The Surreal Life 4/3/05 - Dullest "Dirty Laundry" Ever
Five or six weeks ago, VH1 decided to air part 1 of a two part episode about the surreal cast making a 3 minute short kung fu film. It was a lame episode where they appointed GoGo Jane as the director (though she has zero experience in film or television) and the group set off to practice. Shortly after, Chyna’s loser exboyfriend shows up, drags her outside and makes her cry. The group interrupts them after several hours and drag her back in the house and kick out Sean – though Chyna claimed she wanted to leave with him. Much crying ensued. I was not riveted. I was bored.
Though part I was lackluster, I tuned in the following Sunday to watch part 2 of the kung fu film. You know what? It wasn’t on. I believe there was a Celebrity Fit Club marathon in its place. That show sucks. Badly.
Then the next week passes… and another week. Finally, on Easter Sunday, VH1 decides to play part 2. Granted, by now I can barely remember the bore of part 1. So basically, part 2 was a lot of complaining about Jane’s lack of ability until they impeached her as director. The group made a lame-o kung fu film where Top Model Adrianne finally gets to make out with Brady Chris. That is all. I waited 5 or 6 weeks for that drivel? Unbelievable.
So this week on The Surreal Life, it’s time for the infamous “Dirty Laundry” episode with Sally Jesse Raphael. The paper arrives telling the group to get dressed because they would be heading to the race tracks. Da Brat thinks going to the horse races is seedy and refuses, so I’m not really sure (nor do I really care) what she did while the group watched the races. Anyway, while they were there, they knew the living room was being set up as the stage for “Dirty Laundry” and none of them were looking forward to it.
Why? I have no idea… because this was the cleanest dirty laundry ever.
When the roomies arrive back at the mansion, Jane starts to have a panic attack – I have to presume she was worried that he seedy secret as a fetish club favorite was about to be displayed for the world. Granted, I never find out because they don’t show any “dirty laundry” about Jane. Or Chris. Or Marcus.
We get to see replays of a moody Mini me, but nothing new was revealed. We get to see Da Brat calling everyone has beens. Nothing new there. We get to see Sean turning Chyna into a weepy puddle of goo. Nothing new there. We get to see that Adrianne has her heart set on bagging a Brady. Wow. Big revelation. (Granted, the Adrianne/Chris thing added the only new footage. Apparently, at some point unbeknownst to the others, Adrianne and Chris had a makeout session in the back of the surreal van.) And after it was over, the only pissed off roommate was Jane, whose feelings were hurt because Da Brat think she’s a has been… and funny that Jane is deluded to think that she isn’t.
Anyway, that was that. Another boring episode. I can’t believe they didn’t even replay Verne’s day one peeing in the corner episode. At least that would have been worth repeating.
Tune in next week (or don’t) for what promises to be another dull (but thankfully final) episode of Surreal Life. Shame on VH1 for screwing up what could have potentially been the funniest season to date.