Welcome to another edition of “Standing in the Shadows” for Panama: Exile Island! For those readers unfamiliar with it, each season our writers and mods “stand in the shadow” of a Survivor until their torch is snuffed. You get to read what we believe is really going on in the mind of each player. Without further ado. . . .
I can’t believe how hungry I am. I thought we would get more food than this but I am starving, we have not won any food rewards and it is just weakening our team. I went out and caught minnows, when I swallowed them I think I would rather have eaten another round of tainted beans. Dan told everyone today that he was an Astronaut, that is so cool, I
lovelike him almost as much as Terry. Our boy’s club alliance is still strong and nothing is going to break us up…except for the other team sending Sally to Exile Island and us being forced to vote out one of our own. Dan has to be the one to go, I have a tight alliance with Nick, and well Terry is my hero. giggle giggle This has become a young man’s game and Dan has been holding us back, as much as I hate to see him go it has to be him.
Yeah, I heard about Shane’s little tirade last night. Thank Gaia I chose to sleep on the beach by the empowering feng shui rock garden(it’s how I keep my face so stony)…if Shane had brought that stuff my way, I’da fire walked all over him. He thinks he doesn’t lash out and abuse people verbally. How dare he! The super secret girl power alliance will take him out, though. He’ll see who made the mistake. We all made a mistake by not getting rid of you when we could. Freak. Whew! Sorry about that…I had to vent so I don’t take my negative energy out on Mother Earth or one of her creatures. Yaaaay!! It paid off!! We kicked butt at today’s reward/immunity challenge. Those guys won me a trip to hang out with some real Panamanians, play with the kids, and maybe even perform some of my fire dancing. I know everyone wants to see that. And, ohmygoddess, THE FOOD!! I am soooooo happy right now. So happy. I can’t even tell you. Not even Shane’s lame attempt at recovering some karma with me and the other ladies can make me angry now. I’m well fed, well hydrated, I have some joy, and I’m not going anywhere fast. Life is good for Courtney. Thanks, Mother Gaia!
neighbortribemate! It’s another beautiful day in the neighborhoodcamp. How are you doing today? Wouldn't you like to be my neighbor in the real world? I have a secret for you. Can you keep a secret? Well, it's not [i]that[/] big of a secret since I already told Terry, but it's still a secret from everyone else. We're buddies, right? Ok, well, you see, I've been here before. Not exactly standing on this beach...no, I have been here before, but 250 miles straight up...in space. That's right, I didn't just work on the space shuttle--I flew on it. That makes me a pimp, eh? I should have told you all earlier. It’s, well, it’s because I just wanted to be Dan, not “the astronaut guy” Oooooo! You can see where I’m coming from, can’t you? It’s a bummer I’m not better at puzzles and couldn’t prevent us from losing the reward/immunity challenge. You’d think the mind of an astronaut would be a little sharper, I mean, I do have to make re-entry calculations that could mean life or death, but whatever. Well, boys, I understand. I understand why I’ve got to take one for the team. I’ll do it for Johnny! For Johnny!!! I love you guys(especially you, Terry)…you came to me like men, and told me my fate. I understand. Really. I do. Really. Dammit.
Sometimes I wish I were the equivalent of the tribe’s Walmart greeter because making managerial decisions sucks. Dan Fuego and I have craploads in common what with all our flying experience. It about killed me to have to vote him out after Casaya granted Sally immunity. Sacrificing him was just like swallowing a big old mouthful of those salty minnows or eating some of those beans. It wasn’t pleasant but it was necessary. Being in charge of La Mina is beginning to seem like being the manager of the Chicago Cubs. No matter how hard I work in the challenges, we always seem to come up a little short. Game Seven of the World Series? More like losing on the last day of the regular season and just missing the playoffs. I’m afraid I’m going to have to use my little immunity friend to save me a lot earlier than I’d like after a merge; that is unless I use it to brain that asshat Shane who seemed to think we were playing rugby during the challenge.
*inhaling* Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. This has got to be the best cigarette I've ever had. I've gone fifteen days without, man. It was probably a bad decision, but right now I don't care. I've been so cranky lately, and I was pissed off at everyone. I talked bad about my man Bruce, argued with Danielle all night, and ran Courtney out of the shelter. I even asked them all to release me from our alliance, and give me my kid's name back. But after eating all this great food and getting some sweet nicotine back in my system, it's all good. I even apologized to Danielle, and we're all feeling the love. This tribe is gonna kick some ass, I'm telling you. Come here, Cirie! *smooch* This is the best I've felt since I got here. Hey, man...I'll trade you my underwear for another one of those cigarettes!
Still, no respect from the young grasshoppers. The crazy one, Shane, talked badly about me even though I was right there in the shelter! I'm old and falling apart, he says. I shall show him who's falling apart. Then, I had to spend most of the morning repairing my zen garden after the young female with the strange hair slept there. It took me hours to restore the good karma! *shakes head* The young ones must be enlightened if we are to succeed. They saw how well I did in the challenge, solving the puzzle with my superior skills. I will teach the grasshoppers to respect their sensei!
