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    Survivor Palau: Season Finale - Loose Lips Sink Ships

    *cue tribal music*

    It's been a wild ride in Palau - 20 Survivors, 2 tribes, 39 days, and numerous meltdowns later, we've come to the end of another season of Survivor. This finale and the reunion recap are brought to you by the collective efforts of Mantenna and myself, onetvslave. Many thanks to all the writers who contributed this season!



    Day 37 - The End is the Beginning is the End

    Ah, what a tranquil morning. The sun rises peacefully, the birds sing, the rats frolic. The final four castaways begin to stir and greet the morning with as much enthusiasm as I usually do . . . "Unnnnggh." You'd never guess that this is Survivor, and this is the finale episode! C'mon, guys! Do something. Anything.

    Katie, once she's fully awake, reveals that at the last Tribal Council, everything between her and Ian was resolved, but she just wanted to get it out there that Ian betrayed her. Aww, well, aren't you just a little conscientious thing? With friends like you, Katie . . . with friends like you.

    Ian, meanwhile, is trying to grin and move on from last night’s tough TC, and is no doubt eternally grateful for Caryn’s Survivor seppuku, which probably was the sole reason he is still here. He acknowledges that his stock in the jury has gone down, but he views it as a good thing, because, you see, this means he’s not as big a target as, say, Tom. *sigh* Ian, you have much to learn, my young Padawan. Of course, they say rationalization is a mechanism to save you from yourself, so at least you’re happy.

    As Tom and Ian stand chatting in camp, with Jenn and Katie nowhere to be seen, there suddenly come cries from the jungle, “Oh my God! Help us!” Hearing the gritos desesperados, and with one look at one another, Tom and Ian race into the forest, horrified that the girls have come across a salt-water crocodile or worse . . . Willard.

    However, when they arrive on the scene, there’s no horrifying display awaiting them. On the contrary, there is a cooler filled with fresh fruit, wine, and a whole assortment of breakfast-y delights! Ian thinks he sees a heavenly light around the food and hears a chorus of angels from the sky. The sight of food immediately erases all hard feelings, and everyone is hugging, kissing, and doing a happy little dance.

    The quartet wastes little time in digging into their feast. “I love final four!” exclaims Katie. “I like food!” says Tom. Katie likes food too, Tom. She may not outwit, ouplay, or outlast, but she certainly outeats.

    However, as soon as the feast is over, we hop right back into “the game.” Jenn, Katie, and Ian agree that they all need to try as hard as they can to beat Tom in the immunity challenge and get the man out. He’s every “strategist’s” nightmare—a juggernaut who has won nearly every challenge, and there’s simply no way to strategize around that. Ian, whom the girls were a bit suspicious of entering their plan, mentally prepares himself for the thought of getting rid of his buddy. “It’s the best thing for me right now,” he says. “If I win, Tom’s outta there, but if he wins, I’m his best friend again.” *sigh* I’ve got a bad feeling about this. . . .

    Final Four Immunity - The Tower of Doom

    The fantastic four arrive at the F4 immunity challenge, an elaborate obstacle with several levels that stretches as high and as far as the eye can see. Well, not really, but it is of rather mammoth proportions. Jeff greets them and has them take a look around the brand new car that is parked there near the course. They climb in and around the Chevrolet SSR, a somewhat clown-like convertible in a yellow hue that would make Ronald McDonald proud. Jeff explains that this car will not go to the winner of this challenge, but to the winner of Survivor, along with one million dollars which is represented by a blank check in the glove compartment. At this point, Katie grabs the check and runs screaming into the woods. Again, not really – but that’s likely the closest she’ll ever be to seeing that million. Such a sweetie, that girl – everyone loves her.

    With the bait sufficiently dangled out there in front of them, the survivors are ready to compete. Jeff asks Tom to return the immunity necklace, which is strangely starting to take the shape of Tom’s neck. Jeff explains the objectives of the obstacle course:

    The survivors will begin attached to a rope. They must make their way through a tire crawl-through, stopping at three specific spots to untie a ring of keys. Once they have the three sets of keys and have made their way to the tower, they use the leys to unlock a series of padlocks and move to the next level. They must then untie a series of ropes, open a trap door and move up to the third level. At this point, each person will use a grappling hook to retrieve four ladder rungs from the ground below. Using the ladder rungs, they will build a ladder to reach the top level of the tower and raise their flag. The first two people to raise their flags will move on to the next stage.

