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Thread: Paulie's Precaps - Episode 7: Atari Guy Clue Kit

  1. #11
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    I loved it Paulie! I think with all the quitting going on, you have captured the spirit of all-stars!

    Oh, and this isn't the funniest line of all, but I can imagine Rahb saying it, and I nearly spit Starbucks when reading it:

    “As a haht attack,” Rob replies.
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  2. #12
    what are you watching? iguanachocolate's Avatar
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    Paulie, you are truly a genious. Thanks for livening up a very dull staff meeting!

    IC

  3. #13
    FORT Fogey veejer's Avatar
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    Thanks for another great precap Paulie!

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    “Oh, my god!” Amber raves. “It’s so good!” She dives lustily into a slab of shark and shakes her head side-to-side as she rips off a hunk of meat. As she looks up, the camera kicks it into slow-motion. A puff of wind teases her hair into a cloud about her head, and she extends her tongue to lap up some shark juice trickling out the corner of her mouth as she stares hungrily at the man across from her.
    I've been wondering when you would get an "Amber" moment in there Paulie.

    Nope No Snapping Duck-Sharks Here Bay Beach
    At least we know that it is safe to go in the water!

    Thhhwwaannnnggnnngg!! Jerri blasts off the island so rapidly she’s over the water before the other Survivors can swivel their heads to track her flight. She travels to the horizon, dwindling in size until she’s just a dot, and then she disappears from their sight.
    I almost felt sorry for Jerri. Not quite, but almost.

  4. #14
    FORT Newbie sugarbooger's Avatar
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    Great job again Paulie!! I agree with Bill, you have definitely caught the spirit of all-stars. The quitting is just too funny And by the way, I did not get a chance to reply last week, but I loved how Shii Ann was taking over Richards place in the tribe. I really enjoy your precaps. I can't wait to see who going to quit tonight
    morning would be so much easier if it would just start later in the day - garfield

  5. #15
    Horror of Horrors emjoi's Avatar
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    Now if Jeff then quit in disgust, and Rich Hatch stepped in as the new Presenter....

  6. #16
    FORT Fanatic masashi's Avatar
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    Man, one of the FUNNIEST pre-caps ever..LOL!! had me serisouly laughing my @ss off heh heh

  7. #17
    FORT Fogey
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    This one was HILARIOUS! I love your creativeness... really, really great precap Paulie!

  8. #18
    Premium Member dagwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    “I wanna quit,” Rob says.
    ----------
    “Mike thayat too,” Tom says. “Big Tawm is out. Ah queeyut.”
    ----------
    Shii Ann raises her hand. “Actually, Jeff, I think I’ll just quit.”
    ----------
    “What, Lex? What? Are you quitting, too?”

    “I just want to know what we’re playing for.”
    ----------
    “Quitting!” Jerri says.

    “Need a slingshot!” Jeff yells.

    Two muscular men race out of the trees and grab Jerri, one by each arm. They hustle her back to the tree line, where a giant elastic band is tied to a pair of palm trees. They settle her in the middle of the enormous rubber band and pull her back as far as they can. The rubber band quivers and thrums as the two men strain to hold her in place. They watch Jeff silently, expectantly.

    “Fire,” Jeff says quietly.

    Thhhwwaannnnggnnngg!! Jerri blasts off the island so rapidly she’s over the water before the other Survivors can swivel their heads to track her flight. She travels to the horizon, dwindling in size until she’s just a dot, and then she disappears from their sight.
    ----------
    He turns to look at the Survivors and notes that Ethan and Jenna are now gone, as well. Jeff covers his eyes with one hand and shakes his head. “Tell me they’re just off exploring the local plant life and lost track of time.”

    Colby shakes his head. “Nope. They both quit within about ten minutes of each other. Nobody really knows why. Maybe they were tired.”
    ----------
    Kathy raises her hand. “I think it’s only fair to let you know I’m considering quitting, but I’m on the fence right now.”
    ----------
    The next night at Tribal Council, a still-groggy Colby is tag-teamed by the rest of the tribe, losing 5-1. Just before his torch is extinguished, Colby holds up his hands. “Wait! Can I quit first?”
    I love it, Paulie!
    He who laughs last thinks slowest

    #oldmanbeatdown - Donny BB16

  9. #19
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Excellent title, excellent opening paragraph, excellent precap! I would like to peek inside that brain of your for a day, as I have no idea how you do this each week. It is amazing. Between you, Fluff, Bill and the Shadows The FoRT really is the only place one needs to go for a Survivor fix.

    You Rock!

    Since many of my quotes were stolen, I'll only add a few more:

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie The Great
    “Hay, Ambah. Wanna go collect some wood?” he asks, italicizing the final phrase with his inflection and body language.

    The next day, the Survivors arrive at Trapper Flap Snap And Clap Shark Bark Dark Remark Beach. Jeff is staring at the sign forlornly when the tribe arrives. “Look at that,” he says, sadness tingeing his voice. “Now that’s a tongue-twister. They make it look so easy, too. ‘Let’s just throw a bunch of like-sounding words together and call it a tongue twister.’ Pretentious showoffs.”
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  10. #20
    Only here for Survivor... Faulkenham's Avatar
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    I know I am a little late... but here are some of my favorites:

    Quote Originally Posted by Paulie
    “Hay, Ambah. Wanna go collect some wood?”

    “Rupert said he’d take me out and spear some fish.” She grins at Rupert, who sends a toothy smile and a wink back her way.

    “I’ve been dumped befoah, but nevah fer a hippy pirate.”

    “It is highly irregular to interrupt me in the course of my explanation of the big Challenge!”

    You should’ve considered the needs of the hyper-intelligent before this whole thing got started.

    “Need a sidecar!”

    He holds up a can of beans.

    “Quitting!” Jerri says.

    “Need a slingshot!” Jeff yells.

    I think what I’m going to do is just go sit in my tent and eat this entire can of beans by myself.

    You either leave the game after Tribal Council or they drag your stiff body outta here.

    “I think it’s only fair to let you know I’m considering quitting, but I’m on the fence right now.”

    He spins and thrashes like a bearded, tie-dye-wearing Tasmanian Devil, trying to burst as many balloons as possible.

    “My glasses!” Atari Guy whines.
    Thank you Paulie...
    "Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - JFK

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