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Thread: Paulie's Precaps - Episode 11: Tower Gates

  1. #11
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Re: Paulie's Precaps - Episode 11: Tower Gates

    Originally posted by Paulie

    Matthew’s head appears behind Christy’s shoulder. “She’s right, you know. You kept us in the game, and we won’t forget that.” Unnoticed by the others, the head drifts off, apparently in search of its body.
    Great job as always, Paulie.


    Welcome to the FORT, Thedoctor!

  2. #12
    Leo
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    The gray clouds solidify into Matthew’s upper and lower body. His face flushes red, and he grits his teeth. “Well. This is awkward,” he murmurs. “Can we turn off the electricity so I can get myself together? Please?” He pulls his torso down the ramp to the gate, which stops humming and pops open when he arrives. He swings his trunk around so it roughly aligns with his severed hips and legs. Then the entire middle half of his body briefly turns to smoke again before re-coalescing into a fully-formed Matthew. “Let’s just pretend we didn’t see that, OK, guys?” he asks Jeff and Heidi, who are suddenly holding one another and staring in fear at Matthew. They nod emphatically and wait for him to stand up and walk back down the ramp before letting go of one other and finally remembering to breathe.
    Absolutely priceless!

    These precaps never fail to amaze me.

  3. #13
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    As always, I loved the opening paragraph… and every detail you add in about Matt

    A couple more favorites:

    they glance at each other in confusion, a common exchange which can mean anything from “Are they making fun of us?” to “Today is Thursday.”


    Heidi nods. “I wouldn’t know a load of firewood if it hit me in the face.”


    Rob’s brow furrows. “No, I don’t think so. Deena and Dave were there, too, remember. It could’ve been one of them. Or Jeff. I saw him there, as well.”

    Heidi casts a confused look at Jenna as she slowly digests this new bit of information.

    Jenna nods tensely, sensing something’s not quite right about this situation.

    “Ooo, ouch!” Jeff calls out. “Keep your hands off those gates, folks!”


    “Well, that would be completely unprecedented,” Jeff says softly. “But if it’s OK with Christy for her to go instead of you, I think we can arrange something.” He pauses, then laughs evilly. “Give me a break, Princess. Bring me your torch NOW! You’re outta here!”
    Paulie, you are awesome


    Oh, Doctor, what News site were you on when you found Paulies Precap? Just curious
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  4. #14
    Oh YEAH!!! Aptly_Named's Avatar
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    Yet again, another amazing precap, Paulie!!! I love the imagery, especially describing Matthew.

    The four sunbathers stare quietly at the two young women. The fire pops loudly and resettles. A bird in a nearby tree questioningly offers up a few notes, then falls silent. Finally, Matthew clears his throat. “Yep, you’re right. Let’s go, guys.” His body completely rigid, Matthew swings to his feet like a rake that’s been stepped on.


    Matthew’s head appears behind Christy’s shoulder. “She’s right, you know. You kept us in the game, and we won’t forget that.” Unnoticed by the others, the head drifts off, apparently in search of its body.
    He swings his trunk around so it roughly aligns with his severed hips and legs. Then the entire middle half of his body briefly turns to smoke again before re-coalescing into a fully-formed Matthew. “Let’s just pretend we didn’t see that, OK, guys?” he asks Jeff and Heidi, who are suddenly holding one another and staring in fear at Matthew. They nod emphatically and wait for him to stand up and walk back down the ramp before letting go of one other and finally remembering to breathe.
    Well done!!

  5. #15
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    I wanna know how you got on the "Cheez-Its" path. I mean, they're great little cheese snacks, but it's just so.....random.

  6. #16
    Care for a jelly baby? TheDoctor's Avatar
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    Mmmmmmm.... Cheez-Its.

    Cali, to answer your question, I'm in the process of designing a portal site for our small ISP. We've been considering using the newsfeeds provided by Moreover - in fact, for non-commercial use, you can use them for free, I believe.

    I first discovered Paulie's postings when I was evaluating their "Entertainment: TV Shows" feed. In fact, you can see Paulie's precap in their current news listings! http://p.moreover.com/cgi-local/page...20shows%20news

  7. #17
    Care for a jelly baby? TheDoctor's Avatar
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    Thanks for the warm welcome, folks! I hope that I can be a good contributing member to the FORT, especially if/when The Amazing Race and The (real, as opposed to the sissy Celebrity) Mole start up again.

    Maybe I can even become as prolific as John! I'm off to a good start with my 3rd posting here, and I'm sure it won't take long to catch up with him. Wonder how many more posts I need to make? Let me just scroll back up here and WHAT IN THE BLUE BLAZES?!! FOURTEEN THOUSAND, TWO HUNDRED AND...AND...FOURTEEN THOUSAND?? JOHN ARE YOU INSANE MAN? FOURTEEN THOUSAND?? FOURTEEN THOUS....

    {cough...pant...pant...}

    Ok, ok. Ok. Whew! Never mind. Maybe I'll just post a few thoughts occasionally instead.

    14,228 posts! He's a machine!

  8. #18
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    He's a machine, but he's a distant second. Fluff is top dog poster 'round 'ese parts.

    And, John, if I told you how I got on the Cheez-Its path, it would ruin my mystique.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  9. #19
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    Paulie, the precap just gets better and better... Amazingly funny!
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  10. #20
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    Re: Paulie's Precaps - Episode 11: Tower Gates

    Originally posted by Paulie
    Jenna’s #4 comes up one more time than the unconscious Matthew’s #1. She nods serenely, as if she knew all along that she’d win. “I’d like to see my family member now,” she says.
    “Sure thing,” Jeff says. “Just a second.” He grins widely as he leans down and scoops up the fallen manila envelope. He opens the envelope and peers inside, riffling through its contents with one hand. “Aha!” he finally says. “Here we go.” He pulls out an 8x10 glossy photo of a boy who appears to be about twelve years of age. “That is your cousin, isn’t it?” he asks.
    Jenna nods tensely, sensing something’s not quite right about this situation. Jeff looks at his watch. “OK, you get 30 seconds to look at his picture, starting...now! I told you you’d get a chance to see a family member.” Jenna stares dumbly at the picture. Heidi cries tears of joy for her friend.
    Oh, if only, if only....

    Great job, Paulie! Very funny. Loved the bit about Matthew's bodyless head!

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