Ah'm hap'ier than a zawmbie eatin' frad brines. Rooport jined ahr taym. Ah'm a-lovin' it. He brawt us sum feeyush which he gawt wit' his spayer. Ah'll tell y'alls--Ah wuz a tad bit consternayted. Naw, thass not whot y'all think it mayns. Ah've been to Holmes Comoonitay Clodge of Funereal Surfaces. Bein' tuh clodge an' all, Ah know sum matty fan vocapillary words. So stick that fahv dahller word in yer pocket.
Naw, bafore we slected Rooport tuh jine us, an' whal Ah wuz sleepin' th' day awhy, Anjool an' Reno wen' tuh th' cove, but they'ze gawt lost. We didn' 'ave any feeyush that nat, an' Ah wuz ready tuh perfarm a self-awtawpsy--Ah wuz that consternated (an' that other thang too). Anywhy, Treeyush caym tuh steal sumthin' an' she tuhk ahr layntern. It don' work. Y'all wanna know why? In one of Anjool's hallucinayshuns, he trahd tuh fry up that puppy, got cookin' ohl ev'rywhere. Awster stawpped 'm bafore he'da eatin' ahr freakin' layntern.
We gawt feeyush today--not lahk th' frad catfish mah momma mikes, but Ah wuz starvin'. Ah ate a whole feeyush, feeyushbawnes an' all. Ah ayven gawt to gut mah own feeyush, which remahnded me of school.
Ugh! Jon is such a dirty, Hokie, traitor. OH, wait, scratch the Hokie part.... I can't believe we really trusted him and then he screwed us over. And to vote out BURTON of all people? Without Rupert *and* Burton, there's no way we're going to win the reward challenge tomorrow. And besides, I really liked having Burton around. Ever since the day he shared the coconut milk with me, we'd been having alot of fun. We even played our secret game, 'show me your coconuts, I'll show you my tiki torch.' I don't think it's going to work without him.....Gosh, this was the worst plan ever, and the worst part is I *still* have to compete with Christa in the 'Battle of the Tiny Tube Tops.' *sigh* Who knew this Survivor thing would be so confusing?
Life on Drake has taken quite a turn. Rupert didnít appreciate Burton and I criticing his skirt ensemble, but we were just trying to help him out. The guy can NOT pull off a mini with a butt like that. Once we won the sewing machine, Rupert created himself a longer skirt. After all, if you arenít blessed with good looks and perfect physiques like Burton and I are, you may as well cover up!
Winning challenge after challenge started to wear on us a bit so Burton decided to approach Rupert about throwing the immunity challenge. Rupert was not on board, likely just jealous that HE didnít think of the idea himself, but he came around and decided to sit out the IC. We knew that weíd vote out one of the girls and I wanted to get Christa out since she gave me the heebie jeebies with all her questions about my ancestry and what not. I had a change of heart at TC though and decided to vote out Burton. Itís too important to the tribe that I be the cutest one on the island and Burton was getting dangerously close. Have you seen those lashes and that thick mane of hair?
Well, I'll be hornswaggled. I never wanted ta throw that challenge, no sir. Dumbest thing a pirate's done since Captain Jack Sparrow put on eye liner, that was. I refused ta take part - quittin' just isn't in me bones. I blame Burton fer gettin' the Drake crew in this fine mess. That feller is as annoyin' as a barnicle on a whale's hindquarters. If we'd just gone about our business, we'da won another challenge and Morgan'd be down to four in their motley crew. Instead, Drake had ta send someone 'ome tanight, and I don't even know who, 'cause I'm stuck in this Godfersaken "sleepin' facility" the Morgans call 'ome. An' tamorrow I've got to compete with this scurvy-ridden lot. Sometimes I wish quittin' was in me bones, 'cause with me on their side, Morgan's goin' ta win.
I just hopes that when I get back to me fellows, the crew hasn't mutinied on me. And with any luck atall, Burton'll be sleeping in Davey Jones' Locker. Arrrrr...