I can’t believe Dan waited this long to tell us he’s an astronaut. Seriously! That is soooo cool! He got to go up in space and fly around and stuff. Man, I’ve got nothin’. I’ve done nothin’, except that one time on spring break in Cabo… no, I better not talk about that right now. I wish Sally hadn’t been sent to Exile Island, 'cause we could have voted her out for sure, and kept our tribe of four men. It was hard voting Dan out- especially since he was so great about the whole thing. Plus, astronaut is, like, the coolest job ever! I’m going to miss him, but this is a competition, and he totally tanked the puzzle challenge, so he had to go. All I know is that I've gotta keep rocking the challenges hard like I have been so there's no way Austin and Terry can turn on me, like they did Dan. At least, I hope they won't turn on me. Man, we've got to start winning some challenges, or there’s gonna be nothing left of this tribe!
I’m not really a girly girl, but right about now, I’d love to have someone to talk to about fashion, manicures, pedicures, and what’s happening with TomKat. A girl can only take so much burping and farting before she starts to long for a spa. The boys are, well, being boys. I almost expected them to put a “No Girls Allowed” sign on our shelter. What they don’t know is that my long black socks are hiding the soccer shin guards I smuggled on to the island. They can kick me, but they can’t keep me down. I was so positive Dan and I would be able to solve that puzzle. He’s an astronaut for God’s sake. Oh well, Casaya saved my bacon and sent me to Exile Island for a little girl time. Now, I really need to go and see if I can find that hidden immunity idol. I’m sure no one else has found it.
Life is good for Cirie right now...real good. We won the combo luxury/immunity challenge, I got to eat some BBQ and smile at kids, and - get this- Shane wants out of his alliance! Actually, what Shane wants is his son's name to be given back, which I was kinda relieved to hear. I mean, that man has been freely throwing his son's name around since we all got here, and I was starting to worry about the safety of this kid. At least Shane takes getting back his son's name as seriously as he does giving it. But really, who does that? My mama would whoop me if she heard me flinging my son's name around like that. Heck, my son would whoop me. But whatever, the point is that Cirie is all set, babies. I'm not even worried about Shane trying to kiss butt in the village. I saw him pulling a Snoop Dogg on that cigarette... he played with fire, and the DT's are gonna kick in again. Crazy Shane... you are the weakest link! Buh-bye.
Ahhhh. Balance. It is again mine for the taking. Yoyo has always blessed me with the ability to magnetize all goddesses. Big or small, Ox-like or whispy, the fair ones have always yearned to dance their fingertips across my well-groomed, hairless, full-moon nipples. And it is no different here. The women choose my agile form to entwine when darkness ascends. Bruce? Distantly curled in a child's pose near my left foot. Shane? Alone. In a corner. As he should be. Palm fronds the only barrier between his male parts and the night creatures that will soon attack its scent. (Yes. For I feel certain that his angry and foolish words towards Danielle gaurantee Yoyo retribution. And I know all too well...Yoyo retribution can be......unpleasant. *gulps and remembers Dream Quest stump vomit*) Cirie? Ms. Beautiful Mother goddess found comfort in my protective biceps, pulling me closely, her lips dangerously close to my aforementioned (and very sensitive I might add) nipple area. The tingling.....intense. And Danielle? She flanked my other, sinuous side, creating the final layer in our nighttime love sandwich. Cirie and Danielle the whole grain pita, me as the seasoned, basil hummus in the middle. In fact, the more Shane agitated Danielle, the closer her yang moved towards my ying. And who are we to keep them separated? It is against nature itself! Plus, I really know how to work my ying. Yet another way Yoyo has blessed me. And the blessings continued. For although Shane began his day foolishly, he ended it well. He clearly alligned with his chi for the puzzle challenge, and *gong* he got it. And we won! Full of chicken, rice, and nicotine.....Casaya is the paper tiger no more!!!
Shane's my bitch now! At first, he simply was one, then he became mine. It all began when I was trying to sleep, snuggled up to Aras for a little shut-eye and maybe.....some grab ass. And Shane started to mouth off to me. What the hell? You talkin' to ME? He was all up with, "We should have gotten rid of Bruce. I want my son's life back. I want to be held by Aras!" Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Get off of me! So....whatever. He doesn't like me or Courtney and wants his son's life back? Fine. He can have it, along with a punch to the head. The next morning, Courtney found out, and we were both like, "dude's gotta be axed." Cirie must have agreed because she just kept giggling. So...she's totally with us. But then, during the combo challenge? Shane gets his s*** together long enough to haul ass on that puzzle. And we WON! So like, we go and kick balls and eat chicken with some people, and then...he totally gets his first hit of nicotine in fifteen days. Suddenly..it's like....he's all over me! He's all touchin' me and tellin' me he's sorry and that it's me and him to the end, kind of like my old boyfriend used to do. He knew he had to kiss my ass to get back in the game...and he did. Ha! I totally own him and this game. Now that I've got Courtney and Cirie on my side.....there's no way this will all backfire!
We would like to thank the following writers for contributing to this article: Dinahann, hepcat, Lucy, Mariner, mrdobolina, Shazzer, speedbump, SueEllenMishke, Suncat7, totoro, wayward and Yardgnome77