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Thread: Paulie's Precaps - Episode 1: Noise, Purses, Curls

  1. #11
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
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    “OK, fine. You guys can have your precious boys versus girls battle. That should be rich. Ladies, you are the Jaburu Tribe. Here’s the map to your camp. Get out of my sight. And Tambaqui, here’s your map. Get lost. I mean it.”
    I love it when Jiff gets all testy.

    Jenna is feeling very vulnerable. It suddenly appears that her outfit of a two-piece thong bikini, fishnet stockings, and stiletto heels may not be as effective a weapon as she’d hoped in the current tribal configuration.
    Woe, you're good Paulie, I think that was exactly her plan

    Roger laughs bitterly. “Maybe it’s your clothing,” he suggests, pointing to Dave’s plain black T-shirt which reads, “Welcome to Rocketscientistville. Population: Me.”
    My absolute favourite

    Well, the lay off hasn't dulled your keen sense of humour at all Paulie.
    An excellent recap.
    Very funny
    "That's Numberwang!"

  2. #12
    JR.
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    Drummer / Model JR.'s Avatar
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    I've missed these. Great job Paulie!

  3. #13
    It ain't easy being green Wayner's Avatar
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    Great job, Paulie. I started laughing almost right away and never stopped. The 3rd base coaching stuff was killing me!

    And here's what started the laugh-fest for me:
    I believe Survivor:Thailand has finished, just as I’d predicted it would.
    I love it when fortune tellers use lame predictions as evidence of their greatness!

  4. #14
    FORT Fogey
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    SEE!! pointing at all the other writers in the room! They have been starving for these pre-caps too! Ah Ha!!!!

    Now I am soooo full I need a nap!
    That was scrumptious Paulie!

  5. #15
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Wayner
    I love it when fortune tellers use lame predictions as evidence of their greatness!
    Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  6. #16
    Smiling again... Zhora's Avatar
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    OK, well, now that I have read Paulie's precap, I guess I'm ready for Survivor to start. Great job Paulie. I hope the first episode can live up to the spectacle your crystal ball has shown us.
    I’m haunted a little this evening by feelings that have no vocabulary and events that should be explained in dimensions of lint rather than words.
    -Richard Brautigan

  7. #17
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    In addition to the entire opening paragraph, and the instructions for the immunity challenge game, the following were my favorites.

    The whole thing was a blast to read Paulie


    Normally nocturnal, these Black Caimans have detected the sixteen panicked Americans aboard the two rickety vessels and have decided to tag along in order to, you know, see what happens.

    where they will later kick themselves (a fascinating sight)

    hoping he will announce a regrettable mix-up in locations before whisking them off to begin Survivor:San Diego.


    He pulls a crib sheet from his shirt pocket and scratches his head in puzzlement as he reviews it. At last, when the two tribes are formed, Jeff is scowling angrily at Roger. “You did that on purpose to make me look stupid. I won’t forget that. Wait till I get you in Tribal Council, Mr. Troublemaker!”

    It suddenly appears that her outfit of a two-piece thong bikini, fishnet stockings, and stiletto heels may not be as effective a weapon as she’d hoped in the current tribal configuration.

    “What’s the HCA?” Shawna asks.


    pointing to Dave’s plain black T-shirt which reads, “Welcome to Rocketscientistville. Population: Me.”


    Everyone grabs their ears in exaggerated Captain-Kirk-in-extreme-pain fashion.



    The other men nod in understanding before unanimously ejecting the pompous restaurant designer.
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  8. #18
    hellooooooo sher's Avatar
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    ah yes... paulie's precaps are back. and all is right in all the world! i've missed these!! thanks again for the laughs!!

  9. #19
    FORT Regular Amandra Lynn's Avatar
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    That was great, thanks for the laugh!!

  10. #20
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    Thanks for the great feedback, guys! I really appreciate it.

    And welcome to the FORT, Amandra Lynn!
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

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