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Thread: Paulie's Precaps - Episode 11: A Pig Surmise...And Its Brother

  1. #11
    COMBAT MISSIONS junkie! BravoFan's Avatar
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    I'm so glad I waited until the end of the day so I could read this at leisure.

    I have no idea why this made me laugh so hard:
    “Come on, Big Fella,” Burnett says softly. “Let’s go get you a milk shake.”

    Fantastically funny as usual Paulie. And now I am ready for Survivor again!
    "They can only edit what you give them. They cannot manufacture a fictional character out of thin air." (Bill Rancic - 4/04)
    Regarding editing reality TV: "You can't edit IN a bad personality." ("Cali"-11/02)
    BB8 - A "conveyor belt of human garbage." ("Pono" - 9/07)

  2. #12
    For Your Entertainment lobeck's Avatar
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    Excellent job, Paulie!

  3. #13
    Combat Missions Fan Wolf's Avatar
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    Paulie, you're precaps keep getting better and better.
    Some of my favorite quotes:
    Let me get you your fries, and I’ll see if I can take my break while you eat. Yes, it appears that I can sit with you for a few minutes.
    Times must be hard since you're moonlighting at a fast-food restaurant.

    Usually, Brian or Ted are on-hand to frighten away the aggressive little sand crabs or carnivorous beetles that continually try to wrestle Clay away to their sandy lairs for future consumption

    “Yes!” he growls. “And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for those meddling Red Berets.

    .

  4. #14
    labtech
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    Very well done Paulie!!!!!!

  5. #15
    Soccer Kicks Balls cali's Avatar
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    “Poor little bull kay-elp,” she wails. “They’re all day-ed. I’m going to hold a funeral.”
    ++++
    Helen’s head jerks robotically in response to Jan’s comment. “Actually, Jan, I’m not at all sure we’re looking at bull kelp. That particular algae - whose scientific name is Nereocystis leutkeana, by the way - grows primarily in rocky subtidal regions. And did you know that bull kelp can grow up to two feet per day, making it the world’s fastest-growing plant?”
    ++++
    Back at the Cemetery for Beach Creatures Who Died of Natural Causes, Jan is carefully weaving through the mine field of little stick crosses that mark the locations of the seventy or eighty bodies she’s buried
    ++++
    Helen squirms in excitement and breaks into a trot as the voice begins to retreat further into the jungle. Soon, she is nowhere in sight. Only the ghostly voices of the food-loving pas de deux can be heard, but soon even those sounds fade. “Pour mixture into bag with chicken. Seal and refrigerate...”
    ++++
    “Chuay Gal!” Brian whispered. “Wow, how ya been, Baby?” His eyes dance in excitement
    ++++
    Usually, Brian or Ted are on-hand to frighten away the aggressive little sand crabs or carnivorous beetles that continually try to wrestle Clay away to their sandy lairs for future consumption
    ++++
    All them Chuay Gahns are tighter than a can of sardines and just as stupid
    ++++
    Clay sighs in relief and heads over to Jeff. “Where are you going, Clay?” Jeff asks. “We still need to open your door.” He grins like a skull.

    “But...but...” Clay whimpers.

    “Shut it, Small Man!” Jeff cries. “Door Number Three, Shrimpy. Move it!”

    Clay cowers in front of the door. He’s curled up in a standing fetal position, whining like a tiny toy airplane
    Wow, It’s been a great evening. I’m catching up on all my reading and it’s a BLAST!
    Only quoted some of my favorites Paulie….Awesome job. Again, loved the entire opening paragraph
    "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something' -- Mitch Hedberg

  6. #16
    FORT Fan DamonVictor's Avatar
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    I bow to greatness Paulie

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