    In stage two of the challenge, the two remaining Survivors will race down a flying fox into the water. (Better than a flying squirrel, I suppose.) When they reach their destination, they must retrieve a box which contains tiles bearing the combination to a padlocked box. After arranging the tiles in the proper order, the survivors must figure out the combination to unlock their box where they will find another flag. The first person to raise the flag will win immunity.

    When the challenge begins, Jenn, Ian, and Tom move very quickly to their first set of keys, while Katie lags behind. I guess sitting out challenges week after week doesn’t do much to help a person get in shape. Jenn and Ian get tangled up in their ropes, allowing Tom to get a bit of a lead on them. Katie is left behind in the dust as the others advance to the second level. She finally catches up as Tom, followed by Ian and Jenn, advance to the third level and begin using the grappling hooks to retrieve the ladder rungs. Tom seems like he’s done this a million times, while Jenn is clearly struggling to get the results she wants. Note to self: before auditioning for Survivor, become a fireman. It seems to be good training. Before long, Tom has raised his flag and become the first Survivor to advance. Ian follows suit shortly and the men are moving on to the next level.

    Tom and Ian race down the wire. Tom is able to hold himself high above the water, clearly having the advantage over Ian, who struggles to keep his 9-foot-long limbs from dragging in the water and slowing him down. He makes it to the bag of tiles just moments after Tom, and the two run through the water to get back to shore. Tom is ahead of Ian, but Ian tries to save time by untying his bag of tiles as he runs to shore. The two try their various combinations of numbers on their padlocks and come up empty, failing to unlock the boxes after several tries. Jenn and Katie watch nervously from the sidelines. The fellows keep working at it, and eventually Tom’s box is unlocked. He quickly runs his flag up and wins immunity for the fourth time. The immunity necklace cries out, “Daddy!” as Jeff places it around Tom’s neck yet again. I’m still reeling that these fools did not vote this guy out the first time he didn’t win. Idiots.

    I Heard it From My Friends; About the Things You Said

    As the Survivors row in following the epic challenge, Katie bemoans its grueling length. “It just wouldn’t end! It was like three hours long!” Well, of course, Katie. It’s the finale, so it calls for an epic challenge, an epic three-hour show, and, of course, an epic recap. But you don’t hear us complaining!

    Ian, as he failed in his quest to defeat Tom, is confident that Jenn is going home. Tom, elsewhere, tells Jenn that he just can’t entertain the thought of voting out Ian, as they have a promise to each other. Everyone gives hugs to Jenn, and she thanks the group for the opportunity to play the game with them. Whoa, it can’t possibly be this easy, can it?

    The sun sets, and as everyone sits around the fire for one last chat before TC, Ian does it. He slips. After thanking Tom for his decision to keep him around tonight, he adds, “I’m glad I didn’t win immunity and didn’t have to make that decision.” Gah! You just want to smack yourself in the head for the guy.

    Tom’s a sharp guy, and this statement makes him think, “Would Ian have voted me out?” Tom thinks it seemed as though it would have been a difficult decision for Ian, but for himself, it was no decision. Is he being played? He talks to Jenn about it, and Jenn is delighted to tell Tom of the plan that she, Katie, and Ian hatched that morning. “Let’s go ask him about it, right now,” says Tom.

    It’s quite soap operatic, really--racing off to confront the ex with a friend at your side, beneath the light of the full moon. Meanwhile, the audience at home isn’t sure with whom to side!

    Now, I really believe Ian has a good heart, and it’s obvious that he doesn’t take to either lying or outside pressure very well at all. He starts stammering as soon as Tom starts questioning him, but admits to saying that he would vote for Tom. “However,” he insists, “there are a lot of things said in the game. . . .”

    Tom simply replies, “That’s all I needed to know,” looking royally ticked off. Aye yi yi! Will young Ian be able to survive this one?

    Final Four Tribal Council - "It takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." ~ Homer J. Simpson

    Jenn, Katie, Ian, and Tom take their seats at Tribal Council and the jury is shown in. Coby enters wearing some sort of superhero cape or something, and is followed by Janu, Stephenie, Gregg, and Caryn. Jeff mentions that tribal council is starting much later than its usual sundown start time. He takes this as an indication that there is some serious drama going on at camp and asks Tom to fill him in.

