Last week Binky became disinterested in the goings on of the show and ascended to a higher plane. A couple of native Palauns stopped by and taught the survivors the most basic concepts of fishing and caught them a bunch of fish. They all enjoyed a big feast and after the cameras were turned off they had a huge orgy*. Coby melted down in front of everybody and in a stunning display of self-delusion was actually surprised when he was voted off.
There are many questions for this week, will Steph be voted out because she's the Ulong outsider? Will Tom be eliminated for being the largest threat? Will the others finally tire of Janu's inactivity and send her home before she dies? Will immunity ruin any carefully laid plans? And the biggest question of them all, with Binky gone does anyone care?
* I made that part up.
How sad is it that Ulong has the clean camp?
"I tried to cry when I wasn't voted off but I was too dehydrated. I'm dying here people, just let me go home!"
"Janu scared me last night, I thought she was going to lose it when we didn't vote her off. Then I remembered that she can barely raise her arms above her head and I relaxed".
"Why are you talking behind my back? If you have something to say why don't you say it to my face? Why are you playing games?".
"Because this is a game, you do remember we're on Survivor right?".
Ooo, look at the chin-fuzz, I think Ian's hitting puberty at long last!
"I don't care who deserves to be here. If you have a roll in my strategy then you deserve to be here. Hmmm, I guess I do care who deserves to be here".
"For today's reward challenge you will build a tower. You will take a disk one at a time from one pile and move it to another pile. No disk can be placed on a smaller disk. We call this challenge the Hanoi Challenge".
"These goggles remind me of the glasses I wore before I got laser surgery".
"Caryn and Janu, still being lazy".
In a modern culture
My friend you must be careful
They've a million ways to kill you
In this dangerous world
There's an art to growing old
These guys rock!
"I guess old habits die hard".
"We brought you a doggy bag!"
"Of course, I'm going to need your votes from the jury".
"We just came back from the feast Janu couldn't keep down when she said she wanted to have some more. I guess she hasn't thrown up enough yet today".
"So we're eating their leftovers and Janu sticks her hand in there and grabs a piece. It took all my will power to control myself and not stab her with my fork!"
Why do I have this image of trying to take the food bowl away from a cat?
And one for the ladies.
"Why won't anyone sit near me?"
"Because you won't use the deodorant we won".
"But it says 'made for a woman' right on it".
"The first person to bail on this challenge will face the ultimate test of fear. They will be abandoned on a beach to spend one night alone".
"One night? Is that it? I did one night standing on my head. That's easy, heck Janu could do that!"
Close your mouth Katie that's just not a good look.
"Hey Jeff. I think the water's actually getting lower".
"You're kidding? OK, can we get someone to check the tide charts".
"Are you starting to panic?"
"It's like I have the power, the power of suggestion. Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha".
"The water's completely covering everybody's ears and now it's starting to creep up to their mouth and eyes".
Who are you talking to Jeff? If their ears are under water they can't hear you.
All the women gave up? What's up with that?
"Tom making a hand-snorkel".
That's tricky (if it works). I like this guy.
"That's it, Tom wins immunity! Hey someone poke Tom, let him know he won".
And another one for the ladies. I don't normally do two "Tom shots" in one week but I think I forgot last week.
"Hey who's that?"
"Hang on she turned sideways, you can't see her".
"I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I get it started but then it goes out. I'm using really fresh wood".
I wonder if CBS has insurance in case Janu burns down the whole island.
When the Ulong fishing team is away, the tiny fish will play.
Tom, you moron! You had the TIKS alliance, it was strong. Get rid of Janu and you've got a majority so you can pick off the other three. You and Ian are tight and would be able to get Katie to vote with you to kick out Steph, then you team with Katie and backstab Ian and vote him out. That leaves you and Katie as the final two and who in the jury is going to vote for Katie? But! Noooooooooooo. You have to go and piss off Stephenie. I was pulling for you but you just blew it. I'm pulling for Steph now!"
"Stephenie conquers Ulong then she comes in and conquers Koror and we all want to prevent that from happening".
Not me, not now, it's Steph all the way for me.
Go Stephenie, go! Go Stephenie, go! Go Stephenie, go!
"Hey Janu, how was it?"
"Did she say 'great'?"
"Yah, is she standing up by herself?"
"Yah she is, what the hell happened out there?"
Hey! Where'd they get an onion?
"We all agreed that it's Janu tonight and Janu wants it to be her, but for some reason I have a feeling it's me".
That's because you're perceptive.
"Janu, you spent the night alone, how did you do?"
"I did great! I made a fire. I danced on the beach. I realized that it's not living in these conditions that's the problem it's the people I'm living with".
"Everyone wished you good luck, did you buy it?"
"No. They are all a bunch of two faced laying rats. They are all a bunch of horrible people and I can't stand being around them anymore".
"Caryn, you look like you're about to attack".
"I'm getting so upset with Janu I'm almost considering voting her out".
"Steph, what's wrong?"
"I just pulled a muscle in my eye".
"Janu, why should they keep you?"
"They shouldn't, they should vote me out. I don't want to be here. I hate them, I hate them all. I want to leave".
"You almost seem like you want to go home".
"I do, are you not listening to me? I want to go home! I don't know how I can be any clearer than that!"
"I will lay down my torch so Stephenie can stay in the game".
"Don't martyr yourself for me. I've got a big enough target on my back as it is".
"I know that but you're forgetting something".
"I hate you!"
"Oops, I think I just messed up!"
You bet your ass you messed up! You had this game, you had it in the palm of your hand and then you just threw it away. Get off my screen, I don't even want to look at you anymore.
Nothing funny to add, I just wanted to get a shot of Coby in.