The Surreal Life 4/3/05 - Dullest "Dirty Laundry" Ever

Five or six weeks ago, VH1 decided to air part 1 of a two part episode about the surreal cast making a 3 minute short kung fu film. It was a lame episode where they appointed GoGo Jane as the director (though she has zero experience in film or television) and the group set off to practice. Shortly after, Chyna’s loser exboyfriend shows up, drags her outside and makes her cry. The group interrupts them after several hours and drag her back in the house and kick out Sean – though Chyna claimed she wanted to leave with him. Much crying ensued. I was not riveted. I was bored.

Though part I was lackluster, I tuned in the following Sunday to watch part 2 of the kung fu film. You know what? It wasn’t on. I believe there was a Celebrity Fit Club marathon in its place. That show sucks. Badly.

Then the next week passes… and another week. Finally, on Easter Sunday, VH1 decides to play part 2. Granted, by now I can barely remember the bore of part 1. So basically, part 2 was a lot of complaining about Jane’s lack of ability until they impeached her as director. The group made a lame-o kung fu film where Top Model Adrianne finally gets to make out with Brady Chris. That is all. I waited 5 or 6 weeks for that drivel? Unbelievable.

So this week on The Surreal Life, it’s time for the infamous “Dirty Laundry” episode with Sally Jesse Raphael. The paper arrives telling the group to get dressed because they would be heading to the race tracks. Da Brat thinks going to the horse races is seedy and refuses, so I’m not really sure (nor do I really care) what she did while the group watched the races. Anyway, while they were there, they knew the living room was being set up as the stage for “Dirty Laundry” and none of them were looking forward to it.

Why? I have no idea… because this was the cleanest dirty laundry ever.

When the roomies arrive back at the mansion, Jane starts to have a panic attack – I have to presume she was worried that he seedy secret as a fetish club favorite was about to be displayed for the world. Granted, I never find out because they don’t show any “dirty laundry” about Jane. Or Chris. Or Marcus.

We get to see replays of a moody Mini me, but nothing new was revealed. We get to see Da Brat calling everyone has beens. Nothing new there. We get to see Sean turning Chyna into a weepy puddle of goo. Nothing new there. We get to see that Adrianne has her heart set on bagging a Brady. Wow. Big revelation. (Granted, the Adrianne/Chris thing added the only new footage. Apparently, at some point unbeknownst to the others, Adrianne and Chris had a makeout session in the back of the surreal van.) And after it was over, the only pissed off roommate was Jane, whose feelings were hurt because Da Brat think she’s a has been… and funny that Jane is deluded to think that she isn’t.

Anyway, that was that. Another boring episode. I can’t believe they didn’t even replay Verne’s day one peeing in the corner episode. At least that would have been worth repeating.

Tune in next week (or don’t) for what promises to be another dull (but thankfully final) episode of Surreal Life. Shame on VH1 for screwing up what could have potentially been the funniest season to date.

Yes, Shame on VH1. This season started off so well, what with the whole drunken verne and peeing on the weights. But, since they came up with this freaky show schedule, and lack the stones to show the good stuff(or is that push for the good stuff?), it just seems, well, boring.

Thanks for recapping it, though, sher. I have to imagine it's a lot harder than it seems.

Man, this season has gone downhill real quick.. especially with this dirty laundry episode, which was soooo boring.

Chyna has so many problems its not even funny.. I remember her from watching WWF back in the day and she is a mess now, too much plastic surgery.. the bottom line is - she will always be very butch, manly and she doesnt even realize it!

Jane is too sensitive, she is constantly whining about stuff that doesnt even matter, reminds me of a little kid :rolleyes

Brat speaks the truth, but to me it seems like she is just angry about how her career went, so she has to talk about others... because honestly if she hasnt realized, she is a "has been" too!

I really would like to add more but I dont feel this show is even worth me typing anymore.

Maybe next season(if there is one?!), they will put a cast with alot less problems so I dont feel like I'm watching a talk show and have to hear how all these celebs have so many problems :wow

Sher...you pegged this show so well, my sentiments exactly! Blahfest

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Originally Posted by xToNiCx

Maybe next season (if there is one?!), they will put a cast with alot less problems so I dont feel like I'm watching a talk show and have to hear how all these celebs have so many problems :wow

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Hey xTo! They already do have a cast put together for next season, and it looks like it'll be GREAT! So there is hope. (There used to be a thread about it here, but I guess it was moved or deleted .... I can't find it.)

Sher, thanks for the recap. This show was such a letdown. VH1 choked! The programmers should be sacked for their decision to hold the show for so long. I've yet to hear anyone say they didn't lose interest that whole time we waited. Really bad idea, VH1. Stop trying to cram your other garbage shows at us in the meantime!

I'm just ready for this season to be over now. It had such promise, so I'm really bummed.

They need to make adjustments to Dirty Laundry. It's not working like it used to. It's not shocking or a surprise to the houseguests anymore.

Bring on Jose Canseco!!!!! :biglove

I agree. I was very disappointed. I think the next season is going to be so much better.

i'm not watching the next season. this season has forever ruined it for me.

The one blessing in disguise is that we were treated to another fab-uuu-lous Sher-cap. Thanks for taking one for the team. :up

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Originally Posted by Rumpshaker

Bring on Jose Canseco!!!!! :biglove

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Oh man, Canseco is going to be part of the cast next season?.. That should be good, I was just watching him on Howard Stern last week and he was pretty good.

I actually met him when he got moved down to the minor leagues, he signed a few things for me and seemed like a nice person, he also hit a monster homerun that day so it was a pretty fun day.. after that, the Yankees signed him and then eventually released him.. he seemed bitter and then wrote a book on his life and baseball steriods.

Now he is going to be on the Surreal Life.. No way, Jose!

LOL, why am I typing a story on Jose Canseco?!.. I'm seriously nuts!

This "Dirty Laundry" definitely was the dullest ever.

Where was the scene of naked Verne peeing in the corner?

Where was the scene of manic Joanie operating on a basketball? They could have done a montage of her manic scenes, and put it with her apparent gibberish from the movie shoot, and made it look pretty serious. Then Sally could have asked about drug use or what was up.

I mean since the point of this episode is to be confrontation and embarrassment - where was that? Either have the dirty laundry or don't.