shenanigans.
The brief “last week on Survivor” recap reaches back to when Susie was wooed over to Crystal and Kenny’s side, which truly has influenced everything that has happened since. If I had to name a pivotal moment in this game, that was it.
Desperation Sets In
The survivors return to Nobag the night after Charlie’s boot. Randy, the old grump, looks irritated. He thought he was the target because he was pissing people off, but acknowledges they made a smarter vote removing Charlie, who is well-liked.
I do think it’s probably unwise of the majority group here to gloat out loud in front of Corinne and Bob and Randy. Corinne says Kenny and Crystal are taking out her whole alliance, and it’s likely she and Randy are going home.
In the woods, Sugar and Bob talk. Sugar wants Randy out, but Bob tells her he doesn’t have the idol. She acts surprised, and continues to pretend that she doesn’t have it either. Bob says he busted his ass at Exile but couldn’t find it, so he made a fake one that looks really good. He shows it to her, and says he’ll only tell her. Sugar tells us Bob must have some kind of strategy in telling her this.
Elsewhere in the woods, Corrine and Randy talk. Corinne says Matty and Sugar are stupid to not think about the fact that there’s five of them and they can’t all be final three. Randy says he plans to continue to be his “same, charming self.” He tells Corinne he hates these people and he can’t act like he doesn’t. She wants Randy to talk to Matty and get him to understand he’ll be on the chopping block when all the easy votes are done. Randy says their only way is to get someone to flip.
They’ve got treemail suggesting the reward challenge is the ever-popular food auction. Corinne hopes to save her money for something more strategic than a cheeseburger. “Nothing tastes better than $500, except a million,” she says.
At the challenge, Jeff tells them they can’t pool money and they can’t share food. The first item is beer and peanuts, which Randy wins. He then sits chugging his three beers.
The next item is covered, and Kenny wins it. It turns out to be a note telling him to send someone to Exile and take their money. He chooses Bob.
The next item is also covered. Sugar wins this one, which turns out to be chocolate and peanut butter. She’s thrilled.
The next item is a hot bath – right there in front of everyone – and a clean set of their own clothes. Susie wins it, although Randy bids a hundred to bathe her. Ew. Sugar tells Kenny he should have gone for it, because she’d cuddle with him if he had new clothes on.
The next item is a hamburger and fries and a soda. Matty wins this one. Susie, bizarrely, gets out of her bath. Sugar yells at her. “That’s cuckoo, I’d have been there the whole time.”
The next one is covered, and once again Kenny backs down. He thinks it’ll be something bad, but it’s spaghetti, garlic bread and a glass of wine. Nom.
The next thing is a sealed note that will give them a huge advantage in the next challenge. Corinne goes for all $500, and wins it. Jeff tells her not to open it until the immunity challenge.
The last item is a plate of cookies for the tribe, which Randy wins. He asks if he can have them all to himself, but Jeff reminds him it’s for the tribe. He offers them to each of them, but Sugar declines. Randy won’t let her give one to Matty, though, because he says it’s not hers to give. Finally she takes the last one and still gives it to Matty. Randy got no cookies.
“She can kiss my ass,” Randy tells us. He plans to “turn it up a notch” now.
In Which Randy Continues His Campaign To Make Enemies
Back at camp, Matty congratulates Corinne on waiting and thanks Sugar for the cookie gift. Randy says it wasn’t from her, it was from him, wasn’t he watching? He tells us he left the auction half-drunk, full, and pissed off, and he’s going to “burn this house down.”
Randy’s anger over Sugar’s cookie defiance baffles the rest of them, who can’t understand why a grownup is acting like a baby. “Have you ever seen a grown man get so mad over a chocolate chip cookie?” Sugar asks us. She says she didn’t take his damn cookie for herself because he didn’t really want to give her one.
Randy tells Matty that at the auction, “I was treated like a dog.” Matty says Randy set himself up and has to drop the attitude. Corinne says Matty could help them if he wants, and Randy says Matty’s on the outs with his alliance, because the final three will be Crystal, Kenny and Susie. He thinks Matty has a better shot of winning with him and Corinne.
Bob is at Exile, and tells us he knows the others will vote him, Corinne and Randy off. The extra clue he receives this time is one he already found on his own, so he decides to “go for my own little safari.” He wanders off, accompanied by gratuitous African music. Bob tells us he realizes what a lucky person he is, and how beautiful Africa is.
At camp, there’s talk of getting Randy out next. “He’s a troll,” Crystal says. But Matty says that Bob should be the one to go next, to get him out of the loop. Randy and Corinne won’t win challenges, and it’s safer to remove Bob. Sugar tells us Matty is playing the game and trying to get control, and possibly it’s that he wants Randy at the end because it’s “smart to have a jerk at the end.” Matty really pushes Bob, Randy and Corrine as the boot order, and finally the others agree. Randy comes up, finds them all in the hut, and just shakes his head.
In the woods – and I think it’s two days later by now -- Randy tells Corinne he’s going to “crash and burn” today. He spent all night thinking of “the most diabolical” things he could do to keep them in the game. Their only chance is to shake things up. He plans to make people miserable and “show these morons, just put them in their place.” I’m not entirely sure of his logic here, and how it would put other people “in their place” for Randy to behave like an ass. Generally I find the high road is the best way to let others look foolish. But then, I’m not a misanthrope with the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old boy.
Randy’s plan is for Bob to have gotten the idol. Randy makes people hate him, they vote for him, Bob gives him the idol, he springs it at tribal, and voila, Susie goes home. Randy wants to blindside Susie. He thinks they’re in their predicament because Susie switched alliances. “It’s part of the game, but the hell with her. This would be sweet, sweet revenge,” Randy says.
