And Survivor: Gabon is back. This week we’ll learn who wins – the smooth-talking black man, or the old POW white… oh, wait, no. Wrong contest.
Last week, the insipid Kelly was finally booted, about three episodes later than she should have been.
Crying Over Spilled Rice and Childhood Insecurity
We rejoin the action at Fang, where they’re still counting their dwindling rice grains. Matty says he’s losing spirit and hope. “I’m hopeless about Fang.”
And then Crystal spills some of their precious rice. “That’s a ton,” Matty says. “Rice is more valuable than gold and she just trips over it.” He wanted to yell at her but says it’s pointless. However, he and Ace share a look, which Crystal sees, and she goes into a martyr routing, refusing to eat. Ace prods her several times, but she says she doesn’t want to feel like she took away from anyone in the tribe. Yeah, no one loves such an overt, pity-me martyr. She says they don’t have to say anything, their faces say a thousand words. Ace tells us that she’s done him a favor, she’s next.
We head over to Kota, where the problem isn’t a lack of food, it’s that Dan eats it all. Corrine is telling them her parents asked her not to curse too much on air because it’ll make her look trashy. Oh, is that what it is? Dan says Corrine, Marcus and Charlie are really tight, almost exclusive, and he is not in that group. He even tells them that, basically whining about how he doesn’t make friends easily or something.
“I don’t know if he’s a former fatty or why he wasn’t liked as a child,” Corrine says. Wow. And it was the cursing her parents were worried about?
Marcus says Dan is going to be a huge liability, and there’s nothing they can do to save him from himself.
Easiest Monkey-in-the-Middle Ever
They go off to the reward challenge. It’s basically a game of keep-away. Three tribe members will throw breakable balls back and forth, while a member of the other tribe attempts to knock the ball out of the air and break it. The reward is a helicopter trip to a scenic spot, with a picnic basket.
Randy knocks out a ball for Kota. Sugar is fairly useless, while Randy growls at her, literally. She tells Jeff Randy is ugly and mean. Meanwhile, Bob’s strategy is to basically tackle people. Jeff says Sugar is doing “absolutely nothing.”
Kota wins, unsurprisingly. They send Sugar back to Exile. Jeff says this is her fifth visit, which is unprecedented. Matty tells us Sugar is worthless in challenges, and he wants her out. He’s getting tired of watching Kota enjoy everything.
Randy Reaps What He Sows
Kota’s scenic spot is some sort of crater that looks like it contains part of the Badlands, the way the formations are. Bob is deeply impressed. They plop down by the edge and start to eat.
Fang goes back to camp, and Matty says he’s never been so embarrassed. Really? He’s more embarrassed about this than about pissing away a trust fund? He tells the tribe Sugar was completely dominated and it was pointless to even keep going. He and Ace go off, where Matty begs Ace to let them vote out Sugar. “Me and you are aligned, so make me comfortable,” Matty says. But Ace says that idol of hers benefits them both – sure, right – and they can use it to their advantage. He wants to boot Crystal.
Crystal and Kenny watch from afar; she knows they want her out. Kenny wants to blindside Ace. “The way he’s manipulating Matty, he’s the devil. And he has to go.”
At the picnic, Randy gloats over how the best part of reward is that Fang doesn’t get it. Let’s see how much he gloats next – a man comes and brings them all letters from home. Guess who didn’t get any? Randy. No one loves you, you old misogynistic grump. Bob is sobbing he’s so happy. He’s crying, most people seem to be tearing up. Except of course Randy.
Sugar’s on Exile, of course, eating fruit, as usual. She tells us she doesn’t really know what’s happening in the game. “Thank god for Ace,” she says. She’s sticking with him because he’s the strongest player, not because she’s stupid, according to her.
Being College Logrolling Champion Isn’t Quite Good Enough, Bob
The next day, they go to the next challenge, where Jeff drops a bombshell – they’re playing for individual immunity, and both tribes will be booting someone tonight. But it’s not a merge. Not yet. Jeff also promises another twist afterwards.
The challenge is a logroll – a member of each tribe trying to knock the other off a log into the water.
This is not terribly exciting to describe. Although Bob says he won the lumberjack log roll in college. “Who knew that would come in handy?” Jeff asks. Bob wins that round. In the end, the last three are Sugar – who stayed in not by not falling, but by not falling first – Ace and Marcus. In the end, Marcus wins. So he’s got immunity, and Jeff reveals the other twist – Marcus can also give immunity to someone else. He chooses Sugar.
He tells us he hopes she’s smart enough to keep it, and that the result will be the departure of Ace, Matty or Crystal.
Crystal says with two idols, Sugar’s now the most powerful person in the game.
Turning on the Snake?