I have to admit, the last few days seemed to be nothing but a continuation of the problems we have had all along. It wasnít bad enough that we were losing challenges left and right, no, the ocean had to attack us too. The tide is rising higher each week, so at some point we might lose this battle. Sure we could have moved the shelter, but I convinced the tribe that beachfront property is worth more than jungle lots, so we are going to tough it out. I think it was Martha Stewart who said, ďIf life gives you lemons; then corner the market on them, and screw over the small investor... oh, and whatís wrong with a few waves crashing into your sleeping area?Ē Iíd like to think the Morganís personify the philosophy. Besides, we have a pretty extensive shelter built, just look at it, and someday we might even get around to improving the floor.
All of our hard work, and my consistent efforts to keep the morale of the tribe up finally paid off with our win in the immunity challenge. I am a little suspicious of that win, as the Drakes sat out two strong competitors. However, I am just glad we didnít have to go to tribal council again, as it would be a touch choice between Darrah and Ryan. Obviously we canít consider voting out Osten, look how valuable he has been to our team in every challenge. He just needs a couple more pep talks and he will be back on track!
Iím starting to put it all together now. As much as Iíve been wanting to blame Andrewís less-than-stellar leadership abilities for our shoddy performance thus far in the game, that isnít the whole story. No, whatís probably hurting us worse is our mind-numbing, jaw-dropping, so-exasperating-I-want-to-start-beating-people-with-shoes-if-only-they-hadnít-been-stolen stupidity. Despite my obviously brilliant performance at the Reward Challenge, we didnít win. Why didnít we win? Because weíre a group of babbling idiots who oughtnít be allowed to fend for ourselves at the Four Seasons, much less a desert island. Osten chose to find one of the underwater puzzle pieces, despite the fact that he canít swim worth a damn. Stupid. Tijuana cut in front ofÖDarla? Daria? Whatever that girlís name is, even though she had no map and no clue where to go. Stupid. I did everything I could to get us back in it, but by then it was just too late.
At least we won immunity. Did Drake throw the competition? I donít know and I donít care. I guess the sun even shines on a rhinoís butt some days. And usurping Grizzly Rupert from Drake can only mean good things for us. Iíll put off my coup plans for another week. Itís tough to overthrow a regime when you havenít eaten or slept in days.
Iím tired of eating rice. I mean rice is a side dish, not a main staple. And the rice weíve been eating is like eating paste. We need to get fish and we need to get it soon if we want to win these challenges. I tried my darndest at the Reward Challenge but I accidentally forgot to take the goggles with me. Who knew ocean water would be so hard to see in? My top also fell off along with my skirt riding up. I guess Osten got a little peak at what our honeymoon will look like. Yeeaaaaah right, in his dreams. Luckily we got Rupert on our side for the next day, so maybe he can help us with catching some fish. And Darrah, dear Darrah. Our token mute still hasnít been talking much, and when she does, I cannot make a single word out of what she is saying. Thankfully Iím the female still holding a strong position in this tribe.
Bah! Screw the tribe! I'm sick of all the stupid bickering - no one can even sleep in a little late for all the noise! And let me just say, Jon is annoying. He is. He's stupid. But he seems to be on my side, so I'll use him while I can. We won the reward challenge and got our last piece of the map to the treasure. After finally finding it and opening the lid, you can't imagine the rank and foul odor that thing put off. I thought we'd find a dead body at the bottom! But we got some chocolate, so I'll deal with the smell of death.
We ended up throwing the IC, which resulted in us losing Rupert for a while, which sucked, but at least we got rid of that jerkoff Burton. I decided to keep it low this week and not get in anyone's face about throwing the challenge. Every now and again, I figure I'll just go with the flow and complain to myself about how stupid everyone is. And they are stupid. All the bickering... grumble grumble...
Man oh man were these past few days about me or what? I laughed my butt of at Osten in the water. What a sissy. I on the other hand am such a good swimmer I made him and Sandra look foolish. When we put together the puzzle I was out of my element, but I donít think anyone noticed that I kind of put my hand on pieces as they were being slipped into place. I am so damn cool. The treasure turned out to be better in my dreams. Now Iím disappointed because I wonít be having any more ďBetter than Playboy modelĒ wet dreams. It never turns out as good as it should for me.
