Itís been a rough few days with all the losing going on. We got rid of Bubba, but Iím determined to keep Rory around. He may be a cocky little guy without a clue on how to actually talk to people, but we need his muscle. No, not that muscle Chrissy, I havenít changed that much. I smiled and nodded while he gave his cheesy little speech before the reward challenge, but I really hope he learns to shut up, or it will be harder to convince people to keep him. Eliza completely gave up during the reward challenge, then later tried to spin it to look like it was Scouts fault. Yes, if Scout werenít there then Eliza could have manned the gate and we wouldnít have lost. I basically told her to quit whining and stop with the excuses. I was nicer than that. Immunity was just as bad. I pulled my weight (again), and Rory did a great job, but this time Leanne gave up and we lost. I guess it would have been easy to vote off Leanne or Eliza, but Lisa had to say she wanted to walk with me ďincase youíre not here tomorrowĒ. Couldnít let that slide, so I told her I was voting for her. Iím nothing if not forthright. It was easy to get Rory on board, and we got the votes we needed. Bye-Bye Lisa, if I canít trust ya, youíre gone.
Rory was clearly the one to vote out. It was bad enough that he had a fit and fell in it, and sat on his pity potty. I know that he helped us make up ground in the Immunity Challenge, but the man wouldnít stop talking about his crack. I overheard him talking to a cameraman a couple times about him finding his little tiny crack. How is it that men can overstate the size of one part of their anatomy, yet so blatantly understate another? At least at Tribal Council he admitted that his tail was hanging out Ė Iím just glad he sat behind me so I didnít have to witness it.
Now that the ladies have voted differently than I, it would seem that perhaps I was only half right last week; I am a miniscule mote of dust, but Iím not as integral as I thought. I canít believe that the rest of them voted to eliminate Lisa. They were supposed to vote for Rory. How could they not trust Lisa Ė especially after she swore on my own two hands? I should have read them something from the book of Palms to help them see the light.
I donít like being bad at things, folks. Itís just not me. I mean that literally: itís not me, itís Scout! If only weíd booted her instead of that corn-shucking hick, we could have won the Immunity Challenge easily. I could have been the gatekeeper and everything would have worked out just fine. Bubbaís probably used to all that muck, and come on, you canít expect me to be thrilled about diving in the mud in my designer bikini. Anyway, I tried to point out how silly it is to keep Scout around when she canít do much of anything in the challenges, but Ami just chopped me off at the knees. She actually said that I wasnít confident about myself. What does that have to do with catching pigs? Sheesh, file that under pointless advice. Once again we were marched into Tribal Council due to the lameness of a single team memberÖbut Iím not complaining. If it couldnít be Scout, then by all means, letís vote out Miss Airbags. Yay team!
What? What, what, WHAT?!? What more could anyone want from me? Were my teeth not Regis-Philbin-ly blinding enough? Was my bikini top not adequately filled? Were my gospel medlies lacking in soul? Could my cheers have been any perkier? Was there fatter hog in the pen than the one I wrestled into submission? Was it Lisa who blew the reward challenge while picking her cutesy boy shorts out of her crack? Was it Lisa who was treading water uselessly while our immunity hopes died? The answer is no. No, no, NO!! But the man didn't go home. Skeletor didn't go home. That woman whose name I can't remember didn't go home. Lisa was sent home. Stupid Ami and and her witchy woman ways! I tell you, she's got powers. You know what, Ami? Trust this!
Oh, boy, I am lovin' this new team! Bein' with men is just awesome. 'Specially that Sarge. Whew, but he's a good-lookin' man! He and I got a bond already. We went out in the jungle to chop down plantains, and he let me stand on his shoulders, and handed me the machete -- well, I just plain got goosebumps, it was so romantic. And he was settin' on the beach talkin' about how now we women are here, he has these dreams.... I know he was talkin' about me. Sure, that other little chick is sunbathin' nekkid, but Sarge is the type to want a real woman. A woman who can work a 16-hour day on the road crew and still put on a clean flannel shirt for her man. And that's me. He's done promised to bring me into his alliance. That's love right there.
