Hello again, Survivor fans! Huge thanks to Waywyrd for last week’s excellent recap while I was blissed out on tryptophan. I have no idea why they showed a new episode on Thanksgiving. But they did – last week we had the merge, Yul told Jonathan he had the immunity idol, Candice and Adam made out, and Nate was voted out after Jonathan went crawling back to Aitu.
That brings us to this week, which is all about the hate, baby. Finally! This week’s episode has more name-calling and telling people to their face what is thought of them than a catfight among drag queens. It’s delicious. And, not surprisingly, it mostly involves Jonathan.
Tell Us How You Really Feel
We pick up after last week’s tribal council vote, with Jonathan trying to explain to Candice why he flipped back to Aitu. He says he was in a tiebreaker position and was trying to swing the vote and the game. She says she understands. Jonathan says if he can’t win, he’d rather have the Aitu people win, and thinks he made the right choice. In other words, he must really be regretting that mutiny, after he got to Raro and found a bunch of hormonal, shallow dimwits.
The Aitu four are gleeful about the vote, since they now have the majority in the new merged tribe. “We’re golden, guys,” Yul says, which worries me because foreshadowing may lurk where you least expect it. The Aitu people were scared that Jonathan might not join them, but Yul says he had wanted to use the immunity idol to swing the game in his favor, and he did so by using it to lure Jonathan. Although I’m frankly not sure how that was any sort of lure for Jonathan. It’s not like that idol helps him. I think it was more the utter idiocy of the Adam/Candice/Parvati trifecta that pushed him back to Aitu.
The old Raro three are, of course, less gleeful about losing Nate. And Parvati, at least, can’t hide it. She tells Jonathan to his face that she’s disappointed in him, that she feels sick to her stomach, that he has pissed everyone off, and she wants to throw up on his face. Jonathan says Yul showed him the idol, but they still don’t believe him. Are these people for real? I mean, you almost have to work at being that blind. Except that they don’t work at all.
“I think he’s a filthy, miserable rat,” Parvati says after Jonathan walks away.
The next day, Parvati watches in disgust and utter surprise as someone guts a fish. Jonathan cannot believe that in 28 days, she has never gutted a fish, or even watched as someone else did the dirty work. He says she’s a “lazy, selfish bitch” and that a million dollars would only make her more screwed up.
Adam, lounging with his harem of two, says that Jonathan sucks at life. Meanwhile, Jonathan tells Aitu it’s a social game and that he enjoys being with them more than with Raro. Ozzy rolls his eyes, mindful – as is everyone but Jonathan – that just days ago Jonathan betrayed them, choosing to go with Raro. And now he’s saying being with Raro is “like I’m in the clownhouse.”
Jonathan Sells Off Everyone’s Good Will
It’s reward challenge time, and today it’s the annual Survivor auction. Everyone has $500 theoretical dollars to blow on whatever Probst comes up with. Jonathan starts by buying a covered dish for $100, and finding it’s a hot dog, fries and beer – half of which he spills.
Jonathan also bids on a bubble bath with chocolate cake, competing with Parvati, who spends $360 to win it even though Jeff warns her Jonathan might be trying to make her spend all her money. Oddly, she has to take her bath right there in front of everyone, so for the rest of the auction, Parvati lobs comments in from a bathtub. That’s a bit surreal. “This day is my favorite day,” she says, from the tub.
Up next is a mysterious envelope that Jeff says will give them power in the game. Candice bids all her money, but Becky borrows money from Yul and wins it. “Why do you need it, Becky, you guys have the numbers,” Parvati says snidely, from the tub.
Because of this: the note says Becky must send one person to Exile Island immediately, and take their money. Jonathan – who obviously would have been sent had one of the Raro three won – looks delighted. Becky sends Candice.
Trying to make Candice feel better about her fourth trip to isolation, Jeff says there’s still the idea of the idol being out there. Candice says she thinks she knows where it is, and then Yul pipes up and offers to end the suspense by admitting he has it. Jeff asks if he has it on him, and Yul obligingly takes it out and shows it around. From the tub, Parvati declares that it “looks authentic,” as if she’s been asked to see if a diamond is real. Who made tub-girl the arbiter of the authenticity of an immunity idol? Where does she think he’d get a fake one? Some of that bubble bath must be between her ears.
Jeff asks why Yul would admit publicly to having it, but Yul says it helped him sway the numbers at a critical point in the game, so he’s not worried about everyone knowing. Candice is sent to Exile without even the hope of finding an idol – not that she even seemed to look for it the last few times she was there.
Back to the auction, Ozzy wins an ice cream maker, Jonathan again wins food – a pepperoni pizza, which he eats noisily behind Adam. Poor Sundra spends money on a mystery item that turns out to be a sea cucumber, and Jonathan – getting money from god knows where – wins toothpaste and mouthwash. And then Jeff says the auction is over.
