Welcome to the fourth edition of “Standing in the Shadows” for Panama: Exile Island! For those readers unfamiliar with it, each season our writers and mods “stand in the shadow” of a Survivor until their torch is snuffed. You get to read what we believe is really going on in the mind of each player. Without further ado. . . .
I am so hungry. These past three days have been really tough on me. My tribe lost the reward challenge and we lost our leader Terry to Exile Island. When we got back to camp I wanted to go into the shelter and lie on my bed and
crynap. Terry is the leader of this tribe and we need him around to tell us what to do and if it’s okay if we think and speak. At the Immunity challenge I was so happy to see Terry in one piece I wanted to cryyell in celebration but I contained myself. I am really disappointed in myself about the immunity challenge, I think I lost it for the team. I did not pour my water fast enough, I was trying to be slow and steady like my Grammy. The other team beat us by less than a second and I just wanted to go back to camp and cryhide. I pulled myself together though and decided I needed to take charge of this game. Sally did such a great job during the challenge I would hate to lose her, plus she is not too bad to look at. I think I can convince the guys to vote for Ruth Marie, she is not as strong a player and we need the strong in order to dominate after the merge.
Freakin' Aras. I have been trying everything to get him to notice me. I've been doing yoga, because you know, he's like all into that and stuff, so I thought maybe he would think I'm cool for doing it. At the very least, I thought he's appreciate that I'm bendy. Very, very bendy. Wasn't my downward dog sexy as hell? Freakin' Aras, worried about island work and crap. Shane wouldn't quit bitching about work either, but at least he was picking on someone else a bit for a change. Our tribe was killer in the challenges, and surprisingly Shane and I worked pretty good together. I got really excited after the one, and jumped on Shane and wrapped my legs around him. I hope Aras wasn't looking. It's pretty chill and all that we won both challenges. I will make the merge, and I will make Aras appreciate my bendy qualities. Mark my words!
*Snoooore Snnnk Snoooore* What? Huh? Y’all are working? Hmm. *Turns over on mat* Wake me for the challenge, yo. I might not be a powerful swimmer, but you’ll need me for the physicality of it. See? Yeah, I helped move those pieces around, so I am a team player…I don’t care what Danielle says. Wait…you want to do what with that kickin’ bathroom we won? Keep logs in it so they’ll stay dry? I got some logs to drop in there…but not firewood. Yeah, I’m gonna drop a duce in there straight away, and lose some weight at the same time. We won that bathroom, now lets use it. Hmmm…It might be time for another nap. As long as this tribe keeps winning immunity, I’m just not going to even worry about my place in the pecking order. I’ve argued enough in my career as a lawyer, now I’m just going to sit back, snooze a little, and let everyone else duke it out without me.
Whew! Talk about dodging a bullet! I was sure I was a goner at Tribal Council. Clearly, the guys were voting on looks this time and let’s face it: I win that contest hands down. I’m glad that I really kicked butt on the immunity challenge. That way, they can say they kept me because I’m a good competitor. I’ll miss Ruth Marie, but really, there was no contest. Now that it’s just me and all of the guys, I’m going to have to work hard to keep from getting voted out. Maybe if I get naked they’ll keep me around next time. I’m getting really sick of losing these challenges. If we don’t start winning, I’m going home no matter what I do. We definitely could have used that shower reward. Some of these guys are starting to get a little gamey.
My word is my bond. At least that’s what I told everyone aboard the space shuttle. If I say I won’t accidentally push the button that blows the airlock before you get your helmet and space suit on, well, darn it, I just won’t do it. It’s like I told Ruth Marie…If I tell you that you will remain one of this crew of five, you’re going to be part of this crew of five. I believe in her…well, enough to keep her until my guy alliance doesn’t need her anymore. She’s loyal, and will be more than happy to be the pawn in my and Terry’s game plan. Whoa! I just found out Terry now wants to keep Sally over Ruth Marie. His time on Exile Island must have really affected him. He’s talking crazy! This is going to look so bad on my honor record if I can’t convince the other guys to keep Ruth. I mean, I gave her my word, and that should hold up in this game of lying and back stabbing. She’s so loyal to us…Sally will flip faster than a dolphin in training. Well, I won’t vote for Ruth Marie, so at least I’ll still know that I kept my word. I’ll be keeping my eye on Sally though. She better stick with the men of La Mina.
I am most displeased. Yoyo! Hear me now! Oh Beloved, things started well, for I spent a glorious day slithering through the ocean, my years of yoga giving me the spine of an eel! I made S's, I did an underwater arabesque, and then Shane and I held hands before shooting upwards out of the water as if spout from a Whale! Ahhh....glorious! I was correct in convincing him to remain. *Yule Brenner laugh* And he must have certainly been joking when he stated he did NOT share the same number of years training for synchronized swimming. That warrior, he is a tricky, delightful one! But things did not remain well. No. For as we walked towards our domicile, my toes felt discord humming through the sand into my very essence. I arrived to find my lethargic teammates sleeping near a DEAD FIRE! *shriek* Ahh! Fire is the essence of life! I was cross. Because not only was the outer fire gone, but, more importantly, their inner fire was gone. Yoyo! You have alligned me with the most unstable! These eratic energies must be contained! And now I know why I'm here. I am here to guide them. To correct them. To lead. And I'm starting with Danielle. We may have won two challenges, but honing must take place! When all is said and done, I will whittle Courtney and Danielle as if made from the finest olive wood! All with the help of a tattooed, nimble, mermaid Warrior! Yoyo...your pulsating eye speaks to me now! It's all clear! And I thank you.