    Tom states that the immunity challenge was very difficult because there was so much at stake. In spite of that, he wasn’t nervous, because he was under the impression that his alliance with Katie and Ian was as solid as ever. However, Ian’s slip of the tongue suggested to him that Ian may be playing him for a fool. He rehashes the conversation that he had with Jenn which led him to question Ian’s motives. Ian speaks up and states that he and Tom had a gentleman’s agreement to get to the final three and that he tried to honor it, suggesting that any conversations he had about doing otherwise was just talk. Ian’s fragile web of lies gets even stickier at this point, and he is losing ground with Tom with each passing moment. He claims to be worried that Tom would take Jenn’s word over his after they have had each other’s trust throughout the game. Tom makes the very valid point that it was not what Jenn said, but Ian’s own words that have brought the doubt into his mind. Ian continues to weakly defend himself, and Jeff calls attention to the looks on the others’ faces. Tom looks angry, Katie looks hurt, and Jenn looks delighted that she has been able to stir up some trouble and possibly deflect the target off of her own back for the moment. Jenn says she is glad this has come up because everyone should hear this. Katie says that Ian is so worried about what Tom thinks, but isn’t concerned about her. She asks Ian to be honest and tell her if he has lied to her in the last 24 hours. His eyes roll around in his head as he tries to remember what he said to whom, and then he says he has not lied to her during that time.

    Jeff moves on and checks with Tom to see if he wants to give up immunity. The necklace stays put – Tom ain’t no dummy. The survivors vote and Jeff reveals the votes:

    1st vote: Ian
    2nd vote: Jenn
    3rd vote: Ian
    4th vote: Jenn

    Since the vote is tied, Tom and Katie are asked to vote again. If the votes do not change, there will be a tie-breaker. The two vote again and stick to their guns, refusing to change their votes to avoid a tie. Jeff explains that there will be no bag of rocks this time, but that Jenn and Ian will compete in a tie-breaker challenge involving fire. Jenn looks crushed since she was hoping the challenge would involve being useless and looking cute, her areas of expertise. Ian looks hopeful, and Stephenie gives an “aw yeah, I’ve been there” look from her perch on the jury bench.

    Jenn and Ian take their positions and begin furiously trying to build their respective fires as the challenge begins. Ian’s hard work around camp pays off as he gets his flame going with little difficulty. It grows quickly and burns bright enough to rise and burn the rope, releasing Ian’s flag and saving him from having his torch snuffed. Ian resumes his seat next to Katie, and Jenn leaves the game, wishing luck to the final three on her way out.

    Night 37/Morning 38 – Before You Come to Any Conclusions, Try Walking in My Shoes

    Well, on a brief, happy note, the rats who have invaded the Koror camp have figured out how to turn a coconut shell into a small teeter-totter. Awwww, how cute!

    I’m afraid the cuteness ends there, however, for the Ian-blasting has scarcely begun. Tom, though he was in disbelief that he actually voted for his friend Ian, quickly comes to terms with the fact and admits that he now has a personal grudge. This time, it’s personal.

    Tom immediately lays into Ian as they return to camp, asking for the truth, which is apparently “We weren’t going to the Final Three to duke it out like men.” Ian tries to defend himself and insist that it’s not true, but Katie jumps into the fray, as well, so he’s verbally pummeled down from all sides. But, then, what can you expect of a friend who wants loyalty but was the first to jump from the alliance? It’s going to be one heck of a party at the reunion show.

    Ian, stunned and helpless, stares at the fire until he falls asleep, lost in his thoughts. When he awakes the next morning, he confesses to the camera, through tears, “That was one of the worst nights of my life. It was as if no one else could do wrong, and no one else told a fib or lie in the entire game.”

    Katie returns, as welcome on my screen as a disease.

    “What are you gonna do today?” she asks Ian, sitting beside him.

    “Whatever I FEEL like I wanna do. GOSH!”

    “No idea,” Ian chokes out in reply.

    “Are you going to fight?” asks Katie.

    “I’m not afraid to,” he responds.

    “I think you should. And I think you should take me.”

    I KNEW IT! Katie, that scorpion woman! She’s done a real head job on poor Ian, and who knows if he’ll ever be able to shake the “Use Me” sign that is now around his neck.

    However, all that aside, Ian is now ready for battle. He didn’t come here to play the villain, and now he’s going to prove himself. Today he becomes a man.

