+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: Pre-Season Points.

  1. #1
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    43,485

    Pre-Season Points.

    There follows a totally arbitrary and non-scientific assessment of the contestants for Survivor 6 : The Amazon.

    The points given in no way reflects their chances of progressing far or wining the game, but hopefully the article might raise a smile or two.


    The Men



    Name: Butch Lockley
    Age: 50
    Marital Status: Married
    Occupation: Middle School Principal
    Hometown: Olney, IL
    Luxury Item: School Banner
    Actresses: Julia Roberts

    Julia Roberts good taste violation –10
    He’s got spirit, yes he do bonus +10
    Solid choice of nickname bonus +5

    Total pre-season points +5



    Name: Alex Bell
    Age: 32
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: Triathlon Trainer
    Hometown: Los Angeles
    Luxury Item: Finisher Medal: 2001 Wildflower Triathlon

    Outdoor Activities: Jesse's Ass


    Lucky Jesse bonus +10
    Mike Boogie connection –15
    Potential S6 hunk +10

    Total pre-season points +5



    Name: Daniel Lue
    Age: 27
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: Tax Accountant
    Hometown: Houston, TX
    Luxury Item: Magnetic Rings


    Actresses:Jennifer Lopez

    Shii Ann comparisons sympathy bonus +10
    You’ll be Mr J-Lo one day, patience is a virtue bonus +5
    Luxury item, huh? Penalty –5

    Total pre-season points +10




    Name: Dave Johnson
    Age: 22
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: Rocket Scientist
    Hometown: Pasadena, CA
    Luxury Item: Sketch Book & Pencil

    Last summer, he pedaled across the United States with three friends for two months and only took three showers.
    He wants the $1 million and he's going to buy a new car and start his own beef jerky company when he gets it.

    Who framed Kel penalty –5
    What’s that smell penalty –5
    Not as dumb as he looks bonus +15

    Total pre-season points +5



    Name: Ryan Aiken
    Age: 23
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: Model & Actor
    Hometown: Ellicott City, MD
    Luxury Item: Baseball Bat & Ball

    Ryan Aiken is currently pursuing a career as a model and actor.

    “And the Oscar goes to…” Silas vibe –10
    Most likely to co-star with CC Heidik –5
    Hottie +10

    Total pre-season points –5



    Name: Matthew Von Ertfelda
    Age: 33
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: Restaurant Designer
    Hometown: Washington, D.C.
    Luxury Item: High School Wrestling Jacket

    In 1994, he successfully crossed the Darien Gap.

    Not what I call a Gap Guy, Will Kemp withdrawal penalty –10
    Would it kill you to smile penalty –5
    Someone warm up the Skupin memorial helicopter bonus +10

    Total pre-season points –5



    Name: Roger Sexton
    Age: 56
    Marital Status: Married
    Occupation: Vice President of Estimating
    Hometown: Valencia, CA
    Luxury Item: Dog Tags

    Sexton is currently a vice president of estimating at a major construction company.

    May all your leaves be free from holes, Rodger Bingham vibe +15
    Honorary Pappy English, loves his country award +5
    So you basically “guess” for a living then? strange career penalty –5

    Total pre-season points + 15



    Name: Rob Cesternino
    Age: 24
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: Computer Projects Coordinator
    Hometown: Wantagh, NY
    Luxury Item: Magic 8 Ball

    Man breasts penalty –5
    Josh Feinberg vibe –5
    You can laugh with him, you can laugh at him, twice the fun bonus +10

    Total pre-season points 0


    The Ladies





    Name: Hiedi Strobel
    Age: 24
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: P.E. Teacher
    Hometown: Eldon, MO
    Luxury Item: Guitar & Song Book

    Obvious “rug/drapes” conflict –10
    No one ever spells her name right sympathy bonus +5
    Michael row the boat ashore campfire fun +5

    Total pre-season points 0




    Name: Jenna Morasca
    Age: 21
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: Swimsuit Model
    Hometown: Pittsburgh, PA
    Luxury Item: Zeta Crown

    If she could hold political office, she'd be President of the United States so she could make all the important decisions.

