Survivor 7 Preview: The FORT Writers Speak - Drake
With only a few days remaining until the premier of Survivor: Pearl Islands, the FoRT writers decided to give their thoughts on the players. This week we'll look at the Drake Tribe. Next week, we'll look at Morgan.
I hope you enjoy!
Burton Robert, 31, single, Marketing Executive, San Francisco CA
Eny says: When I saw this Texas eye candy, I was reminded a bit of dear Colby. Then I found out he was a MBA. Not a fun loving group in general. He ALMOST cracked a face expression when he was speaking about how exciting it would be to be on Survivor. He has that Hunter vibe about him, that he thinks he’s superior. At but least he has a game plan.
cali says: Being an Eagle Scout may help him… of course he’s not on the same tribe as the Troop Leader, so it may not help him at all. A degree in Philosophy… reminds me of the Simpson’s scene: Unemployment Office Worker “Now we’re getting useful people, instead of just Philosophy majors”. He’s one day away from having the Perfect Birthday, and he is an Aries, so I think he’ll do great. I’ll even forgive him the fact that he likes the show Jackass. We’ll see him POST MERGE for sure.
Wolf says: Oooooo...I like this guy. He’s cute, and he has an adventurous spirit. He's a Cowboys fan. Gotta love that! I'm sure this tough guy will tackle anything that comes his way. Others will see him as a physical threat, but I think he will overcome that and go far.
Bill_in_PDX says: This guy lists himself as an “adventure racer” twice in his bio. What the heck is an adventure racer? Someone probably told him that was a good way to get dates. He also has an MBA from Kellogg School of Management, which he claims is one of the top business schools in the world, and here I thought it was where they made the cereal. He owns five Texas longhorns, and I am guessing he will be hungry enough to eat one or two of them when he makes it to the merge. He may say “Let’s depreciate those banana’s over the next fiscal year” before it is all over.
Sher says: Burton is a Texas boy at heart, and I have to root for the Texans! However, I’m a little worried about a guy that is 31 years old believing that his days in Eagle Scouts will help him survive in the Pearl Islands. Plus, he’s a computer geek and I’m guessing that despite his list of outdoorsy hobbies, that the most adventure he gets is actually while sitting in front of his PC while playing Warcraft III. I’m going to have to wager that Burton will last a while, but won’t have what it takes to get him to the finals. I also foresee him forming a friendship with Trish, though he'd prefer to be close to Christa.
Miss Filangi says: Burton Seems to be the next Colby or the next Alex, depending how arrogant he ends up. A guy's guy, for sure. Will likely do well
Paulie says: Burton describes himself as “a marketing executive for a start-up tech company in the video gaming industry.” This tells me he received a Master’s in BS from “one of the top business schools in the world.” He has a lifetime of experience in hosing others down with random catch phrases and meaningless double talk. He will rapidly construct a loyal alliance of admiring sycophants who have no idea what he’s saying but enjoy hearing the speed of his words and the passionate tones in his voice. He’ll win the game 7-0, and others will beg him to take their share of the money, as well.
John says: Burton has a good combination of country bumpkin and educated professional. He seems pretty well-rounded and well-spoken. I envision him becoming the lynchpin in a strong alliance, and riding it to the final four. He may be deemed a threat, though, in which case he can pack the clothes on his back and get outta Dodge.
Christa Hastie, 24, Engaged, Computer Programmer, Los Angeles CA
Eny says: What more can I say about her than smoking gun already has? Self indulgent and uncompromising comes to mind. We all know how that turns out. Oh wait, who won last time? Ahhh, that was an aberration. Whew , I scared myself for a moment.
cali says: After reading the news on Christie, phrases taken from her “bio” take on a new meaning and/or make you wonder: She believes in diving into any and all opportunities, and she worked as a lifeguard while in college… that’s a scary thought. She is delusional if she thinks her cooking skills will help keep her in the game. If there is no food to cook, and no spices to cook with, no one is going to like her food any more than anyone else’s. I give her credit for knowing that The Amazing Race is a great show, but take the credit away after learning she like Martha Stewart’s Living. She’ll be gone before the merge. Absolutely.
