'Surreal Life' is Well-Endowed with Extra Character
(Wednesday, January 14 11:40 AM)
By Daniel Fienberg

LOS ANGELES (Zap2it.com) - Certain stars from The WB's semi-reality series "The Surreal Life" are getting ample publicity. Trishelle Canatella, Erik Estrada, Traci Bingham, Rob "Vanilla Ice" Van Winkle, Tammy Faye Messner and even porn star Ron Jeremy have been talking to the press and making constant public appearances.

The 5.3 million viewers who tuned in to the show's Sunday night (Jan. 11) premiere (or the 2.9 million who watched the encore the next night) know that "The Surreal Life" has at least one additional houseguest. Looming over much of the premiere episode was the spectre of Jeremy's notorious manhood.

"It's like an extra character in the show," admits executive producer Mark Cronin.

The star of almost 2000 adult films, Jeremy also holds a masters degree in special education, but nobody wants to talk about his work in the classroom. Everybody, it seems, can only concentrate on the attributes that made Jeremy into the star of films like "The Adventures of Buttgirl and Wonder Wench" and "Ally McFeal."

To Trishelle and Traci's chagrin and Tammy Faye's relief, Jeremy has passed the point in his life where he feels the need to unleash his trouser snake for anybody who asks.

"You got to go out and buy the tapes if you want to see it," laughs the rapper formerly known as Vanilla Ice. "You don't give it away for free."

Actually, as was clear from "The Surreal Life," Jeremy is happy to give it away for free, but he expects something in return.

"In fairness, it's an ace in the hole," Jeremy says with a healthy sense of irony. "It's something you can gamble with. Fair is fair."

The 9.75-inch wonder could have made an appearance in the show's first episode, but suddenly-modest "Baywatch" and Playboy vet Traci Bingham refused to flash Jeremy in exchange. The adult film legend reports that similar transactions occur all the time with women on the road.

"Nothing sexual takes place," he insists. "They stare. I stare. Everybody's happy. I get to see a pretty boob and they see a schmeckel and we go home."

Jeremy's use of disingenuous Yiddish aside (the word generally refers to a man with a small putz or schmuck), he hints that future episodes continue to dwell on phallic themes.

"I saw it," Estrada admits.

"I didn't see it," Trishelle squeals.

And the truth will be in the pixelation.