He goes to Matty and starts bitching about Susie yawning loudly. Kenny says Randy is 49 and acting like a two year old. Matty says Randy just sealed his fate, he’s done what he can but now it’s a no-brainer that Randy has to go.
Randy still whines about the cookie, since it was his to give. He also tells Susie to shut the eff up. Crystal says Randy is a troll and has to go. Susie says she feels sorry for Randy. Randy says the more they freak out and the more paranoid they are, the more “Operation Strongarm” can be effected. Plus there’s still an immunity challenge to play.
$500 Is An Expensive Loss
Speaking of which. Bob returns, and Jeff explains how the challenge works. They each must carry three bags of puzzle pieces over a balance beam. The first two to get all three bags across move on to the next round. The next round, they’ll arrange those puzzle blocks along an angled platform while avoiding trip wires that could knock their blocks over. They must arrange the blocks so they’ll fall like dominos and trip a flag.
The third person will be Corinne, whose auction advantage is that she doesn’t have to do the first stage, she can be in the final round.
Kenny and Matty turn out to be the other two in the final run. The three of them have all set up their blocks, and try out the domino effect at virtually the same time. But Corinne and Matty have messed up somewhere and their blocks stop falling, while Kenny’s works. He wins immunity.
Corrine says since they didn’t win, now it’s a wing and a prayer that Bob has the idol.
It’s a Good Thing Bob’s Fake Idol is So Realistic
Back at camp, Kenny is congratulated. Randy is 75 percent sure he needs the idol tonight. So hopefully Bob will give him the idol and the one going home will be decided by Randy, Corinne and Bob. Right now they’re targeting Susie.
Off in the woods, Bob and Sugar talk. She says she has his best interests at heart, and it might behoove him to vote for Randy. She hates Randy, who’s “an ass” and a bigot. She asks Bob if he told anyone he didn’t find the idol. Sugar has an idea -- she thinks it would be hilarious for Bob to give Randy the fake idol. Bob says his life expectancy is better if he lets her have that satisfaction. He thinks it’s the only way to save himself.
So Corinne gets Bob alone to “run through the options.” She tells him not to trust anyone, especially not Sugar. But that if he found the idol, the best strategy would be to give it to Randy. And that the three of them should vote for Susie.
So in the hut, Bob pulls out his fake idol, and Randy grins. Bob tells Randy he’s pissed people off, and maybe he should give him the idol. “I love what you’re thinking,” Randy tells him.
They go out in the woods, and exchange the idol. Randy promises Bob that if Bob’s in the finals and Randy isn’t, he’s got Randy’s vote for the million. Randy tells us it’s one of the most selfless acts he’s ever seen, and there will be some surprised people tonight. Oh yes, Randy. There certainly will be.
Sugar tells Bob he’s awesome. In the hut, she promises Crystal and Kenny tonight will be the funkiest night of their lives.
Randy Reaps What He’s Sown
At tribal. Jeff says the auction should have ended happily, but it didn’t. Sugar says she didn’t think about it being Randy’s last cookie. “We’ve heard about it for two days,” she says.
Randy says it wasn’t the last cookie, it was his cookie. He thinks Sugar’s action was harsh. “It’s freakin’ cookies,” Sugar says.
Jeff asks Susie why this cookie is so representative of the game. Susie says it makes her question if Randy is really like this. She feels sorry for him because he’s probably very sad. Randy says that’s like saying he’s pathetic. He also says he was sincere with the cookie, and he went off at camp. Corinne says he did yell at Susie today and it was awkward.
Crystal says yes, there’s tension. The cookie situation exploded into blatant disrespect to a grown woman (when Randy told Susie to shut up). If this is the true Randy, she says, “then he’s giving it to me raw and I will never talk to him outside this game.” If being such an ass is a game strategy, Crystal sounds like that she might forgive.
Bob says people are brave enough to bring up the hidden immunity idol, and he hasn’t let anyone know one way or the other. Randy agrees with Jeff he is worried tonight. But he’s not ready to go home.
So it’s time to vote. Corinne votes for Susie, whispering that payback’s a bitch.
Sugar votes Randy, of course. “You are a disgusting old hotheaded chauvinistic alcoholic bigot and you need to grow up before you die alone,” she whispers. Wow. Well, yes, that does seem to about sum up Randy.
Crystal, however, doesn’t bother to whisper. “You have made my life hell from day one,” she says loudly, clearly audible to the others, who giggle. “Forget you, go home, goodbye.”
Jeff fetches the votes, and asks if anyone wants to play an idol. And, like clockwork, up pops Randy. Those who know he’s about to play a fake start laughing, while Corinne looks smug.
Jeff says the rules state if it’s played, the votes don’t count. “This is not a hidden immunity idol,” he says, tossing Bob’s hard work into the fire. Sugar breaks down in giggles. Randy looks at Bob, who looks sad.
And of course there are three votes Susie, the rest for Randy. He’s out. See ya, old fart. I feel sorry for Marcus and Charlie, having to spend time with him at Ponderosa.
“Being voted out by these bozos is probably one of the best accolades anyone could get,” Randy says in his final confessional. “To hell with these frickin’ people.” He wishes Corinne luck if she wasn’t in on “the plot,” which he doesn’t think she was, but hopes the others, except Matty, get bitten by something nasty.
Jeff says it’s clear the game is coming down to trust. I don’t think so, I think it’s coming down to numbers. The only reason Randy was made a fool of in addition to being voted out is because he’s so vile and unlikable. He’s my candidate for awesome crazy final tribal speech in the end.
Bob concocts some story for Corinne about how when they threw the idol into the ocean, Marcus threw it in and no one checked the bottle and Marcus had it in his pocket and then hid it and showed Bob where it was hidden. Yeah, Bob, good luck getting her to buy that.