Iím going to finish up that great joke one day soon. Knock KnockÖ whoís there?Ö.Tree mailÖ Tree mail who? See, I have most of it.
I also kicked butt in the Immunity challenge and everyone listened to me when I pointed where to go. Of course, at that point I was under the impression we were trying to win, so luckily we were still able to goof up enough to lose.
Got a good buzz goiní after the IC and everyone was laughing at with me again. Even my impersonations and nature run had everyone in stitches.
Jeff thinks heís so smart calling me out for being buzzed. I know he must have seen footage because I was playing it so cool. No way he could have known. Then he tried to trip me up with my remark about the astrological signs. Has he always picked on the ones he likes best? I know heís got to respect my game playing and sense of humor. Everyone else does.
It has been a tough few days here at the Drake camp. There has just been a funky mood with clashes off and on and I really think it is stinking up the group's morale. Shawn, Michelle and Burton clicked up right away and alienated everyone else. One of them will have to pay for that pretty soon. At the reward challenge I had a tough time digging up my puzzle piece. The waves kept rolling in and recovering it with sand. Drake lost some time but regained it and won the sewing booty anyway. We all need new clothes and none of us can wait to find our treasure. I was sent to loot Morgan. I got their lantern and they did not believe me when I told them we had thought about taking nothing this trip. What a bunch of Grumbly Gusses. We lost the immunity challenge and Rupert had to go home with Morgan. Rupert is not going to like it over there. They have nothing and the attitude to match. I never thought I would say I liked voting someone off, but Burton had to go. Shawn or Michelle next?
I just have no connection with Shawn and Michelle and Burton. They are always speaking really slowly to me, like they think I have a concussion or something. Luckily, I got to sit out the Reward challenge again. Thatís whatís so great about this team, sitting out the challenges. I was just as happy to sit on the sidelines and work on my kewl braids. Hey we got a sewing machineas a prize! Rupert and I set out to make some nifty new skirts( well it was mostly Rupert ). I wish Panama Barbie and the twin Ken dolls would stop picking on my buddy. Losers. Oh well ,then we got to search for, and dig up the treasure. Lots of fun, but no chips in the stash Ė er treasure. Bummer. When I saw the immunity challenge this week, I thought it was more swimming. It was mostly walking. (yay!) I kept walking on those beams, till that little person who says she sees dead people cornered me. She started to wrestle me , but hey thatís so not my thing. I donít even care that she walked right over and won the challenge, because we got to dump one of the know it allís, Burton. I was really wondering about the other votes that had my name on them though. Must have been a joke, since I know everyone loves me.
As bad as we're suffering now, can you imagine how much worse it would be if I weren't around? I mean, it's obvious that I'm the strongest one out here. I'm giving it my all, even at the expense of a physical breakdown, or the possibility of getting blood in my lungs. No pneumonia yet, thank god, but I can feel it lurking around every corner. I really shouldn't have dropped out of swim class in elementary school. My teacher said it would come back to haunt me, but I figured she was just saying that, like math and shelter-building. At least we finally won a challenge. Did you see the way I barely touched Michelle, and she practically dove in the water? Wouldn't you if you saw these guns staring back at you? Damn straight. Like my friends say back home, I've got Osten Powers.
What are those idiots thinking voting me off? Me? We threw that Immunity Challenge so we could get rid of Christa and not have to listen to her annoying voice (does she have a terminal cold or what?) anymore. We didn't throw it to get rid of me! Seriously, I don't know how this team is going to survive without me. I mean, I helped us win all the challenges (well, except the one I sat out...stupid, stupid plan). I helped around the camp. I helped keep the morale of the tribe up (especially the female members of the tribe, since I always walked around without my shirt and everyone knows how darned good-looking I am). Why was I the one that got the boot? Oh well, I don't know how these guys are going to make it without me around. I'm disappointed, but hey, no more living on the beach and having to see Rupert in a skirt for me...I'm going to
Standing in the Shadows" is a weekly collaborative effort. Thanks to: AmandaG, Bill_in_PDX, Bumpkin, Cali, Eny, Feifer, Greenie, John, KylieGrant, Lobeck, Miss Filangi, Paulie, Shayla, Wayner, and Zhora!