I got to carry Piggy to the Reward Challenge, that was cool, just more proof that we don’t need men for anything. We were split into two tribes for the challenge, and although it may have looked like I enjoyed touching and kissing Eliza, it really meant nothing Chrissy, I swear.
We took a prop plane to the reward where we traded piggy for another pig. The reward was awesome, and I even enjoyed the mouth numbing Kava. The food was different though, as I’m not used to rubbers… or rubbery food.
Julie wouldn’t look at me when we returned, so I knew something was up.
At the Immunity Challenge I had to give up the necklace, then wound up losing the challenge. Of course a woman won, so it was OK with me.
I couldn’t believe Scout was trying to rid the tribe of a woman when there were two perfectly expendable guys left. Silly Scout. I say Chad, so Chad it is. Later man.
*hugging knees and shivering* That was close…too close. When Jeff pulled my name out of the cookie jar, I could feel it. The old bags were finally going to stick the knife in my back. I knew they hated me from that very first day on the beach, when we cute girls got in our swimsuits and spent the afternoon grooming together. It was pretty obvious that Scout and Twila were completely jealous of our, um, perkiness. Like it’s my fault they haven’t looked good in a bikini since Nixon was president? So I was surprised when Jeff launched into his “eleventh person voted off” speech. That could only mean…yes! I was saved! And looky there at who was holding her head in her hands. My earth momma. She who sings at camp. She who will not bend.
Speaking of bending, my talents sure came in handy during the reward challenge. It’s official - I am the bendiest, skinniest bit o’heaven Survivor has ever seen. *snorting* There’s no way the men could have shoved Scout or Twila through those rope loops. Ami was right in there, handling and shoving like a pro. It was oddly unsettling to be cuffed and helpless and so…handled, but I would have done anything to get a night away from Scout’s singing. Our reward was kind of disappointing, though. Back at camp, everyone acted like we spent the night a spa getting pedicures, when all we did was drink some local herbal tea and gnaw on something rubbery. The singing and the kids were all right, I guess, and at least we gave the pig a good home. They gave us another little pig in exchange. He was little and furry and…the pig! We forgot the pig! *eyes popping out of skeletor head*
Wow. It looks like the Stone has let me down. Or maybe Ami used her evil influence on the Stone, just like she did to all the women here. Who am I kidding? We were tricked fair and square by these so called ladies, but a for a few of them I have set aside a special place in detention back at Loser Lodge. Oh, and I am hoping Chris can survive to the finals, I am sure he will get at least Sarge and my vote. I do have to remember though to ask Sarge why he told Chris to vote for him, and not me. Strange that was. I am sure it was just a timing issue, I mean Chris would not have lied about that would he? Naaaaaaaah. Looking back, I guess I can be proud of how I played this game. I competed well in the challenges, I selected a good alliance that booted off our original competition, and I didn’t get naked for chocolate or peanut butter, so I am pretty sure I can go back to my teaching job when this is all over.
I had a dream that I was a mother hen. In the farm yard there were five other hens, and two scrawny roosters. I was the oldest hen, but one of the younger ones was trying to rule the roost and push me out. Oddly enough, that hen had implants. In the dream I convinced the next oldest hen to join me and the roosters, and we plotted to overthrow the bossy upstart and her friends, starting with this annoying young hen with enormous, hypnotic eyes.
When I woke up, I knew what this meant – I’m very spiritual and can interpret even the most obscure dream meanings like the ones in this dream. The dream meant I needed get together with Twila and join forces with Chris and Chad, and vote Eliza out. I told the guys about my plan, but I left out the dream; those two don’t seem like the touchy-feely type of men that can appreciate the surreal abilities I draw from Mother Earth.
When Ami went off with half the tribe on the reward trip, it rained on us and dampened the girls’ spirits. I used this to my advantage, pointing out that we could use the men to gather firewood, and convinced them all we should vote off Eliza. But when Ami came back, she got all the women to vote off Chad instead. Even I ended up casting my vote at Chad.
This turn of events made me reexamine the meaning of my dream, which wasn’t quite as complex as I thought. It just means that I’m chicken.
Heh heh HEH! Lookie who's wearin' the immunity necklace now! If you gotta wear jewelry, it's always better to wear somethin' with animal teeth in it. Less girly. Obviously, voting Sarge out has helped me get my head back in the game. I mean, I was moonin' over a fool man and almost let it ruin my strategy! Almost. But now I can concentrate fully on winnin' this here game. And it's gonna take ALL my concentration, because them sorority chickies have proved to be a mite stronger than they look. They are bound and determined to vote the men out, and I had to vote with ‘em or risk my own butt down the line. Besides, now Sarge is gone, what do I care whether the men stay?