Wolf says: Christa is not afraid to get dirty being that she wants to join her fiancee’s pit crew. Her pitfall could be her strong character that I imagine she showed during her run-in with the law. She might be the confrontational type, so I think she’ll be kicked out soon.
Bill_in_PDX says: Christa – Is a computer programmer from Ojai, California. That was Jamie Sommers, the Bionic Woman’s hometown you know. Jamie went through quite a spell where her body rejected the introduction of artificial chemical and materials into it. Christa on the other hand, if we can believe the reports, seems to have no opposition to the introduction of chemicals into her body. She is engaged to a race car driver. See Burton, racers do get the babes! She will likely lose a key immunity challenge for the tribe early on when she gets distracted by licking toads. The tribe will boot her out. She may say “What if your blue, is different than my blue?” before it is all over.
Sher says: Christa wants her crystal meth. She’ll be sniffing shellfish before week one is over. I see her buddying up with Jon, wandering off to find something to smoke or some groovy shrooms and getting lost early in the game. My guess is that she and Jon will be voted out first and second.
Miss Filangi says: I'm already sick of hearing about her and the show hasn't even started. Everyone I hate seems to go very far, so I'm sure she'll stick around.
Paulie says: One of the most exciting things about Christa is not that she’s blonde and worked as a lifeguard for four years. Nor is it that she has the hearts of computer nerds everywhere racing with her professed “hobbies” of developing websites and playing with databases and so forth. No, it’s the fact that she considers herself to be “chameleon-like.” This is truly an amazing skill and one never before seen in Survivor. Consider the power she’ll wield at Tribal Council when she seems to completely disappear. By blending effortlessly into her background – say by becoming a tree-stump Tribal Council stool – she will be completely impossible to vote for because how do you vote for someone you can’t see? Using her incredible chameleon powers, she will cruise easily to the Final Two and reveal herself just in time to win the grand prize.
John says: Christa is a freak, plain and simple. From her cokehead past to her dreaming of infinite loops, she's a total fruitloop. I hope the rest of the tribe realizes it quickly, or grows as tired of her voice as I have, and boots her early.
Jon Dalton 29, Single, Art Consultant, Danville VA
Eny says: Robb dyed his hair and got a libido .Is more interested in sex than the game. Remember how that other blonde curly top Gabriel only wanted to observe the game? This one just wants to observe the babes. I expect this dude to be out checking out the local brothels pre merge.
cali says It would be nice to want to like the guy representin’ Virginia, but after reading his bio I feel compelled to tell people I was actually born in Maryland. I don’t see him making it far, but find his choice of snack food interesting: <u>Foods Pirate's Booty</u>. Could he have known? He lists “Girls” as a hobby, a term I would hope he’d be smart enough not to use in front of the girls he’s sharing the island with. Of course he DID use it for millions of people to read, so when he says he’s “smarter than the average bear” I have to wonder if he knows just how smart bears are. Gone Pre Merge.
Wolf says: This Gabriel (S4) look-alike Hugh Hefner wannabe won’t last. He’ll try smooching with the girls to advance in the game, but I think he'll fall flat on his face.
Bill_in_PDX says: Jon – Describes himself as sharp, quick, and amazing! He also worked with pro wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper. Jon’s extremely diverse employment background could be an asset to his chances, but I am going on out a limb and assuming that his diverse background and constant movement is due to running from the guys who used to chase the A-Team. He will last to the merge. He might just say “Dude, where is my car?” before it is all over.
Sher says: Jon has that Robb thing going on from Survivor: Thailand. Which means he’ll be voted out pretty early on, and his tribemates will like him more once he’s gone.
