Standing in the Shadows : A compilation - Week 9
After her emotionally overwrought "performance" last week, Pippi Saggyass was, for the most part, a minor player in this week's episode. She was paired with Jake for the first stage of the Immunity Challenge, and the team made a valiant effort on the obstacle course. However, the effort wasn't quite good enough to advance them past the first round. She wasn't quite as efficient in the Immunity Challenge, going out (along with most of the other tribemates) on the first question.
Best Move: Jan was supportive of both Clay and Ken during the Immunity Challenge finals, shouting words of encouragement and congratulating both on a job well done.
Worst Move: What would an episode of Survivor: Thailand be without the obligatory shot of Jan's saggy ass in her bikini? But, wait a minute...would that really be Jan's worst move or the cameraman's?
Oh Jake! Why o why did you have to start telling those awful booooooring tall tales! Why? You were doing so good! Even Magilla didn't buy your stories! You messed up, and now you might not be accepted to the CG Boys Club. And what's up with you trying to get the mini-weasel, Clay, on your side. Your best bet was little ole Jan. There's already a bond between the two of you. You're the elders, you've been paired in a couple of challenges together, and you both had a part in the death of Lucky. All you had to do was to find another dead bayat or another critter, and attend the pet cemetary with Jan. You would've had Jan eating from your hand. Ewwww! With Ken now gone, things are not looking good for you. Forget about Penny and try to ally yourself with Helen, Jan, and Clay. The Ted/Brian Alliance looks kind of shaky right now, but keeps your eyes open for whatever opportunity that may arise. Keep the hope alive Cowboy!
Best Move: Came up with a plan to try to get one of the CGs to vote with them, even though he approached the wrong person. At least he tried to save what was left of SJ, instead of sitting around like Ken and Penny hoping for a miracle.
Bad Move: Telling those stupid stories to try to get in good with the CG Clan, but it backfired. Approached the wrong person, Clay, about voting Brian off.
"First chink in the armor, Ted." Our jolly computer programmer guy finally attracted some attention at Tribal Council, garnering three votes from the desperate Sook Jai. All of a sudden, everyone's talking about how Ted's not as well-loved as he thinks he is. Not even the view of Ted's baby girl could temper the negative sentiment brewing against him. Still, Ted's staying the course as far as being kind to everyone around him when he's in public. In fact, he's the only Survivor who thought to welcome Jeff himself to the Reward Challenge after Jeff welcomed everyone else.
If nothing else, Ted is the master of spin control. His explanation for his ill-received solo flight in "Mitzi" (my name for the hot, new replacement vessel) was masterful. Don't let on that you were bothered at all by Helen's recipe diarrhea. Play the family card instead. It's practically infallible. About the only thing Ted did wrong in his Tribal Council speech was the conclusion: "I think that's what's going to take me all the way to the end, er, uh, I mean, heh-heh, take me, uh, as far as I will wind up going in this game. "
The damage control speech wouldn't have been a good move if Ted hadn't made a bad move first. Drifting out to sea on your own wasn't quite as isolating as Africa Frank's elephant communion, but it did raise quite a few eyebrows. Clay didn't vote for you this time, Ted, but he may still have something cooking with Jake. Tread lightly, Big Fella.
After a nice relaxing night around the campfire watching "Suck My" boot another player, Clay was rested up and ready for some home movies. Unfortunatly he was teamed with Ken for a chance to watch the long version of his wifes tape. To get revenge, he stomped Ken in map reading and translations, earning him the immunity collar. Hoping to keep it for a while now, he helped boot Ken by feeding misinformation to Jake about the way Chewy was going to vote that night.
Best Move Beating Ken to win immunity for 3 days. And not going into an alliance with Jake too early.
Worst move Thinking that necklace looks good. What a gaudy piece of metal!!