    The Remembrance Section - Oh, the memories! *sob*

    Well, look what time it is! Time for our final three to remember all of the fallen survivors in a time-consuming poignant moment of the show. A time when we honor their memory by polluting and trying to destroy the eco-system giving their torches a burial at sea. Their thoughts were boring, so we’ve translated them for you. Here we go:

    Jolanda: “Fierce competitor.” Translation—Tough and bossy. Glad you were out first.

    Ashlee: “Sweet belle of the south.” Translation—She was a nice girl, but bless her heart - Survivor ain't for pansies.

    Jeff: *Silence* Translation—We all know Jeff Probst planted that coconut. He didn’t like sharing his name. So sorry you got a boo-boo on your footie-wootie.

    Kim: *Silence* Translation—You kept our winning streak alive. Thank you. You made being lazy look like a fine art.

    Willard: “Bye, Willard!” Translation—Ya lazy, grouchy old fire-killer!

    Angie: *Silence* Translation—We don’t want to say anything bad about her . . . she might whoop up on us later. Don't taunt the tattooed lady.

    James: “He made me laugh every time he came to challenges!” Translation—Coby beat you up! *points and laughs* HA-ha!

    Ibrehem: “The strong, silent one, right?” Translation— Ibre-who?

    Bobby Jon: “He never stopped working, tough competitor, did not like to lose, and always conducted himself like a gentlemen.” Translation—Except when he was talking with a mouthful of duck embryo or firing snot rockets.

    Coby: “Coby, Coby, Coby!” Translation—Did your mouth ever sleep?

    Janu: *Forcefully throws torch into the ocean* Translation—She got her own island! Grr. Good riddance, Quittie McQuitterson.

    Steph: “Love her; good spirit. Really good spirit.” Translation— Really good body. She was hawt, and didn't mind being backstabbed at all!

    Gregg: “This is a tough one.” Translation—So long, and thanks for all the fish!

    Caryn: “Lots of ups and downs, but I genuinely like her as a person.” Translation— It was fun walking all over her since she had no real allies.

    Jenn: “My best girl out here. Definitely miss her presence; sad to see her go. Luv ya Jenn!” Translation—She just sort of appeared after Gregg left . . . it was weird.

    Final Three Immunity Challenge and the Tribal Council That Wasn't

    The three amigos have buried their fallen comrades at sea and are ready to duke it out for the most important immunity in the game of Survivor. They paddle to a platform on the water where Jeff Probst waits for them. He ceremoniously retrieves the immunity necklace from Tom and explains the rules of the challenge. The survivors will each balance on a buoy on the water for as long as possible. They have a small disk on which they will stand barefooted and a pole to hold on to. They are not permitted to sit on the disk, to touch any part below the disk, or do any pole-dancing. The contestants draw numbers for their positions and swim out to the buoys.

    In the first hour of the challenge, Jeff makes small talk and each of the three express their optimism in regard to winning the challenge. After two hours, the wind comes and they struggle to hold on. Ian’s buoy is leaning dramatically and I can’t help but think that this is one challenge where being tall is a handicap. The winds pass without incident and the rain comes. After four hours, the rain is gone and the sun beats down on the three, who are beginning to look a little worse for the wear. Katie complains that her back hurts and she isn’t enjoying herself. I’m sure that the mere mention of doughnuts would send her leaping from her post into the water. But there are no edible treats this time and she holds on, believing she still has a chance. She twists and turns, trying to find a comfortable spot as the day becomes night. After four hours and fifty-one minutes, she steps down from her post, wishing luck to the other two guys.

    Jeff asks Tom what is hurting him right now, and he replies that everything is numb from the knee down. Ian responds that he feels pretty good. The two men continue to hang in there, contorting themselves in various monkey-like positions to keep from giving up. After eight hours and eleven minutes, Jeff expresses his amazement that there has been no talk of a deal between these two, as has been customary in the years past. Hint, hint? Tom suggests pizza and Ian jokes about french fries, but there is no food to be had. Ian, likely believing that Tom would never take him to the final two, mentions that he is just getting warmed up, but Tom decides to offer a deal after all. He tells Ian that if he wins the challenge, he will be taking Katie to the final two, but that if Ian were to voluntarily step down, he would take him instead. Katie perks up from her position on the deck next to Jeff, where she has been lying like a slug.