I Guess Everyone Really Wanted That Pizza
We return to camp after a totally weird shot of a fish regurgitating … a half-chewed other fish. Ew. Is that supposed to be what Jonathan’s feeling like after a hot dog, beer and a whole pizza? Is there a point to be made here about nature imitating life and art imitating nature? Who knows. But it’s nasty.
At camp, people eye Jonathan like he IS a regurgitated fish. He talks about being full, being thirsty, and he belches loudly and smell-ily. Becky obviously smells it. After he leaves, everyone agrees he’s obnoxious. Becky and Sundra say they’d hate to see him n the final four.
Parvati, off in the woods with Adam, is excited by this. She thinks the Aitu alliance is cracking because Jonathan is just so insufferable – that’s my word, it’s too big for Parvati to have thought up – and she hopes there’s some hostility brewing.
Parvati also talks to Becky, and they agree Jonathan’s behavior at the auction – which everyone seems to think was cocky and arrogant – was revealing of his true personality. Parvati says if he got to the final four, she’d shoot herself. Then she says she’s trying to be persuasive, not pushy. Personally, I’d put Jonathan in the final four just to encourage Parvati to shoot herself, if I didn’t think she’d complain it was too hard.
But Jonathan has managed to irk everyone. Becky and Sundra and Yul talk, and say they really do dislike Jonathan, he was arrogant at the auction, it’s his true character, etc. When Jonathan comes upon them, they say they were talking about who to vote out next.
Jonathan can tell something’s up, however. He thinks Parvati and Adam have been whispering evil into his friends’ ears, and he doesn’t know to what degree things may have shifted.
And, a quick check-in on Candice in Exile – she’s crying. Again. She’s there for the fourth time, she misses Adam, she wants a hug. Wah. She thinks she’s next on the chopping block and so she needs immunity, and she wishes she didn’t feel so down. “Emotionally, I’m on the edge,” she says. I would highly encourage someone to push her over it.
Who Knew Adam Could Do Math?
At camp, they’ve received a clue to their immunity challenge. It will involve their past in this game. Adam says it’s important that he win because Jonathan is a dirty rat and he’d love to get some revenge. I hope he realizes the immunity necklace doesn’t give him absolute power. There’s still that whole “vote” thing.
They arrive at the challenge, Candice returns, and Jeff explains that they’ll be tested on how well they remember the events of the last 30 days. He’ll ask questions, the answers will be numbers, they’ll have to add or subtract those numbers. The result of this math will let them get a key to open a box and raise a flag. First three go on to the final round. The questions are things like, how many total number of pieces in the stepping-stone challenge, how many boxes smashed in this other challenge, how many days since the Aitu mutiny, etc.
Parvati, Adam and Jonathan are the first three, narrowly beating out Candice. They go on to the final round, which will be similar, except the key unlocks a timber tunnel, then they have to cross a pontoon bridge and raise a flag to win.
Adam, proving he CAN get off his lazy ass when necessary, takes the lead early, and even Parvati is ahead of Jonathan, but Adam wins immunity. Jonathan goes to shake his hand.
In Which Three Brain Cells Attempt Blackmail
Back at camp, Candice says it looks like her number is up. She’s upset to think Jonathan will get further in the game than she does, especially because everyone feels he’s “a snake.”
Raro makes an appeal to Yul, who they see as the ringleader of the old Aitu tribe. They shut up as Jonathan comes by with a flounder he caught and a snide comment about how if there was a fire going they could cook it. Then he walks off. Yul explains that Jonathan is predictable, because he’s selfish and rational. But Adam promises that if the rest of them – i.e. he, Candice and Parvati – are on the jury, they’ll all vote for Yul if he’s in the final two, IF he has Jonathan kicked out tonight. Yul says he isn’t the ringleader here, and then suddenly Jonathan is back out of nowhere, coming in behind Yul. Yul looks surprised, and I’m noticing that none of the Raro people signaled to Yul that Jonathan was approaching. Anyway, Yul peters out and says he can’t talk about that right now, and tells Jonathan with a shrug that the Raro people are doing what they should be doing. Yul says he’s just trying to be honest with everyone. Jonathan picks up something that apparently Adam was eating, which Parvati defends on Adam’s behalf, and then Adam says – in a totally ungenerous tone – that Jonathan can have it. Jonathan says he’ll go get firewood so they can cook the fish.
Privately, Jonathan says things are coming to a head and there is a “lot of silence, lot of glares.” He’s starting to get mad.
While Jonathan gets firewood, makes a fire and cooks the fish, the Raro threesome are off cuddling in the tent. It’s seriously icky; Adam has Candice on one side and Parvati on the other, and Candice tells Adam he missed his last chance to cuddle, since she thinks she’s going tonight. Adam kisses her, Parvati claims to be uncomfortable, and gets a peck on the forehead for her trouble. Unlike Parvati, I am not pretending to be uncomfortable, I really am.