    “It’s all about me” penalty –10
    Beta iota tau chi penalty –10
    America’s sweetheart potential +5

    Total pre-season points –15




    Name: Shawna Mitchell
    Age: 23
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: Retail Clothing Sales
    Hometown: Redwood City, CA
    Luxury Item: Soccer Ball

    She currently works for an outdoor retail company

    Humidity will play havoc with those curls penalty -5
    Runs a market stall career enhancement penalty –5
    America’s sweetheart potential +20

    Total pre-season points +10



    Name: Christy Smith
    Age: 24
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: Children Adventure Guide for the Deaf
    Hometown: Basalt, CO
    Luxury Item: Sage

    She describes herself as succulent

    Don’t let pirahna’s know you’re succulent penalty –5
    Is that Gwen’s forehead? –5
    America’s sweetheart potential +15

    Total pre-season points +5



    Name: JoAnna Ward
    Age: 31
    Marital Status: Single
    Occupation: School Guidance Counselor
    Hometown: Orangesburg, SC
    Luxury Item: Picture of Her Mom

    Marion Jones vibe +10
    Loves her mom bonus +5
    Potential “Vee” -20

    Total pre-season points –5



    Name: Jeanne Hebert
    Age: 41
    Marital Status: Married
    Occupation: Director of Marketing
    Hometown: North Attleboro, MA
    Luxury Item: Massage Oil

    She describes herself as enthusiastic, free-spirited and outgoing

    Coming to a nudist beach near you, bonus +5
    Luxury item, yeah baby bonus +10
    Tina/Gretchen/T-bird vibe –5

    Total pre-season points +10



    Name: Janet Koth
    Age: 47
    Marital Status: Married
    Occupation: Travel Agent/Abstinence Counselor
    Hometown: Manchester, MO
    Luxury Item: Daughter's Teddy Bear
    She is most proud of the fact that she and her husband, Kurt, were among the first American families to successfully adopt from a Russian orphanage.

    Channeling Gabe, useless luxury item penalty –5
    "Oil and water" conflicting careers penalty –5
    Aaah factor adoption story +10

    Total pre-season points 0




    Name: Deena Bennett
    Age: 35
    Marital Status: Married
    Occupation: Deputy District Attorney
    Hometown: Riverside, CA
    Luxury Item: Water Balloons

    “Criminal prosecution is my game, protecting the innocent is my aim."
    If she wins the $1 million, she's getting new flooring for her house.


    “So, you got the Green Card then Gerard?” bonus +10
    “Can I interest you in some hardwood?” double entrendre bonus +5
    “Ryan the fireman” bad poetry award –10

    Total pre-season points +5
    Last edited by fluff; 02-11-2003 at 09:14 AM.

  2. #2
    COMBAT MISSIONS junkie! BravoFan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    At the FORT
    Posts
    12,971
    OMG Fluff!

    Those are funny! I was lmao at your point deductions.
    "They can only edit what you give them. They cannot manufacture a fictional character out of thin air." (Bill Rancic - 4/04)
    Regarding editing reality TV: "You can't edit IN a bad personality." ("Cali"-11/02)
    BB8 - A "conveyor belt of human garbage." ("Pono" - 9/07)

  3. #3
    For Your Entertainment lobeck's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Right here, right now
    Age
    50
    Posts
    14,903
    Great job, Fluff!

    But...Mike gets a +5 for being a J-Ho fan????? :nono

  4. #4
    The race is back! John's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    On the mat
    Age
    43
    Posts
    40,432
    Hilarious stuff, Fluff! Now we know who framed Kel.

  5. #5
    Yoffy lifts a finger... fluff's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    43,485
    See, everyone blamed Jerri for all these years
    "That's Numberwang!"

  6. #6
    The race is back! John's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    On the mat
    Age
    43
    Posts
    40,432
    After seeing her on Surreal Life, it's pretty apparent that she's not capable of that big a deception. Which means she really thought she saw Kel eating jerky.

  7. #7
    Ken's cookie! KylieGrant's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    NYC
    Age
    32
    Posts
    2,353
    Fluff! Amazing.

  8. #8
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Orygun
    Posts
    12,166
    Great stuff Fluff!
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  9. #9
    plaisirs volatils raindance's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    In a movie
    Age
    30
    Posts
    1,381
    for fluff!

    You can laugh with him, you can laugh at him, twice the fun bonus +10
    “In Rrrussia, vee have proverb: Only bad soliders don’t vant to be general.” Sasha Pivovarova

  10. #10
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    right behind you
    Age
    47
    Posts
    15,258
    Loved, LOVED all the points!

    Excellent fun read
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.