I let the ladies know the minute we got back from Tribal Counsel that I was not happy with my neck on the chopping block. The next morning after tree mail I told them I would not continue to work around camp if I didn't have a shot at staying. Even as I spoke the words I could not convince myself of what I said. What a hokey speech. Hopefully I swayed one or two of the ladies. I just need an in; a tiny crack to weasel in and divide the women. Reward challenge was a pit full of pigs with the winners getting steak and eggs. Our tribe grabbed a bunch of muddy pigs and I proved my worth by bringing in the pork. Eliza took her sweet time strutting around in her mudfree bathing suite and we lost. My efforts could mean nothing to the women. Steak and eggs would hit the spot but three more days on the island would satisfy me more. The immunity challenge was exhausting but again I showed the women where my loyalties are by catching us up to Lopevi. Leeann wore herself out quickly and left the tribe hangin' by treading water instead of finishing off her part of the challenge. My chances of staying on the island just got better. Between Leeann and Eliza there should be enough of a fissure to cleave this group of women in two. Several names have come up as the next to leave Yasur. Mine is not one of them. Lisa seems to have gotten on Ami's bad side. I am thrilled! What the heck?! I got three of the seven votes. Only Lisa got more votes and I narrowly escaped. I need a better cleaving tool or I will soon be gone.
This new Lopevi tribe is really coming together. We are dominating the challenges, and I was really proud of the way I was able to catch some pigs too, just like everyone with good shoes. Our teamwork is incredible. Scott works hard around camp. Twila seems like one of the guys, though Sarge scares me the way he keeps talking about dressing her up. Speaking of Sarge, he seems to have a lot of nasty dreams he keeps talking about. I donít think I really want to know about those. John flexes a lot, but it is all good natured, and Julie, well she really doesnít do anything but sunbathe. It is really good for morale though, and I just need to remember to sit with the sun behind me next time. Things are looking good right now, thanks to the Stone.
Well as much as we didnít need the females, itís nice to have them around .They even did well in the pig toss event. Our ultimate victory resulted in a lovely stint at the mess .Everyone knows an army runs on itís stomach , and the sight of all that red meat was glorious. The sight of the meat on Julie out of uniform was just as exciting to the rest of the men. , but I prefer my females to be more useful to the unit. I like Twila and would even take her out sometime with a dress on , even though everyone knows John would look better in some heels. We were also victorious at the immunity where I beat out that useless ex member of our squad Rory. Life at camp Lopevi couldnít be better.
It sure is nice having a pretty girl to gawk....I mean to admire. But I know that a cute young thing like that can easily fly under the radar. Nice try, sister, but you need to get up preeeetty early in the morning to pull a fast one on me. My eye is fixated on the moolah! We easily won the RC and IC. Again I was instrumental in winning both challenges. What would my team do without me? I'm just THAT good. Oh, I can smell the million dollars. Ugh...or maybe it's just Sarge's rancid body odor that I'm smelling.
Yeah, baby! Lopevi just keeps on winning! Not only do we win another challenge, but we get steak and eggs as our reward? Sweet! Then, if that wasn't enough of a reward, we're treated to seeing Julie laying out on the beach in the buff (that's "nekkid", if you're from Bubba's corner of the world)! In addition, we win the Immunity Challenge yet again. Could life get any better? Well, I don't know about the rest of these guys, but I know life will get better for me when Jeff announces I'm the winner of Suvivor: Vanuatu...
Hi there, Survivor fans! It's me, Leann. What? You don't recognize me? Come on, I'm the lady that you never see! Oh, never mind. Listen, I have something important to say. I bring you a warning from this land of darkness and ash . . . if you want to try the "under the radar" strategy, do not abandon it midway through the game. It kind of, you know, takes the whole point away. I wish I had known then what I know now. . . . *sigh* How was I to know that you shouldn't volunteer for a physically exhausting water challenge if you can't swim well? *sniff* Now I just know I'm going home tonight, and I can't blame them. Would you trust someone you'd hardly ever noticed before, who in her one big limelight moment becomes the scapegoat? That's right, I wouldn't, either. I've probably saved the skin of that scapepig, Eliza. Wait a minute--what's that, Ami? Vote out Lisa instead? Sure thing! Ok, that's all. Heed my words of wisdom; I'm going to go hide again.
It's Thursday. Which means: naked day. Naked, naked, nekked. Now that I'm the only woman he....oh yeah Twila, it's time to take advantage of the power of booty. Booty power: BP all the way. I don't care what it takes, I can't trust Twila, I can't trust the men, and if flashing my goods gets me further in the game, then so be it. Thank God for the steak and eggs, thank God for immunity, and thank God for Coppertone: my secret weapon. All I need to do is stay nice and shiny, and the final four is mine. No more whiny Eliza, no more bickering ladies, and three sweet more days under the giant glowing orb.
The contributors, in alphabetical order: Bill, Bravo, cali, eny, Feifer, hepcat, Ilikai, Lobeck, Lucy, Manny, MissF, Paulie, Shazzer, sher, spegs, Stargazer, Wayner, and Zaius