Miss Filangi says: His hero is Hugh Hefner, he loves wrestling and he's a sk8r boi. Seems like a serious threat, dude. Did we not suffer enough with Robb?
Paulie says: Don’t let Jon’s horrible taste in hats fool you. Don’t be blinded by his penchant to say stupid things that he thinks are funny. This man has an ace in the hole. He once worked with Rowdy Roddy Piper, the big wrestler guy. The fact that he escaped that job with no permanent scars or visible bruising speaks volumes to his ability to cruise through life and avoid being attacked by dangerously strong people, even when he annoys them. We must conclude that at some point in his employment with Mr. Piper, he said something idiotic. That seems to be his gift. But he appears to be able to recover gracefully from being a moron, and that’s a credit to him. He’ll trip through the game, insulting everyone and drooling on the women. People will fail to vote for him for no real reason they can explain. He’ll win by default and all the other Survivors will kick themselves for years afterwards.
John says: Jon is this season's Robb, but with only one final consonant. The hat's already annoying me, and his happy-go-lucky attitude will drive me totally insane. But I have a feeling that below his "surfer-dude" style is a keen backstabbing dealmaker. He might surprise us all and go pretty far, especially if he can convince the Christas of the tribe to stick with him.
Michelle Tesauro 22, Single, Student, Pittstown NJ
Eny says: This kid is channeling Elizabeth and Colleen . She is a definite candidate for S7’s Survivor sweetheart. I hope she goes far, as I’m tired of the nasty bitchy types hogging all of the air time. Plus she’s a Jersey girl.
cali says There is something about Michelle that I like. She describes herself as clumsy and athletic. What a great combo. She also listed “stunting” as a favorite activity. What is that? Her favorite color is green, and she likes soccer. I am waiting to see what The Smoking Gun finds out about her, as she seems like a great girl. I see her lasting past the merge, and depending on alliances she may make it to the final 3.
Wolf says: Michelle could be this Survivor’s sweetheart. Even though she’s nerdy looking in that picture, she an athletic girl. I predict she’ll fly under the radar and as long as she makes it past the first week without puking, she’ll make it to the Final Four.
Bill_in_PDX says: Michelle – Her hobbies are gymnastics, stunting, and reading. Stunting? I have no idea what stunting is. I guess it could be smoking a lot, or at least that is what my grandpa always told me. Or, it might be re-enacting those Jackass stunts at home, in which case you get what you deserve. Michelle is a favorite of mine, and I hope she goes far, but I don’t think so. She might say “This one time, at band camp…” before it is all over.
Sher says: I think beneath that meek exterior, Michelle has the makings of a real whiner. She may not be as obvious as Jenna in Survivor: Amazon, but there’s a cheerleader underneath just waiting to whine its way out. However, I think Michelle is going to last awhile. She’s going to be the little kid that the rest of the tribemates view as a little sister or a daughter and therefore, they will try to protect.
Miss Filangi says: Probably the Survivor that seems the most likeable on paper. Gotta love a girl that doesn't take herself seriously and takes the Polar Bear plunge each year.
Paulie says: Ah, another contender for the throne of “Favorite Cutie.” The strategy of being sweet to everyone in the game and always looking your best never seems to pan out. The other players immediately assume that they can’t defeat a really nice young woman who looks perky and pleasant in her swimming attire. But after six series of Survivor, it may be time for the other players to reconsider that line of thinking. No young woman has ever won the game before by being a genuinely kind person so why not bring her along to the finals so you can prove to the world that pretty young sweethearts can’t win the game of Survivor? Someone in the game will pursue this train of thought and bring Michelle with them to the finals as their pawn, at which point they’ll find out that, yeah, everyone was right. You can’t beat a sweetheart. 4-3 Michelle.
John says: Michelle is a sweetheart. I'm sure she'll regale the tribe with stories of this one time, at band camp, and endear herself to them. She's also athletic, smart, and cute. Seemingly the perfect package. But we all know what happened to Hunter Ellis, don't we? Look for her to be an early boot, unfortunately, and hosting "Stunt Cheerleading Nationals on Fox" next year.