    Ian replies that if Tom jumps first, they have a deal. Tom takes another jab at Ian, suggesting that he is afraid to face him at tribal council. Ian refuses to quit, saying that he likes it up there and won’t go out on Tom’s terms. Tom reminds him that $100,000 is nothing to scoff at, but Ian insists that he will win if he does not step down. Tom asserts that he will definitely not be stepping down.

    After several more hours, Ian says he has come up with a solution. He would like to step down and ensure that Tom will take Katie to the final two. Is it possible that Ian got confused and for a second, thought that his name was “Katie”? Is he on crack? Do I need to get my ears checked? What he is suggesting is that he willingly gives up his chance at not only one million dollars, but $100,000 as well. He goes on to explain further that he would give up his chance at the money in order to regain the trust and friendship of his two friends. Jeff can’t believe his ears, either, and he checks with Ian for clarification. Ian reiterates that he has felt all along that friendship is worth more than money, and that with every moment that passes, his betrayal seems worse and worse. He’d rather leave with his integrity than with the money. Oh Ian, this is Survivor! Integrity, shmintegrity!

    Tom agrees to Ian’s conditions and says that he would be Ian’s friend anyway, but with this move he also wins his respect. With that, Ian jumps from his post into the water, ensuring that this is the end for him. Jeff declares Tom as the winner of final immunity. Tom and Ian swim to the deck and hug when they get out of the water. Tom jokes that he was about to fall off, and Ian playfully pushes him into the water. As Tom takes the immunity necklace for the last time, Ian and Katie share a hug. Ian looks a little shell-shocked, and it is easy to imagine the phrase “what have I done?” playing over and over in his head.

    Jeff asks Tom if there is any reason why they shouldn’t have tribal council immediately. Tom says he’d like to give Ian one more opportunity to answer, and Ian sticks to his word, saying they have made a deal. Since Tom, holding immunity, is the only one with a vote to cast, he gives his vote verbally to Jeff, eliminating Ian from the game while calling him “a hell of a guy”.

    Ian and his integrity ride away in a boat as the other two paddle back to camp.

    Final Tribal Council - Tell It Like It Is

    Tom and Katie arrive at tribal council for their final judgment after spending a final day together and torching their demons . . . along with their whole camp, in a huge bonfire. Jeff introduces the jury members and Ian enters last, looking altogether too happy. Jeff explains the details of the final tribal council; the finalists will address the jury with their opening statements, and then the seven jury members will ask questions of the final two in order to determine who deserves the money. After the questions and answers have been exchanged, Katie and Tom will have one last opportunity to plead their case with closing statements to the jury.

    Tom gives up the immunity necklace for the last time and begins to speak to the jury. He expresses his appreciation and respect for the other players and asks that they judge him on who he was and how he played the game, competing hard and working hard to provide for the tribe. Katie begins by saying she is very aware how different she and Tom are as players and that she won’t even attempt to compete with him on some levels. However, self-preservation is a key component to the game, and at that she succeeded. She knows that some players may not respect that she got where she did by aligning herself with two strong players, but that those were the only cards she could play. She believes she “outwitted” and is honored to be there.

    The jury members are given one minute to ponder the remarks of the finalists and they begin their questioning.

    Coby is first. He tells Katie and Tom that he respects that he was outplayed by them, but he doesn’t respect the way they played the game. Coby informs Katie that if she gets his vote, it is not a vote for her game play, but rather a vote against Tom. He explains that while she sat out most challenges, didn’t contribute around camp, and was sociable only with those in her alliance, he can say that she was skilled at riding the coattails of others. Coby turns to Tom and says he played dirty and was no more honorable than Ian. He calls Tom out on the fact that he is very good at covering his half-truths by dodging bullets and skirting around questions. He is giving Tom the chance to get his vote by being honest tonight.

    Gregg questions Tom about the five-person alliance and his loyalty to it. He claims that he saved Tom when he had the opportunity to get him out, but that Tom did not return the favor. Tom responds that Ian misled him into thinking that Gregg was gunning for him and regrets the vote for Gregg. Gregg moves his attention to Katie and begins to describe her as worthless around camp, and insignificant and embarrassing at challenges. He adds that she said mean things about and betrayed most of the jury members at one point or another. He’d like to know how being pathetic is a plan to win a million dollars. Katie is visibly stunned by his harsh words, true as they may be. She apologizes for being pathetic to him, and tries not to cry as she claims she would never use those words for him. She again claims that she is not athletic and played the only cards she had. Will the tears work on Gregg as they have on Ian?