Back at camp, the Fang people thinks Susie might be gone from the other tribe. Kenny says he’ll lie and do everything in his power to win Sugar over to vote with him and save Crystal.
In the woods, he tells Sugar that she’s a target, and that Ace said she was good for nothing except her possession of the idols. She tells us she doesn’t trust Kenny, but Ace is also the biggest snake in the game and she doesn’t know who to trust. Kenny tells her Ace wants her out so he can have her idol. She pretends to agree with Kenny to blindside Ace. “She may be a pinup girl, but she’s very smart,” Kenny says. He tells Crystal that the plan is working, and that Sugar is with them. Crystal says she won’t trust Sugar till she writes down Ace’s name.
Down by the pond, Ace asks Sugar for the idol, in case they double-cross him. She says that’s not happening. He asks if she’s willing to risk that, and she says she has to think about it and he’s making her feel awful. That he asked for the idol has now made her feel Kenny might be telling her the truth. But Ace has had her back in the past. She doesn’t know what to do.
Turns Out Fake British Accents Don’t Help in Quite Every Situation
Tonight, of course, there are two tribal councils, and Fang goes first. Jeff asks Sugar how camp life is going. She says they’re low on rice, that Crystal accidentally knocked some over and didn’t eat. Kenny says it might be a day’s less rice now.
Matty says rice is the most valuable thing they have. They eat about 6 to 8 spoonfuls a day. He starts to say no one yelled at Crystal, and she gets defensive. He tells her to simmer down, that they moved past it.
Ace says Crystal’s idea that they were mad at her is in her own head. She says no, it was obvious from their faces. She says no one saved her any rice, and they would have if they’d really wanted her to eat. Ace points out that he urged her to eat several times.
Sugar says it’s “such petty bullcrap” and that this kind of stuff is why they haven’t been winning.
She keeps her immunity, and they vote.
And, in a true blindside, ACE is voted out. Haha, see ya, snakey! Take your fake accent and go home! He sarcastically whispers “Thanks, Sugar,” and later tells us he’s very disappointed.
Matty, of course, is upset, since he voted for Crystal and now he’s out on the limb without his ally. And Sugar, who did vote for Ace, had better realize she just got rid of her only protector.
Jeff says after 21 days, Fang is finally starting to play the game.
In Which Susie Loses Her Damn Mind
So now we’re on to Kota, who haven’t had to vote anyone out in ages. Dan asks Marcus if it’s him, and Marcus says he doesn’t know. Dan is pretty worried.
Randy tells Corrine, Marcus and Charlie that he trusts them, and that they’ll just play it to Bob that they’re final five. Marcus says Randy has pretty much replaced Bob as their fifth, and that as long as he is reliable he’ll last.
They think Dan’s an idiot, and that Susie is more trustworthy. Charlie tells us Dan should really cross his fingers that Susie’s “going to blow up and do some crazy stuff.”
That’s your cue, Susie! She and Corrine talk, and Corrine tells her it’ll probably be Dan going home. She tells Susie she trusts her. But Susie, for whatever reason, tells Corrine she was going to vote for Corrine, but if they keep her in the loop she’s down with voting Dan.
“So this moron has decided she’d like me to go,” Corrine rages. “I hate her, hate her, hate her. I want to stab her in the face.”
She tells Randy, who tells her Susie is nuts. He says the problem with Susie is that her vote can be bought. Corrine wants to switch the vote to Susie. Corrine also goes to the other guys. Marcus says either decision carries risks. They remember that Dan went to Exile long ago and he might have the idol.
Stupid Is Saved By Inept Food-Hog
They head off to their tribal council. Marcus says they’ve got to keep the most powerful people because that’s how they’ll survive. Susie disagrees with Jeff that she’s the weakest in challenges. Jeff asks who’s weaker, and she says Corrine. Corrine, of course, disagrees. She says she is fine with people saying whatever they’re thinking, because she’s operated without a filter for years.
Randy thinks he is 8 on a scale of 10 of … strength, maybe, I don’t know. He says he doesn’t have to pretend and people know where he stands most of the time.
Dan says he tends to be a worrywart and it has inhibited him from being completely comfortable and completely himself.
Charlie says trust is a huge thing, because they want to merge as a powerful group. So his vote is based on who he can trust going into a merge.
And the vote is three for Susie, three for Dan, until the final vote – Dan. I guess Corrine didn’t get her way. Yet. Dan tells us he’s a little bit disappointed but glad to be going home where he can be himself. If his real self is as dull as his Survivor self, then home has my sympathy.
Jeff says despite being successful, they’re clearly not one big happy family.
This appears to be merge week. The voiceover has Randy claiming he’s the “new leader” and saying he rules and that the power is shifting. But as he’s also holding a glass of wine, and behind him people seem to be skinny-dipping, I suspect some of that is just drunken joking on Randy’s part.