Rubert Boneham 39, Married, Troubled Teens Mentor, Indianapolis, IN
Eny says: Ok, if they cast girls who look good in bikini’s, they cast Rupert to be the pirate. Looks the part and as a counselor, can deal with tough situations with a cool head. They even show him swimming in a swamp, so the gross factor doesn’t apply here. I say he makes merge anyway
cali saysTo me Boneham just sounds like a pirate name. Add that to the fact that he looks like a pirate and he seems like a fitting winner. He likes the Simpsons and Classic Rock. What a great guy! His occupation may come in handy and help him make it to the end. He is my pre-show favorite and I see him as a Million Dollars richer.
Wolf says: Rupert looks a lot like Hagrid from Harry Potter. Sounds like he's a man of many talents. His grave digging, bartending, nursing skills will take him far in the game as long as he manages to keep his clothes on (as we saw in the previews).
Bill_in_PDX says: Rupert – This guy looks like he will be the star of the show. His last name is Boneham… can you imagine what it would be like to grow up as a young boy with that name. He is a teen counselor, which will help with this group. Previously he was a grave digger and a bartender, which is really the same job if you think about it. He will go far, and he should make the final four. He may say “Christa, shut the hell up!” before it is all over.
Sher says: Rupert is too scary to vote out. Based on nothing other than that fact, I predict Rupert will find himself in the final 4.
Miss Filangi says:Anyone think his tribe mates will wake up in the middle of the night and freak out because Bigfoot invaded their tribe? Seems like a great guy to have on your team though. I hope terrifies Christa.
Paulie says: Now here’s a real competitor. Apart from possessing the almost inhuman strength of being able to communicate with teenagers (and troubled ones at that), Rupert is a former gravedigger and a coin collector. Absolutely brilliant. The man knows exactly how to position himself for maximal success. What better way to secure old coins for your collection that to haul them out of the pockets of really old dead people? I can just picture ol’ Rupert out late at night with his metal detector, sweeping the graves of the oldest and wealthiest corpses. And so what if the night watchman catches him? He’s a gravedigger, for crying out loud. He’s supposed to be mucking around down there in the mud. This guy is sharp. And watch out, Hollywood. He was also a bartender, which immediately tells us he has designs on an acting career. Count on him to win the game and then win a big part on the silver screen, possibly as the next James Bond.
John says: Rupert - how can you NOT love a guy named Rupert, who spent a couple of years following the Grateful Dead and now counsels children in need? Especially when he looks like a guy you wouldn't want to meet up with on a lonesome road at night. If he proves that he can move his bulk around competitively, he just might last. He obviously knows how to deal with emotionally fragile people, which describes most of this year's cast.
Sandra Diaz-Twine 29, Married, Office Assistant, Ft. Lewis, WA
Eny says: Served in the army as a chemical repair specialist. Not a job for the faint hearted. I don’t get any vibe at all from this one . Could fly UTR for a bit.
cali says She really likes her Mom. Gotta love that about her. Really, that’s all I can think of to say. She likes Denzel, meaning she has good taste in men, but she also likes Julia, meaning she has bad taste in women. There is nothing in her bio that makes me see her as a stand out. From commercials she looks confrontational, and I don’t see her making it past the merge.
Wolf says: She’s a tough little G.I. Jane. Helen from S5 comes to mind. She could make a good soldier for perhaps, Shawn. Hmmm...this could be a repeat of S5.
Bill_in_PDX says: Sandra – Former Army gal, now working on base in Washington. Hopefully she didn’t bring any invisible beef jerky. She likes fishing and camping. If that translates into getting food for the tribe, she will stick around for a while. Otherwise she could be an early target. She could say “Drop and give me 20!” before it is all over.