Candice Goes For the Jugular
Outside the Hut of Love, the fish are done, and Jonathan asks the rest of Aitu whether ethically, they should share the fish with the lazy Raro three. Ozzy says no, there’s no free lunch. So they start eating. Adam distentangles himself from the women to peek out. “Are they eating?” he asks.
Candice, clearly the ballsier member of that couple, says that’s just wrong, and it’s going to come out at the tribal council. She storms out of the tent to confront the eaters. “Since when do you guys not share food?” she asks, adding that it’s arrogant and rude and she can’t believe it. No one’s stopping YOU from fishing, Candice.
Jonathan says it’s since she called him a disgusting rat and said he should be voted out. Candice, demonstrating the “when under attack, rat someone else out as a diversion” approach to argument, says that while Jonathan IS a rat and that he’s only out for himself, she isn’t the only one to think so. She points to Yul, telling Jonathan that Yul said he was selfish and predictable. Oh, snap, girlfriend! You know, if her group of three really wants Yul to vote their way, revealing things he said in private really isn’t helping.
Yul says she shouldn’t speak for him, and tries to spin his words to Jonathan, but Candice is having none of it. “You don’t like Jonathan, and you said that too. And all these people have said that, that they don’t like him.”
Jonathan is clearly uncomfortable, but tries to divert the conversation back to the issue of the fish. Candice claims everyone has a day when they lay around, but Jonathan says no, that he and the others work their asses off, and it’s just her three that sit on them. Candice says that’s because he’s trying to weasel his way in. Jonathan takes umbrage.
“How dare you imply that I’m behaving differently today than I have for the last 30 days?” he says. “It’s not true.”
At this point, the argument peters out, but it was pretty good while it lasted.
Later, Yul tells Becky he’s trying to figure out how to insulate himself from jury. He says his alliance can lose Jonathan and still be 4-3 over the Raroidiots, but Becky worries that after this, Raro will convince Yul to vote someone else off before them. Yul says he just wants the Raro folks to not hate him so they’ll vote for him against whoever else he goes up against in the end. As if he’s already on the final two. Becky looks at him as if this has dawned on her, as well. Better watch yourself, Yul.
The Hate, It Is Glorious
The bickersons head off to tribal council, where Jeff brings in the jury and its newest member, Nate, winks at Parvati.
Jeff asks about the auction, saying the turning point was sending Candice to Exile. Becky says she chose Candice because she’s a strong competitor.
Asked about what happened next, Ozzy says he looked for firewood, Jonathan fished, Candice/Adam/Parvati went into the tent, then they caused this big ordeal over the non-shared fish.
Parvati says the three know they’re on the outside, and that “apparently it pissed some people off that we weren’t helping around camp.” Um, you think? This isn’t high school, sweetie, where you could goof around with the football team then copy some poor nerd’s homework. You can’t copy firewood.
Adam says he thinks everyone but Jonathan is cool in camp, but he doesn’t care for Jonathan. Parvati – always more than willing to be the one to talk, isn’t she? -- says the more comfy Jonathan gets, the more he shows his true colors, and she’s more mature than he is.
Jonathan is mad, and says that five people work and three don’t, and those three are “basically waiting for the dinner bell,” and at some point it’s not right.
Candice thinks it’s arrogant, Adam tells Jonathan he’s a rat, and by this point the jury is slapping each other on the back and giggling.
Jonathan and Adam get into it, with Jonathan telling Adam that’s enough out of him, Adam saying – I think – that there’s no reason for Jonathan to be there, and Jonathan saying he earned his spot there.
Jeff says it’s clear there’s a tribe of three, a tribe of four, and Jonathan. Parvati says Yul is the puppet master. Yul says she can’t fault him for playing the game.
Jonathan says he’s in a better position than he was when he was with Raro. Candice says they’ve tried everything to break in with Aitu, but that the jury needs to know what’s really been going on around camp because it’s been ugly.
Finally, it’s vote time, and things go about as expected – the Raro three vote for Jonathan, and the other five vote for Candice. She’s out, and departs after a disturbingly long and public lip-lock with Adam. Ew, ew, ew.
But it was almost worth throwing up in my mouth a little for this response from Jeff, who says, “A kiss is nice. Maybe if it were love he’d have given you the immunity necklace.” Zing!
Candice, in her parting words, says she had a fabulous time, she’s comfortable with how she played, and the kiss was a nice way to leave.
Parvati cuts herself with a machete, so bad Jonathan doesn’t know if she can stay, and Yul gets pressure from all sides and feels like the godfather. In other words, more Jonathan drama and more hate. Yippee!