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Thread: Survivor: Exile Island - Standing in the Shadows, Episode 12

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    FORT Fogey hot_chocolate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shazzer View Post
    Did you notice how, when I jumped up and down, my boobs didn't jiggle at all? I just wanted to make sure that didn't go unappreciated. I wore a bikini top and everything.
    In fact, I've been practicing saying it loud all these weeks. "I am ultra-competitive and I'm going to do great at Survivor." See how well that works? Aren't you convinced? I sure am.

    And if things keep going my way, everybody on the jury is gonna love Cirie. Except maybe Shane. Crap. Maybe if I talk about what a great kid Boston is at the next tribal council, I can win Shane's vote. Still, I ain't worried. Come on now.
    Great job! Very entertaining!
    "In spite of all the temptation you have endured, all the suffering, you remain pure of heart, just as pure as you were at the age of eleven, when you stared into a mirror that reflected your heart's desire, and it showed you only the way to thwart Lord Voldemort, and not immortality or riches."

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    eternal optimist Shazzer's Avatar
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    Survivor: Exile Island - Standing in the Shadows, Episode 12

    Welcome to another edition of “Standing in the Shadows” for Panama: Exile Island! For those readers unfamiliar with it, each season our writers and mods “stand in the shadow” of a Survivor until their torch is snuffed. You get to read what we believe is really going on in the mind of each player. Without further ado. . . .

    Danielle
    Did you notice how, when I jumped up and down, my boobs didn't jiggle at all? I just wanted to make sure that didn't go unappreciated. I wore a bikini top and everything.
    Anyway, Terry's going to regret stiffing me out of a hug from my mom. That competitive side of me is going to come out now. I've kept it very well hidden up till now, pretending that I couldn't win challenges, that I didn't understand strategy, that I'm being "carried" in this game. Ha! That was all just a ploy to get everyone to underestimate me. They're all going to want to take me along to the final two, and then at that last tribal council with the jury, boom! I'm going to show them how skilled and competitive and athletic I was all this time. Sure, there's not a lot of athletic competition at the last tribal council, but I'm sure it will work to just say it out loud. In fact, I've been practicing saying it loud all these weeks. "I am ultra-competitive and I'm going to do great at Survivor." See how well that works? Aren't you convinced? I sure am.

    Shane
    Well how do you like that. Some alliance I had. All this time I was walking around, thinking everything was cool, believing all the crap they were shoveling my way. I'm talking to you, especially, Cirie. Oh noooo, don't worry, we're all good. Hee hee. We're not trying to pull a fast one on you, Shane. Uh huh. Final two my ass. You see where I'm sitting, don't you? Yep. Loser lodge. That's alright, though. I'm on the jury now, and just wait until I get my turn to grill you bunch of backstabbers. Blindside me, will you? Just wait. The more I sit here and think about it, the more pissed off I get. But I'm going to keep my cool, because I will get my revenge soon. I can't wait to get out of here and back to my kid, so he can take care of me. Er, so I can take care of him. Yeah. For now I'll just sit back and chow down on these chocolate ice cream bars, smoke a few cartons of cigarettes, and try to keep away from that damn Courtney.

    Cirie
    Ooh, my honey-bunny got to spend the night at camp with me! I know he looks like he could be my son, but's that just 'cause he dresses young. It's a family prerogative to show off as much cleavage as possible. Seriously, though, now that I've seen the spent-a-month-living-like-an-animal-in-the-jungle-Cirie through my hunny bunny's eyes, I realize just how superior I actually am. Why, I balanced on top of a 20-foot pole over the ocean and held my own in the competition! Many wonderful things are happening to Cirie right now, but my favorite has got to be sabotaging Terry's plans and then having him turn around and share in the luxury reward with me. He blames it all on Danielle! And she's next....KUNG FU CHOP! Then I'm just gonna sit back and let those two strappin' boys battle out who going to the final two with me. And if things keep going my way, everybody on the jury is gonna love Cirie. Except maybe Shane. Crap. Maybe if I talk about what a great kid Boston is at the next tribal council, I can win Shane's vote. Still, I ain't worried. Come on now.

    Terry
    Cue the Marvin Gaye music because I got it on! My reward challenge win could not have come at a better time (my neck was getting sore from the immunity necklace and I desperately needed a massage). Spending time with Trish was magical and since she is a Survivor nut, she helped me analyze the last week of the game. A big smooch to you darling. Winning these immunity challenges is becoming too easy. Have these kids not ever had to dig down deep and suck it up? It’s like they expect someone to hand the immunity necklace to them. Which brings me to Shane. Wow, his snuffing was a surprise to me. I had been gunning for Aras. Those two girls are sneaky and I better hit Danielle up for an alliance. Cire has too much power. How funny that of all the players, Miss Giggles is in control. Anyways, that’s all for now. Time to go stroke my ego immunity necklace.

    Aras
    There’s an old Aboriginal phrase, Nash-Ow *tongue clicks* chak-ahhh. It means, “the leather maker has firm sacks.” Which means nothing. Except....to the most ardent and wise Yoyo followers! (I’m talking to YOU! And these coconuts. I’m so hungry!) For reasons that only He knows, I saw that phrase in the sand when I made my morning trip to the latrine/Shane’s stump (shhh…don’t tell him. It makes Cirie erupt into that high-pitched dolphin-squeak giggling that makes nearby seagulls fly into trees. I would stop her, but think of the potential meals! And her vote.) Anyhow, so I saw that phrase in the sand, but soon became distracted by trying to draw with my own yellow “ink”. I was desperate for a T to cross, but made due by creating a miniature Tic Tac Toe board instead, using the “o” in Nash-ow. Which caused me to focus again, and that’s when I knew. Firm “sacks”. Terry. Shane. Both on the reward. Both with overinflated opinions of the power of their “sacks”. And both undeserving. One because he’s crazier than a hypnotized chicken, and another because he thinks he knows what’s best for everyone. Terry’s wife more important than my mother? Well excuse me, Terry, but bite MY sacks. It’s time for them to go. (Terry and Shane, not my sacks. I’d like to keep those.) Vote for me. Aras. A-R-A-S. (I can write that in the sand for you). You won’t regret it. And ladies? I can make you emit sounds like Cirie, and I won’t need to make fun of Courtney to do it.

    We would like to thank the following writers for contributing to this article: Critical, Dinahann, hepcat, Lucy, Mariner, mrdobolina, Shazzer, speedbump, SueEllenMishke, Suncat7, totoro, waywyrd and Yardgnome77.
    "If you're like me, you have a 'been there, done that' attitude when it comes to paleolithic paleontology." - Jon Stewart

    "I swear, you are the ho-ho ho." - OTS

  3. #3
    Gator Chompin' Ancient City's Avatar
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    As funny as ever, guys - thanks!

  4. #4
    everything under the sun lopevian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shazzer View Post
    Terry
    Cue the Marvin Gaye music because I got it on!
    I guess he did... At least three times that we know of.
    Great job everyone.
    "...Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder..."

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