Sher says: Sandra is going to be voted out early on in the game. She just sounds kind of soft, despite the fact that she might have made it through Army bootcamp at some point. Plus, I think she’s going to be so homesick for her kids, that she’ll be voted out by the others, leaving them claiming, “I think she wanted to leave. She missed her kids. We did her a favor.”
Miss Filangi says: I can see Sandra being fairly quiet and invisible. This means she could stay UTR for a long time or be an early boot. She should be well respected for her military career though
Paulie says: Do not get in the way of this young woman! She is a walking cliche about drive and determination. I mean, she literally got her start in the mailroom. That’s what it says. After that, she fought her way through another job nobody else wanted: chemical repair specialist in the U.S. Army. Don’t really know what that means, but I’m thinking she was in charge of Super Gluing things back together when they broke. You know, the general’s eyeglasses, the latch on the stockade door, that sort of thing. And now she’s a senior office associate, which undoubtedly entitles her to boss around all the junior office associates. Sandra’s been in the trenches. She knows how to talk to the little people to get things done. And if that doesn’t work, she’s probably great at yelling at them and chewing them out. She’ll put these terrific skills to use in this game, and her manic drive to the top will simply churn everyone else into dust. The others will beg to be allowed to vote for themselves, just to avoid the firestorm of rage they’d encounter by crossing her. She’ll win unanimously.
John says: You know, I really liked Sandra, until I saw her Early Show appearance. She told me that she doesn't like people talking about her behind her back, and will confront those who she suspects of doing it. Alicia did the same thing, and I don't think Sandra has the guns to back up the finger-wagging-in-the-face stunt. I look for her to be an early boot. Maybe even before they hit dry land.
Shawn Cohen 29, Single, Advertising Sales, New York, NY
Eny says: Looks good on paper , but watch his audition and you’ll see he’s as shallow as they come. He says he’s charismatic and a good salesman. Why does he remind me of Brian lite? No porno has showed up yet... I don’t think he’ll blend with the crowd.
cali says Hmmm, his family says he is the “ultimate salesman”. We’ve had one of those on Survivor, and he did rather well. If he can sell himself just right, he may make it to the end. As shallow as it is, I don’t get a good vibe from his publicity still, and there is something in the smile that is rather smarmy. If his tribemates view him this way too, he is in trouble.
Wolf says: He describes himself as a charismatic ultimate salesman. I think he could go to final 4 if he uses his cut-throat skills that he picked up from those mafia movies he loves. He could even be the ultimate Survivor. Brian Heidik (S5), anyone?
Bill_in_PDX says: Now living in Hollywood (uh oh… looking for a career?) he just started his own business. Friends and family describe him as the ultimate salesman, so I assume he will be selling beachfront lots to his fellow competitors for their clothes. Will he be as masterful as the last salesman Brian? I doubt it. I think he makes it to the merge and then gets booted for being too big a threat to everyone else. He is a twin, so no doubt his brother will be the guest for the family episode. He might just say, “What’s it gonna take to get you to drive home this palm tree today?” before it is all over.
Sher says: Shawn is going to be around for quite awhile. I foresee him taking the tribe leader role, but not being faulted for doing so. I think he’ll make the final 4. Besides, he’s cute. I wouldn’t mind having him around for awhile.
Miss Filangi says: Shawn seems like he enjoys being the alpha-male. Those are always so much fun. :rolleyes If he manages to be a team player, he'll last for some time.
Paulie says: All hail “The Ultimate Salesman.” That’s what Shawn calls himself. Anybody who can boldly make that claim and continue to smile as broadly as he’s doing in his picture on the website has enough excess confidence to ladle out a spoonful to every man, woman and child in America and still feel pretty cocky. So why won’t people just turn on The Ultimate Salesman and eliminate him from the game right away? If somebody told you that the greatest salesman in the world was going to play this game with you, wouldn’t you want him gone? I’d be afraid that he’d talk me into voting off members of my alliance and I’d just do it because it sounded like such a great deal. Plus I bet The Ultimate Salesman could get everyone to throw their clothes into the bargain if he made it sound like a limited time offer. So, yeah, vote him off before he gets too powerful, right? Unfortunately for everyone else, he is The Ultimate Salesman. Get ready for a parade of naked people with smoking snuffed torches. A well-clothed and still beaming Ultimate Salesman will be the champ.
