I was looking forward to making (unofficial) Screen Caps for The Bachelorette but the show was just too boring, so I've been looking for another show to snark on. I generally don't watch Survivor (it's just not my kind of show) but since a new season was starting I decided to check it out and see what I could do with it.
I'm new to the Survivor boards and I'm not sure how seriously people take the show so I figured I'd better post a warning for those people who haven't seen any of my (unofficial) Screen Caps before.
If you take Survivor seriously and don't like people making fun of it, stop reading now!
If you have a sense of humor, read on...
Wow, this place is pretty!
Ugh, this place is creepy!
"Nyah nayh, my boat's faster than your's. Oops, was that out loud?
Welcome to Palau, make sure you enjoy your boat ride since this is the last time you're going to be clean, dry and comfortable until you get stabbed in the back by the people who you think are your friends, get booted off the show and sent to a run-down, cockroach-infested, third-world hotel which will seem like a five-star resort in comparison to this place".
"There are two immunity necklaces for the first people to reach the shore. The rest of you will have to take your chances with Malaria, Hanta Virus, West Nile, Leprosy, Hepatitis, Rabies, and Cholera as well as Yellow, Dengue and Typhoid Fevers".
"What are you doing? Sit down!"
"I'm trying to get an unfair advantage, shut up".
"Risin' up, back on the beach
Did some time, have no fire
Went the distance, now I'm trying to cheat
I'm a man with the will to survive".
There are kids somewhere I feel really sorry for...
"As we were getting close I was thinking, 'I can run faster than a car' so I figured I could swim faster than the boat. So I went for it".
"I'm just standing there and this hot babe jumped in so I listened to my little head and jumped in after her".
"EEK! A mouse!"
It's not a Reality-TV show without wardrobe malfunctions and since this is the highest rated show it must have the most malfunctions, QED. So let's count them, that's one.
"I'm thinking jumping early may not have been the best idea..."
"Oh just look at this, it's supposed to say 'you're screwed' but they wrote 'your screwed'".
"It's the show called survivor, it's the thrill of the runs
Risin' up that's just lunch it was larval
And the host of this show creeps around in the night
And he's watchin' us all on the show called Survivor"
"Everybody was running around getting stuff done, I had a few people try to wrangle me into doing my fair share. You gotta watch out for that kind of thing or you could end up having to do some work".
"You know, this would be easier if the camera guy would get the !$#%@!# out of the way!"
"There's no way I'm getting a wardrobe malfunction in these pants, that's better!"
"Shoes! Shoes! Shoes!"
"What about water?"
"Oh screw the water, I've got shoes!"
"I have to say I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw you because I realised I wasn't going to be the most obviously gay person here".
[Bad Transylvanian Accent] Two, two Wardrobe Malfunctions, [evil laugh]. [/Bad Transylvanian Accent]
"I just eat my first grasshopper! Waaaa, I can feel it, it's still kicking!"
"I told you to chew it!"
"Jonathan, is out of the game".
"But, I'm so pretty!"
"Givin' up, right off the top
Puked my guts, out so sorry
Sung my heart out, 'til they begged me to stop
I'm a man with the will to survive
"This is Binky, Warrior Monkey God. Bow-down before the great and wise Binky".
There's no screen fuzz, but that's gotta count as Wardrobe Malfunction #3
Wardrobe Malfunction #4
Wardrobe Malfunction #5
"Just fire, just get the fire. As long as we have fire we'll be fine".
"Who are those guys over there in the uniforms?"
"They're the Foreshadowing Police".
"We need to decide what to take, let's vote on it".
"OK, so take everything but the fire".
"Maybe we should have thought this out before the race".
"Stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke, stroke".
"What side do I paddle on?"
"We can't all paddle left".
"You're paddling backwards".
"Which end do you hold?"
"The guy in the front steers, right?"
"What do you think, new beach or old beach?"
"I bet this is a twist, I bet the new beach has a hotel on it with running water, room service, a pool-side bar and wirless internet".
"Yah, let's go for it".
"Do you think we should tie down the box with the flint in it, just in case we capsize?"
"No we'll be fine. What's that?"
"The Foreshadowing Cop just gave me a ticket".
"Out the left side of the canoe you can see, ahhh!"
"Why is the water so much warmer here by you?"
Wardrobe Malfunction #6
"I know I'm stronger than most of their dudes".
"No one has had a shower in three days, we're all getting pretty strong".
And finally, Wardrobe Malfunction #7
The bar has been set, let's see if they can get over it next week!
"OK, news flash. You're all my bitches!"