    Stephenie congratulates the finalists on making it to the end. She addresses Tom and brings up his conversation with her where he claimed he would look out for her and fight for her. She asks him to explain specifically what he did to fight for her when her name came up for tribal council. Tom weakly explains that he went as far as he could but could not break up his five-person alliance at that point in the game. He fails to explain why he voted out Stephenie prior to Caryn, who was not a part of the five-person alliance, but unfortunately, Stephenie does not push the issue. In addressing Katie, she asks her why she should not vote for Tom. Katie replies that she hates to make this so ugly, but she wants Stephenie to know that Tom came to her before Stephenie came to Koror and said that they had to vote out whichever Ulong member came to their tribe, be it Stephenie or Bobby Jon. While this conversation may actually have taken place, Katie sounds very insincere and dishonest in her delivery. Tom looks at her like she is crazy and says it would make no sense since Stephenie was, at one point, in an alliance with Katie, Ian, and himself. Katie claims that she remembers the conversation and Stephenie sits down, apparently satisfied.

    Janu is called up next and addresses Tom first, asking him if he found it difficult to compromise his integrity to reach the end of the game. He answers that in a game like this, one has to draw lines and decide how far they would be willing to go to win the game. He feels he was lucky that he didn’t ever have to get to any of his lines and was able to play with as much dignity and honor as possible. His goal was to reach the end to be judged on how he played, and he welcomes that opportunity. It aptly begins to rain as the arch-rivals square off, and Janu asks Katie to provide three positive and negative adjectives that best describe her and how she played the game. Katie replies that she doesn’t expect Janu to vote for her, so she doesn’t feel compelled to answer. Janu asks Katie to clarify that she does not want her vote, and takes her seat on the bench. Really, I just think Katie didn’t know what an “adjective” was.

    Caryn looks at Tom and demands to know what she was to him in the game, a pawn or his soulmate destiny loveslave a legitimate, real friend. Tom says he never lied and told her she was in an alliance, but that he saw them as the parents of a dysfunctional family who should look out for each other. He looked out for her as long as possible until he thought she was lying and trying to stir up trouble. She asks him again if they were friends, and Tom says he refuses to answer, that she should find the answer in her heart. Oh, gag me. Caryn is appeased and turns to Katie, calling her mean, lazy, unkind, cruel, and phony, She’d like to hear one reason why Katie should receive her vote. This is almost laughable as there is nothing Katie can say to change anyone’s mind. She basically says, I’m sorry you don’t like me, but I had an alliance and you didn’t, so there. Great job, Katie.

    Jenn says that Tom is a bit of a chauvinist who did not respect her game or her vote because she is a woman. She’d like to know why Tom deserves her respect and her vote at this time. Tom answers that when she approached him late in the game, he listened to her. Prior to that, she had kept her strategy hidden, so he didn’t realize how hard she was playing. Jenn turns to Katie and says that she had many opportunities to play the game like a strong woman, but she chose to play as a doormat. Katie explains that by preserving herself and sticking to her strategy, she feels she is a strong woman and feels good about her game. A strong doormat, huh? That won’t help your case one bit.

    Ian asks the same question of both finalists, with Katie to answer first. He’d like to know from each person, the biggest reason why they should not receive his vote. Katie says that if a person is judging game play on whether or not they liked her personality and sense of humor, then she should not receive their vote. Tom says that he shouldn’t get the money because the experience of playing the game and having the adventure was compensation enough. Yeah, right.

    After a few moments to compose his closing statement, Tom begins his last words to the jury. He explains that he was himself during his time on the island, for better or worse. He stuck with his alliances from the beginning and apologizes to anyone he hurt along the way. He is willing to be judged on how he played, enjoyed his days with everyone, and won’t have any hard feelings towards anyone, regardless of their vote.

    Katie begins with an apology to anyone she hurt. She knew that Tom was her biggest competition because he is such a stand-up guy – that is why she aligned with him and Ian. She asks for the jury to give her a chance, because she played the only way she knew how and stuck to her strategy. She is still leaving the game with her self-respect.

