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Thread: What now for Erin?

  1. #1
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    What now for Erin?

    So the world asks, what now for Erin Collins?

    Clearly the marketing folks at Survivor will get going here, and make up for the missing product placement shots. So I think we will find at the next tribal council a new change in the proceedures.....

    Jeffy: Welcome tribe, this will be your first tribal council with the Jury present, and what a jury it will be....

    (start music in the background)

    Jeffy: Now entering the council pavillion...you know her...you loved her, just not enough to keep her around....it's Erin!

    (erin strolls in....but she is well adorned)

    Jeffy: Yes, she is quite lovely isn't she Clay?

    (Clay stares blankly at her...his jaw begins to drop)

    Jeffy: Clay? Somebody wipe the droll off Clay's chin.... Tell us about Erin's enseamble Johnny-O!

    (Erin walks near the fire in the model like fashion, and begins to highlight and display items as Johnny Olsen of the Price is Right begins his breakdown)

    Johnny O: Weeeelllllllllllll thank you Jeffy. Erin is adorned tonight in a Shearling Funnelneck Coat, the collar can be worn up for extra warmth, or down for a hint of glamour. This jacket color is licorice. This jacket can be found at Banana Republic, or go online at bananarepublic.com

    (Erin begins to remove the coat...Clay is getting a little...fidgety...in his seat)

    Johnny O: Underneath the jacket is a Cashmere Sleeveless Turtleneck Sweater, in antique grey. This is the Black Label from Ralph Lauren and includes fine-gauge cashmere jersey, fashioned from the softest Italian yarns. The matching skirt is a Stretch Sateen Skirt, in black. It is a slim, sexy knee-length pencil skirt with five-pocket styling. You can find Polo style in all upscale locations, or go online...polo.com!

    (Erin holds out her purse....Clay begins to uncontrollably hold out his arm toward her...)

    Johnny O: Yes, you guessed it, it is the new Kate Spade Magilla Collection handbag. This personal accessory will soon be sweeping the nation, don't be last on your block to have one....and what is this inside the purse?

    (Erin begins removing two products...sweat is now running in a steady stream from Clay's forehead...)

    Johnny O: Why it is Doritios and a Mountain Dew. What episode of Survivor would be complete without mentioning these two fine products. MOUNTAIN Dew is Erin's favorite drink....Do the Dew!

    But, wait, what is under the sweater and skirt you ask?

    (Erin begins seductively pulling up her sweater.....Clay flips over backward off of his seat and begins uncontrolled spasming....Helen steps out to begin CPR, while Jan begins singing a happy song and digging a shallow pit just off-screen...)

    Johnny O: Yes, exclusively from Victoria's Secret...

    (Penny leaps to her feet, put on her most effective princess pouting expression and screams...)

    evilPenny (tm): Are we going to F**cking vote Jeff?

    All the men (except for poor Clay of course): SHUT UP PENNY!!!!

    And so the council goes on, and it was a revealing one at that....can't remember who got voted off, and I think they edited that part out in favor of Erin highlights coming next week...
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  2. #2
    Princess
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    Bill - maybe you should have put a "boys only" warning on this thread!! But I admit that this would certainly give Erin some more airtime, which she didn't get before...
    Penny leaps to her feet, put on her most effective princess pouting expression and screams...... Are we going to F**cking vote Jeff?
    You go girl!!

  3. #3
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    Very funny stuff Bill
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  4. #4
    Ken's cookie! KylieGrant's Avatar
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    Bill! Great stuff!
    Another talented writer here. WOW.

  5. #5
    Lets see who blinks! Perc's Avatar
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    Man that was terrific!!!

    Jan begins singing a happy song and digging a shallow pit just off-screen
    If you aren't employed as a comedy writer...you should be Bill!
    A rose soft, pliant and fragile when touched will quiver excitedly

  6. #6
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    Gosh thanks, but I am afraid my skeelz don't approach those of the masters, Fluff and Paulie.

    I think I had too many of those Egg-Nog latte's the Modesty despises this morning, as this all came to me during a long boring drive to work...
    "George Oscar Bluth II, aka GOB, featured magician in the best selling videotape, "Girls With Low Self Esteem" invites you to enter his world.
    -- Arrested Development, Season III

  7. #7
    Princess
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    I think I had too many of those Egg-Nog latte's
    Ummm... those had rum in them?? (I think I could stand them if they did...)

  8. #8
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    Great job, Bill.

  9. #9
    For Your Entertainment lobeck's Avatar
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    Bill!

  10. #10
    It ain't easy being green Wayner's Avatar
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    Bill, my only concern is that your descriptions were so good that we're going to think you're a closet catalog junkie.

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