John says: Shawn is the ghost in the machine of the Drake tribe. I know almost nothing about him, and he is completely unremarkable in every way. The only thing I know about Shawn is that he either has a gigantic head, or he's in the habit of buying t-shirts with neckholes 3 sizes too large. If it's the gigantic head, he might be smart enough to go far. Otherwise, I look for him to mysteriously disappear around episode 3, and no one will miss him.
Trish Dunn 42, Married, Sales Executive, Annapolis, MD
Eny says: Tina, T-bird and now Trish. If you’ve lived through having twins, then you have endurance for anything. Good to go for the long haul, unless she starts reciting recipes. Nothing on earth can stop a soccer mom on a mission.
cali says She gets props immediately simply because she is from my home state. The fact that she gave birth to twins says something good about her, couple that with her love of running marathons, and …quite frankly I think we have our first insane person on Survivor. Kidding! But really, Running without some knife wielding maniac chasing you? What’s the point? She is the oldest person on her tribe, which could spell trouble, but seems to be athletic enough to make it for a few episodes. I like her and hope she goes far.
Wolf says: She seems like a sweet, motherly, and tough lady. However, she reminds me of Martha Stewart. She looks like the bossy type, and will put you in your place if you don’t follow her instructions. She’ll probably be one of the first ones voted out.
Bill_in_PDX says:Trish – Mom, bungee jumper, marathon runner, rock climber. This woman does it all. Now, the Survivor gods have a way of evening the tables on this type of thing, so it could be that she pulls a muscle the first day and is a complete non-factor, but I predict she has a lot of Tina in her, and could go to the final four. She is likely to say “I’ve studied everything Tina did to win… hey, Shawn, aren’t you a good boy?” before it is all over.
Sher says: Trish is going to be the type of person that rattles off recipes of delicious meals that you can’t have, infuriating other tribemates, but not so much as to voting her out. I think Trish will get to hang around awhile just from the sure fact that there are so many other members of the tribe that are going to be more annoying and less helpful. Trish is the kinda gal that will be sweeping the sand off the sandy camp floor.
Miss Filangi says: This woman is athletic! She will kick the butts of her younger female tribemates. Unlike some other older female survivors, she seems to have fewer she-devil tendencies and seems to be a survivor to watch.
Twenty-four marathons?!? She’s actually completed 24 marathons?! That’s...well, that’s 628.8 miles. There are probably people out there as old as me who haven’t walked 628.8 miles in their lifetime. This indicates strength. And stamina. And insanity. It’s that crazy edge about her that will be the secret weapon keeping her in the game. When the going gets tough – say, when that third vote comes up at Tribal Council – she can just...run. Who’s going to catch her and snuff her torch? I think you’ll start to see some real separation as early as Mile 3. The camera crew will be huffing along behind her, slamming their equipment into tree branches and tripping over large, sleeping snakes, but it will be of no use. On the bright side for Trish, anybody that spastic who’s still in the game has to have the respect of the more physically competent players around her. After winning the million dollars, Trish will generate even more ratings for the show by honoring Michael Skupin with her own (unplanned) dive into the fire
John says: Trish is Drake's "token older gal". As such, she'll probably be insane - a ukelele player, or a baby bayut burier, or something equally amusing for us. Unfortunately, she doesn't appear to be the kind of girl who can hold her liquor, and I look for her to be an early boot because of it
feel free to share your thoughts in this thread, or to PM individual writers.
I'd like to thank everyone who contributed to this article. Thanks!