Anyway, the only way I’d give Eliza a million dollars is if she promised to spend every dollar on food for herself. But I got to play the game for now. Besides, those young’uns, well … they’re persuasive. I’m thinkin’ I might like having my hair braided. I think Ami’s smart. I think I will vote for Chris next week. I think I’m gettin’ sleepy…
Sarge...**sniff**....Sarge... he told me to vote for him since......since everyone else already was. *sniff* I'll never let go, Sarge. Waaaaaaaa!
I think I might've overdone it with the wailing, but THAT boys and girls is how you weasel your way back into the game.
Let me break it down to you because I know some of you are sloooooooooooow. If you question a woman's character, or even question why you need to take the trash out, she will snap your neck like a twig. To neutralize the she-devils, you must open your heart and show them your vulnerability. They will then start thinking with their hearts. I know that no self-respecting man would do that, but suck it up because you will have them eating out of your hands in no time.
This, my friends, is what is happening now. Scout took the bait, and now she's my new best friend. I could kiss her, but I don't want to throw up the nasty food I ate at the village. By the way, it was great winning the reward challenge. I got to dance with the villagers, drink Kava with my bud, Chad, and sing with the children. Life is good! I didn't do so well at the IC, but I'm not worried. I have Scout and Twila in my back pocket. Now, it's time to watch that annoying bug-eyed Eliza get booted.
What? Chad is out!! Not again. What went wrong? Oooooh, I know. I forgot to calculate the fact that SOME women don't have any hearts. Someone will burn for this. I smell burnt old bats in the near future.
This blasted rain is just too much for me to take. The clothes are wet. The blankets are wet. The pillows are wet. The fire is wet. The wet is wet. AAAAAIEEE! I feel like I'm on crazy pills with all this freakin' rain! Here I stand, on solid ground, yet it seems that I'm about to drown, and there's no David Hasselhoff in sight. *sigh* And while I'm stuck here playing mermaid, Eliza, Ami, Chad, and Chris got to go off to some luxurious reward. Hmmph. They probably got more chicken wings in a nice, dry room! The mood is bleak at camp, and it's getting into the heads of some of my tribe-mates. Yeah, let's think . . . vote out Eliza before the guys? Yep. Great idea. Um . . . no. I can't believe that they almost went for it . . . especially Julie. Do you not remember our dancing days, Jules? Back in the days of the sun? Thank goodness we've still got the numbers and don't really have to do anything . . . that way I didn't have to expend myself too much in the immunity challenge. Having to cling to a WET pole with rain in your face is not my idea of a good time. Meh. And don’t get me wrong. Chad was a nice guy, but I just can’t show the men any mercy after their leader, Sarge, drank all the coffee. That’s a flaying offense. I tell you, such horrid conditions on this infernal island. What’s a research assistant-slash-model to do?
I've been spun, twisted, held upside down, bent backwards, shimmied up and down poles, massaged with nimble fingers, and contorted into S-shapes. So basically...........your average Tuesday. My lythe and nimble form was easily selected to be fed through the obstacle course, not only could everyone get their hands on me...but more importantly....I could get my body near their hands. Score one for Julie! For immunity.....and beyond! And speaking of that "beyond" part, oh how I miss my old, four boy team!! The only memory I have now of Sarge's rough, man-hands......is Twila. *sniff* My man/men! *sniff* And whatever happened to that FBI guy? Dangit. Oops....I mean..."girl power"! *pumps fist weakly and unenthusiastically* But yeah, I was all about keeping Chad and getting rid of the stick, i.e. Eliza, but not this week. *sigh* Not this week. If I had immunity, maybe I'd have more sway. But as such...I was the first one to slide down my post into the soft sand. My thighs were just plumb worn out from the days activities. But I'm still makin' it to the end. Oh yes!! AIEEEEE!!! <--*screams with Leeann*
Thank you to the following for contributing to the shadows this season: Bill, Bravo, cali, eny, Feifer, hepcat, Ilikai, Lobeck, Lucy, Manny, Miss F, Paulie, Shazzer, sher, spegs, Stargazer, Wayner, Wolf and Zaius.