    The moment of truth is near as all the arguments have been heard and the jury is ready to vote. We see Janu voting for Tom, thanking him for choosing her for his tribe and providing her with an incredible experience. Coby votes and says that he asked for honesty and got it – but not from Tom. He shows his vote for Katie. The rest of the jury members cast their votes, and the final tribal council comes to a close. The final votes will be revealed at the live reunion…

    We go live to the finale/reunion in NYC. A haggard-appearing Jeff enters the Ed Sullivan theater to the roars of a cheering crowd. What, Jeff!? No incredible adventures to get here? No windsurfing around the world? No skydiving or time-space continuum wormholes or anything!? Julie has obviously totally worn him out. He carries the box of votes in his hands and ascends the stage, taking his place behind the podium next to the contestants who all look pleasantly clean and well fed. Well, except for Katie. She always looked well-fed. Jeff congratulates them on a great season and reminds them that the winner will receive one million dollars as well as the freakishly yellow convertible. The difference with tonight’s votes, is that both Tom and Katie are hoping to see their names written down for the first time in the game. They clasp hands as Jeff reads the votes….

    1st vote: Tom
    2nd vote: Katie
    3rd vote: Tom
    4th vote: Tom
    5th vote: Tom

    Tom receives the four votes he needs to win and becomes the winner of Survivor Palau. No one seems particularly shocked after Katie’s performance at tribal council, and the audience erupts in cheers and applause. Tom runs out and hugs his family. The camera pans to all of Tom’s fellow fireman holding up signs and cheering his name. The rest of the Survivors make their way to the stage and there are hugs and clapping all around. All backstabbing and betrayals are forgiven and forgotten and all is well with the world. Yeah, right.

    Send comments to mantenna@fansofrealitytv.com or onetvslave@fansofrealitytv.com.
    Last edited by oneTVslave; 05-18-2005 at 01:20 AM.
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  2. #2
    Blue Mooooooooon Blue Meanie's Avatar
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    Janu: *Forcefully throws torch into the ocean* Translation—She got her own island! Grr. Good riddance, Quittie McQuitterson.
    No love lost here!

    Other remembrances that come to mind include:

    Katie: "only survivor to GAIN weight"
    Jeff: "Only survivor to succumb to ankle biters"
    Janu: "Only survivor whose hair weighed more than they did"
    Steph: "Best unpaid suntan commercial on Survivor"
    Willard: "Only survivor who looked like the immunity idol"
    Tom: "Only survivor who'll get commercial contract for Grecian Formula"
    Ian: "Only survivor who won a car who doesn't have a drivers license"
    Greg: "First survivor to fail with the ROMBER formula"
    Bobby Jon: "First survivor who worked himself out of the game"


    Great recap and kudos to Manny and OneTVSlave for the only EPIC recap of a final survivor!
    Last edited by Blue Meanie; 05-18-2005 at 04:08 AM.
    Paintin' the Town Blue!

  3. #3
    FORT Freak laura302's Avatar
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    Awesome recap

  4. #4
    It's EDGY! Kocky_Kamikaze's Avatar
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    Great recap!!!

    You're TOO funny, Blue Meanie!
    "My life gets less like chess and more like whack-a-mole every day."
    <-- "I'm Hexy and I know it!"

  5. #5
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    Fantastic recap, I loved all the translated rememberances!
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  6. #6
    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
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    Manny and OTiS, what a great way to end a great season. You two wrote a most hilarious recap!
    You got to cry without weeping. Talk without speaking. Scream without raising your voice.- U2

  7. #7
    When I'm 64 William13's Avatar
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    With idiotic laughter emanating from me while reading the recap I eagerly anticipated seeing how you would handle Ian's act of (temporary?) insanity. Yes, it was as funny to read about as it was incomprehensible to watch.

    The whole recap was entertaining to read, and fortunately unlike the show itself, there was no filler.

  8. #8
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oneTVslave
    Ah, what a tranquil morning. The sun rises peacefully, the birds sing, the rats frolic.

    The immunity necklace cries out, “Daddy!” as Jeff places it around Tom’s neck yet again.

    Well, on a brief, happy note, the rats who have invaded the Koror camp have figured out how to turn a coconut shell into a small teeter-totter. Awwww, how cute!

    Katie returns, as welcome on my screen as a disease.

    James: “He made me laugh every time he came to challenges!” Translation—Coby beat you up! *points and laughs* HA-ha!

    Really, I just think Katie didn’t know what an “adjective” was.
    Great job, guys!

    Now what are we supposed to watch until September?
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  9. #9
    a jumble of useless facts gracie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dagwood
    Great job, guys!

    Now what are we supposed to watch until September?
    There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home. -Ken Olsen

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