On last week episode: after the twenty fame-whores for this season made it to shore they chose up sides for a game of dodge-ball then booted the dazed-and-confused pretty-boy and the loony school teacher off the island. During the immunity challenge team-Ulong showed that not only do they lack even a basic understanding of preparation or team work they have no idea how to paddle a canoe. Team-Koror, on the other hand, showed not only that they know how to plan ahead and row a boat but they know how to turn a great success into a dismal failure with one little lean to the right -- it was quite impressive. Team-Ulong topped off the first episode by booting off their most physically abled team member.
[Australian Accent] "And 'er we 'ave the deadly Micronesian Scary-eyed Jumpin' Rat. Crikey look at the teeth on that one. When yah grab 'em by the tail like this yah gotta be careful 'cause they'll whip around, [waves hands] yargh, and rip your 'eart right out". [/Australian Accent]
"I can hear them, they're right over there where we piled all the half eaten-coconuts and other food stuffs".
I'm sorry but it's got to be said. You're in the tropics, it's raining and you're cold. Go jump in the 30 degree* ocean!
"With Jolanda gone there's no-one to tell us what to do".
"We can do what ever we want".
"What should we do?"
"We can figure this out, we just have to ask ourselves 'What would Jolanda make us do?'".
Is anyone else getting uncomfortable flashbacks from Lord of the Flies.
"Come on in and take a spot on the mat".
"Is it nap time already?"
"We always got milk and cookies before nap time, where's the milk and cookies?"
"We capsized and lost our fire".
While his expression is great, I don't believe for a second that he didn't know about the capsizing.
"Why does that make you so happy Jeff?"
"We got nothin' and lost a member of our tribe because we're incompetent morons while they lost everything they won due to bad luck, but we're still younger and prettier than they are".
"I can't believe we lost".
"Even the freaky-chick kicked our ass, we totally suck".
"Why do I always have to sit way out here?"
"You're sitting out there until you agree to have a bath, with soap".
"That's not gonna happen".
"You definitely showed me somthin' out there today".
"That's because I'm stuck wearing this crappy bra".
"That was nice, but that wasn't what I was talkin' about. You kicked ass out there today girl! I'm almost tempted to treat you like a normal person".
"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me".
"Oh my god, oh my god. It's on fire! Put it out, put it out!"
"I'm thinking you're not quite understanding the concept of a camp fire".
"It looked a lot bigger underwater when it was coming right at me".
"What do we tell the girls, do you think they'll buy the 'shrinkage' story?"
"They bought it before".
"What the hell is this?"
"Just take it, I think it might be pirate treasure".
"Dude, it's a shellfish".
"You don't know that".
"I can see the mollusk right here".
"That's the Treasure Guardian".
"I think you've been holding your breath too long".
"Does anyone know the spot where we capsized?"
"I know where it is, it's right over there by the big wave".
"We tried everything short of tying the rope to the box. We tried hooking it with the anchor, we tried sticking the rope to it with bubble gum, we even tried group-meditiation to levitate it up. Nothing worked".
"So out next plan was to swim down and tie a coconut to it, then another and another, eventually we'd get enough coconuts tied to it that it would float to the surface. Then Tom suggested just tying the rope to it. I thought that was a silly idea but he's a Real American Hero(tm) so I figured I should humor him -- and damn if it didn't work!"
"Should we tie the box to the boat while we row to shore?"
"Nah, it'll be fine".
"Ugh! Why does the smoke always blow towards me?"
"Kim and Jeff are getting snuggly, I don't know if she's playing him, he's playing her, they're consummating a two person alliance or if they're both just horn-dogs".
"What letter comes after 'C' again?"
"The tribe that wins today's challenge will feel the warmth of Binky's love while the losers feel the heat of his wrath".
It's the immunity challenge and we start off with some underwater-beefcake for the ladies.
Ulong copies Koror's team work, except for the part where it works.
Tom's new nickname on team-Koror -- The Machine
Just to change the subject for a moment, does that look like a Shark Treat(tm) behind Tom to anyone else, or is it just me?
For a moment there I thought that was screen-fuzz on Binky's butt, but after careful examination I think it was just some water on the camera lens...
"When, we, got, back, to, our, beach, it, was, raining, and, our, main, concern, was, 'Oh, crap, I, hope, our, fire, didn't, go, out'".
"I know you and Kim are gettin' your grove on, but she's holdin' back the team".
"I was thinking Ashley, she's breaking down, losing it. I think she's about to totally implode".
"What makes you think that?"
"I hit on her and she blew me off, obviously she's lost her grip on reality".
"That's a pretty convincing argument, you are an attractive man".
"Hey Kim, I was kinda like thinkin'".
"You were 'kinda like thinkin', but not really thinking?"
"Really thinkin', no way. That makes my head hurt".
"So, you were saying?"
"Ummm, don't remember".
* That's 86 degrees Fahrenheit for my U.S. friends.