Oh where oh where has our little Penny disappeared to? She really was not a standout in this episode. During family videos I realized that no one in her family attended for the taping. Only her future husband and his friends were there and I actually don’t remember them telling her anything like “we miss you” or “we love you” or “good luck!” In fact, it appeared to me that Penny’s group was late for dinner and the taping was an inconvenience. No wonder Penny was crying at the end of her viewing! Has to be hard to realize that you aren’t all that missed. I do remember seeing her briefly in the RC, but only long enough to realize that pushing a ball through a net was not going to be her strong suit. And she joined the other pack of losers in not remembering the symbol for the number 9. Sit Down!
Worst Move Becoming a member of Helen’s recipe circle and bringing up the topic of food yet AGAIN! Yes, we understand you’re hungry and that food is foremost on your mind, but join Jake. His stories made be boring, but at least they don’t inspire cannibalism.
Best Move Telling everyone at tribal council how much you like them, how you feel like a member of the family… Nice job at trying to endear yourself to a group that obviously has put a target on your tribe. Maybe if you stop talking food and Jake keeps telling his stories, you will be the last of the Sook Jai to get the boot.
"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it." Oh wait, wrong show. Twenty seven days on the island, and it's no wonder Ted tried to paddle back to the mainland. She's proving that she's the queen of the recipe. On the, uh, bright side, she's always got a singing career to fall back on if times get tough. For a second there, I thought she might break out into a Sam Kinison-inspired rant. No such luck, but she did managed to squeeze a tear from Clay's eyes, and blood from the rest of the tribe's ears. Apparently obsessed with money, and who's doing better than her, she's targetted Brian for owning a Caddy and a baby grand...piano! (Admit it, that's not what you thought I was gonna say.) But, when push came to shome, she voted with the rest of the pack against Ken. Maybe she did that so that she could continue doing her Penny impersonations on the stand-up campfire stage? We may never know, but as long as she doesn't break into song, it might be better that way.
Brian, you are starting to show yourself as too much of a leader. As soon as we get to individual immunity you might as well put a target on your head like the one Gervase wore to TC in the original Survivor
Keeping Clay under wraps, without breaking your alliance with Ted was a good move for you this week.
Oooh, looks like winning the reward challenge hurt you big time, and the worst move actually came from your wife! Yikes! Unfortunately, there are some players that consider the game of Survivor as a form of the United Way, and don't think you deserve to win even if you play the game in an outstanding way if you can afford to use the money to go to Fiji. You were holding your cards tight to your chest, but your wife, unfortunately may have spilled the beans for you.
The final shadow for one of New York Police Department's finest, Ken, and we will miss his chiseled features and ARRESTING personality. The episode started with the 3 remaining Sook tribe members heading back to the common camp after voting off Erin. Jack and Penny were sniffeling over the thought of losing their friend Erin, but Ken was downright distraught and NYPD BLUE that he had forgotten to given Erin a "goodbye grope" and now he has missed his chance to bid farewell to Erin and her "assets." Ken, you forgot to COP a feel.
Best Move Ken showed his physical dominance over the rest of the survivors with his performance in the first part of the immunity challenge. He ruled the obstacle course and Ken really LAID DOWN THE LAW when it came to speed and agility. Unfortunately this was a two-part challenge and Ken displayed ARRESTED development when it came to the mental aspect of following directions to dig up buried markers, and beefy Ken got his ass kicked by Clay, who displayed a superior ability to follow directions. A warning to any New York City residents who may encounter Ken while he's on the beat, be sure to remind him that it is "Freeze, dirtbag, don't make me shoot" and not "shoot first, ask questions later."
Worst Move: After a tribal merge where every immunity will be based on individual performance, making a strong showing and finished second is never a smart move. What does Ken do, he tries to COP a plea with Clay and Helen to try to get them to vote with the former Sooks and oust Ted. It didn't pan out and Ken was voted out by all of the former members of the Chewy tribe. While that voting strategy may have been viewed by the Sooks as a COP out, the only COP OUT tonight was Ken.
Thank you to everyone who contributed to this article.