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Thread: Magilla Monkey Shines Theory

  1. #21
    Princess
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    Bill, that is funny! - Thanks for pointing it out!!

  2. #22
    Starbucks is your friend Bill's Avatar
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    This just in from the Thai news agency...

    Hungry monkeys invade Thai village
    11/11/2002

    Bangkok (dpa) - Hungry monkeys have invaded a village in northeastern Thailand, breaking into homes, stealing food and biting the village headman, provincial officials said Monday.

    Virat Boontod, a provincial administration official in Yasothon province, said about 500 pig-tailed monkeys had been making frequent raids on Taohai village, 430 kilometres northeast of Bangkok, because there was not enough food in the jungle during the current dry season.

    He said the monkeys managed to get inside many homes through windows or by scratching holes in villagers' roofs.

    ``They steal chicken and duck eggs and any other food they can find,'' Virat said in a telephone interview. ``Now the villagers are getting fed up with the monkeys. Some of them are using slingshots to drive them away.''

    He said one big domesticated monkey was pressed into service to guard an entrance to the village, but it was outnumbered by the simian invaders, who found other ways in.

    Last week the village's leader was bitten in the thigh by one of the invaders and had to get rabies shots.

    ``The hungry monkeys get some food from local (Buddhist) temples, but it's not enough,'' Virat said. ``We're going to ask for food donations to feed them and we'll ask the district administration to provide a budget for them.''
    I think we can ignore the threat no longer. Clearly the Magilla crime family is spreading their influence throughout southeast asia.

    It is time to allow Jake to do, what he does soooo well...
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  3. #23
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    I think we can ignore the threat no longer. Clearly the Magilla crime family is spreading their influence throughout southeast asia.
    "Crime family"!!!! I'm dying over here.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

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  4. #24
    The race is back! John's Avatar
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    - The Magilla Crime Family. Now look what I've started...

    I can see Koko, leaning through the bars of her cage, talking about "the family" with a gravelly Marlon-Brando-voice.

  5. #25
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    Remember my friend, don't cross the monkey! *thick accent, followed by woo hoo eee eee eee*
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

  6. #26
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    And, speaking of "allegedly" in the original article (which I just read), which is the "alleged" part?

    Fifteen monkeys allegedly invaded Government House, in Awka, Anambra State, broke into the state governor's office and destroyed some stationery materials and his tea pot.
    Some possibilities:

    1) Fifteen is not the right number of monkeys.
    2) They were not mere monkeys.
    3) They didn't invade; they were invited.
    4) They broke into a room other than the governor's office.
    5) They destroyed something other than stationery and the teapot.
    6) They did go after the stationery and teapot, but did...something else.

    So maybe the real story is:

    "An unruly mob of twenty orangutans were invited to the governor's mansion, where they broke into the master bedroom and defecated in his teapot before wiping up with the governor's stationery, destroying his private video collection, and escaping with his cutlery and an antique Betamax VCR."

    I think the monkeys' reign of terror is just going to get worse...
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

  7. #27
    Princess
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    I can see Koko, leaning through the bars of her cage, talking about "the family" with a gravelly Marlon-Brando-voice.

    Clearly something is going on here! Did you see this one?

    SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Koko, California's famous "talking" gorilla, is breaking into song. The 31-year-old lowland gorilla, who is said to have mastered some 1,000 terms in American sign language, has "written" lyrics for a new album which should be available by the end of the week, her keepers said on Tuesday.

    "The songs show a real depth of emotion. She's a complex person, just like we are," said Jennifer Patterson, a spokeswoman for the California-based Gorilla Foundation near San Francisco that has been Koko's home for some three decades.

    The album, entitled "Fine Animal Gorilla" after Koko's term for herself, runs the gamut of musical styles from low intensity rap and reggae to lullabies.

  8. #28
    Ultra Concealed Lurker Invisigoth's Avatar
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    Uh oh. If Koko is singing - she may bring the whole family down.

    I predict that she will get whacked soon. Sort of a retribution thing.
    There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

  9. #29
    LG.
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    Though several notably bad singers have survived thus far on S5. Helen's holiday classics, Jan's see-ya-wouldn't-wanna-be ya seranade, Ted's rain forest roar, Brian's drunken warbling, methinks the Magilla family is a fan of lousy singing.
    Help fight cystic fibrosis or just learn more about it at the cystic fibrosis foundation website, www.cff.org and help give my little guy a better future.

  10. #30
    Sexy evil genius Paulie's Avatar
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    I predict that she will get whacked soon.
    I'm with you there, Invisigoth. Canaries always get whacked.
    When you're ten years old and a car drives by and splashes a puddle of water all over you, it's hard to decide if you should go to school like that or try to go home and change and probably be late. So while he was trying to decide, I drove by and splashed him again. - Jack Handey

    Read Paulie's Precaps for Survivor:Vanuatu: 1-2-3-4-5

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