It’s great to know everyone in my tribe thinks I’m the man because frankly I am. That would be the man with the hidden immunity idol. I really need to thank Casaya. I’ll wait to do that until a strategic moment. With my military background, I’m used to this whole “Don’t ask, don’t tell” thing. Nobody flat out asked me if I found the immunity idol and I sure as hell didn’t tell. There’s a reason I was successful in the military. I’m good at solving puzzles. Heck, getting all three clues to work with made it easy for me to find that butt ugly yet beautiful head that will save my ass later. Why oh why did I land on this island turned into "My oh my." No one should have thought I wouldn’t notice that tree was shaped like a “Y.” After all, I successfully completed fifty covert missions. After I found the idol, I decided to celebrate by busting some moves to “YMCA.” The Village People have nothing on me. Originally, I thought we should throw Sally under the bus because despite my individual success our tribe had a rough three days. Being a leader means you have to make the tough calls though. In the end, it only made sense that the member of my unit that had to go was Ruth Marie. It was for the good of the order.
Just when I thought these people couldn't get any worse! It's bad enough that Courtney spent all morning doing cartwheels or whatever the hell that was on the beach while we were gathering snails...but we get back to camp to find a dead fire and Danielle snoring away in the shelter! I was so pissed off (I wonder why Aras took the machete away from me?) that I had to call her out. I don't care what she thinks, Aras and I run this tribe. I'm amazed that we won both challenges with lazy-ass people like this! I had to laugh when we exiled Terry. He's got to be in hell. Yeah, we've got La Mina right where we want them. Hey, where's my stump? I need to go do some thinking...and after Bobby got through with our new outhouse, I'm sure as hell not going in there!
Hey, I'm just glad I didn't get sent to
Bruce'sExile Island again! Let somebody else have a turn. It's nice to actually be with my tribe for a change, I know they missed me. Though I was getting to be on a first-name basis with a few of the animals on the island...but anyway. I'm sure Terry was miserable out there, I know I was! He couldn't have found the immunity idol...or did he? That look on his face when he came back worries me. Nah...if I couldn't find the idol with all of my wilderness training, there's no way he found it.
My strategy right now? Keep it calm and collected. I want to be the strong, silent member of the tribe. In fact, I might not talk at all- or do anything interesting. It’s cool that we didn’t win the reward challenge. I’m fine using leaves, but losing Terry for three days was awful. The tribe is pretty lost without him. When do we eat? When do we sleep? What happened to the fire? Why can’t I catch a damn fish? When we got to the immunity challenge, and Terry came back from Exile… I swear I was never so happy to see a dude in my life. We were sooo close to immunity! I didn’t spill a drop of that water, but we still lost. It sucks, man- we’re going to Tribal Council again, and another one of the lovely ladies is going home. Terry told me to vote for Ruth Marie, and I felt a little funny about that… but I voted for her anyway. Terry told me to, and he knows all, man. He’s taking me to the final 4.
Who do these nutcases think they are? Telling me I don't work enough. Humph. I work as hard as I can. You know, it's not easy carrying wood when all you're wearing is a tiny bikini top. Do I look like I want splinters in my boobs? I do what I can, but seriously, I also need my beauty sleep and time to work on my tan. And who are they to talk? Shane and Courtney are both insane. I should at least get points for being normal, even if I sit down a lot. I'm starting to think I made a mistake ganging up with these two. I mean, with an alliance like this, who needs enemies?
Phooey! I feel like I just got blindsided with the immunity idol Terry is hiding. Oh yeah, don’t think I didn’t know that. Who gets exiled to an island that holds the biggest trump card in the game and only spends a couple hours looking for it? I was considering tipping off Terry that I knew he had in hopes of him keeping me. I was suckered. I believed Dan when he said the other’s wanted me to align with them. It’s their loss. I really would’ve been loyal. Sally is going to turn at the first chance she can get.
I have a confession... I peed on the fire when the boys were off hunting, and made it look like those lazy-asses just let it go out while they were sleeping. Lawd, what a laugh I had over that one! Rest of the time I spent being vague and looking busy. They want to turn our new potty house into a wood house? Fine by Cirie. Bobby needs to drop the boys off at the pool? Also fine by Cirie. Mama is just gonna sit back and watch these bozos pick each other off one by one.
We would like to thank the following writers for contributing to this article: Dinahann, hepcat, lucy, Mariner, mrdobolina, shazzer, speedbump, SueEllenMishke, Suncat7, totoro, wayward and Yardgnome77