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Thread: Signs you are a Survivor addict

  1. #1
    Premium Member sheela's Avatar
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    Apr 2003
    spoiler-free zone

    Signs you are a Survivor addict

    I thought it might be fun to update this S1 list.

    Signs You Are A “Survivor” Addict
    Here are some signs that you might have been a little too caught up in America's favorite TV show:

    Your neighbors find you digging for nightcrawlers in their flowerbed and you insist it's "just a midnight snack."

    Your cabinets are stocked with nothing but Minute Rice.

    You get a raise at work and before you know what you're doing, you're halfway through "The Richard Dance."

    You suspect that Aunt Betty and Grandpa George are forming an evil alliance against you.

    You hold a reward challenge to see who gets that extra large can of Alpo dog food.

    You start to realize that everything is just "a pain in the ass".

    You start shoveling dirt into the jacuzzi because you think your husband will look good covered in hot mud.

    Whenever you walk into the office, you start chanting the “Survivor” theme.

    You find yourself making a speech about snakes and rats at a board meeting.

    You call your wife on a cellular coconut.

    You tell your boss to "Get a liposuction and catch more fish."

    Every night before bed, you hold a tribal council to see which kid gets kicked out of the house.

    You get to the bookstore when it opens every day, hoping that Susan's "Redneck Road Kill Cookbook" has come in.

    You fill your entry hall with hot coals.

    Greg's Final Words actually start making sense to you.

    You scour the internet hoping *someone* has posted Colleen's phone number.

    Your son's hamster starts looking pretty tasty.

    Even though someone flat out tells you the answer to a question, five minutes later all you can say is "Uhh...I don't know."

  2. #2
    Premium Member sheela's Avatar
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    Apr 2003
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    Here are some of mine:

    You feel compelled to let your fingers crawl down over your chest to your abdomen every time you swallow.

    You strip whenever anyone waves a plate of peanut butter and chocolate in your face.

    You work 9-5 at your lousy job, but tell your boss you don’t really want your paycheck. Making great friends in the office is reward enough.

    You are not ashamed to admit that you have never been anywhere near a hot chick without a fistful of singles in your hand.

    Just before a huge layoff is announced at work, you tell anyone who’ll listen that you know that you are safe because you are the “mastermind”.

  3. #3
    Leo is offline
    Premium Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Here's a few:

    You start marking how many days you've been working at the office on the wall.

    You start sharpening knives, scissors, or other sharp objects you have lying around whenever you have nothing to do.

    You keep losing your balance whenever you're asked to walk on something narrow.

  4. #4
    can i have your heart? unexplained's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Let me try:

    You start talking about the contestants like they are your close acquaintances.

    You try setting out a fire everytime you encounter twigs and stones. (I do that at my gran's. )
    You select the person you want to be with, and then you let that person have the opportunity to select you. -Shayla

    "The mind is its own place, and in it, self can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n." -John Milton, Paradise Lost.

  5. #5
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    right behind you
    keep 'em coming folks!

    And Sheela, GREAT av
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  6. #6
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002

    I love these.
    Great job folks
    "That's Numberwang!"

  7. #7
    Evil Slash Crazy Miss Filangi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Looking for a place to happen
    You run to co-worker to co-worker trying to form an alliance and boost the 'bossy one'... your boss.

    You try to work in Rob's lastest one liners into your everyday conversation
    If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don't think it necessarily means you're a hard worker.
    It may just mean that you have a lot to learn about proper hammer maintenance.

  8. #8
    FORT Fan
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Just before you're about to send one of your kids to their room for a time out, you light a match infront of them, then snuff it out after saying:

    "[insert child's name here]...the tribe has spoken."

  9. #9
    Can They Do It?? mrdobolina's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    The Miami of Canada
    At work, you call staff meetings "TC" and lunches "RC"

    When there is a meeting in your office, you yell "Come on in, guys" as the meeting is about to begin

    You show up at work hung over, wearing only a speedo

    When taking a guided tour, you constantly refer to the guide as "Jeff" or "Probst"
    "You don't own a TV?!? What's all your furniture pointed at?" Joey Tribianni

    It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you.

  10. #10
    FORT Fogey
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Fantasy Land
    Oh these are great!

    Oh I wish I'd remembered some of Rob's lines, they really were great.

    And I love the contestant one, where you talk like they're your friends. Well...I do talk about them, but I don't think like they're my friends.

    Here's one: You've already begun the countdown to the start of Survivor Panama. (Well, once we know the date of the premiere,it will work.)

    Here's another: Whenever you encounter the smartest person at your work, you have the urge to make snotty rocket scientist jokes at them.

    If you're in a tournament of some sort and you lose the game, you have the urge to say that "we were voted out".

    Hm...I wish I could think of more, and those weren't the greatest, but my brain's kinda running slow right now.

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