SYTYCD 7/26 Results Show Recap: It’s Only About Money Now

[PhoneGrrrl]

Following up on the heels of Wednesday night’s dance competition show (see Leo’s fabulous recap here), it is time to reveal the will of the people see who got a tap shoe to the backside and kicked out the door. Wait, they don’t actually do tap on this show, do they? That’s probably a good thing, because, really, who wants to have to hear dance anyway? Oh, yeah, right...Wade Robson does. (Screaming? Really?) I need to get over that and get on with the recap.

The results show opens with a dance number choreographed by none other than Mia Michaels, whom I referred to, prior to watching this weeks’ pair of shows, as Weed-Whacker-Hair for obvious reasons. The ten dancers are dressed in all black garb, in part made with gaffers tape, or so it would seem, and dance in a manner apropos of a 1980s video for Duran Duran or Pat Benetar. They perform to “The Moment I Said It” by Imogen Heap, and, after about a minute and a half, the production, as it were, is over.

After the dancers exit the stage, the lovely Cat Deeley arrives, wearing a pale peach summery sleeveless dress, with shiny ribbons at the waist and a short, flowing skirt. Her hair is in an up-do and is sporting several flowers in the ‘do. She looks like an eight year old on Easter Sunday, but she carries off the look. Cat walks over to stage left and addresses the judges, who have some very serious business to take care of before any dancing ensues.

All Apologies.

Mia first must apologize to the U.S. Marines. Apparently she wore a military-style jacket the previous night that had a patch or insignia on the sleeve but it was upside-down. This was offensive to many Marines, and she apologized for her ignorance, noting that she only wore it as a fashion item and had no idea about the import of the insignia nor did she mean to offend. Frankly, I’m amazed anyone looks at what she wears, given that awful haircut distracts from everything she wears, says, or does.

Next up, Nigel addresses the complaints they got about Wade Robson’s peace dance from the previous night. Nigel explains that some people took the dance that was supposed to be anti-war and pro-peace to be anti-troops, which was not the intent. Nigel is a bit amazed he has to defend the dance at all on these grounds. I agree, but wish he would defend the dance on artistic grounds because it was a serious piece of crap and made me wonder if Wade was dipping into the same crazy juice his former client Britney is sipping.

Mary, apparently not the causer of any controversy, merely comments that she feels a little scared that the judges aren’t in control of who stays and who goes. She worries the voting population may get it wrong. She then adds that all of the dancers are great performers, and she is a bit more relaxed that she won’t have to fight out the results with Nigel and Mia.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

For some reason, the producers of this show feel the need to stretch out what should be a 30 minute show into an hour. To fill some of that time, they bring in performers who are, apparently, famous; I remember one week catching Fergie, the Black Eyed Pea (not the Duchess of Weight Watchers). This week the guest is some guy called Mika; he sings a song called “Love Today” and bounces around the stage like a cartoon character. It’s not so much dancing, but an audition for Catalina’s spot at Club Chubby, what with all the jumping. He sings in a falsetto, wears what appear to be teal sueded stretch pants and a white oxford shirt, and looks an awful lot like Kirk Cameron, pre-religiosity. This must be the cruel and unusual punishment Leo referred to in his recap.

Ladies First.

After the “performance” by Mika—of which at least 80% was lip synched—Cat calls the five remaining girls on the stage. She is going to review each girl’s previous performance and reveal whether the girl is safe of is in the bottom four for the night. First up is Sabra who was universally loved by the judges, even so far as to have Mia proclaim Sabra her favorite. After a really-not-that-tense moment, Cat opens the card and reveals Sabra is safe. She exits the stage to wait in the front row next to the guys and a really burly bodyguard-looking guy.

Cat reviews Jaimie’s performance next. She was saddled with that Spanish/Viennese waltz the night before, which was a bit of a clunker. (I actually was distracted by her bright yellow skirt the entire time and thought the skirt did an awesome job.) In this trip down memory lane, Mia’s positive comment about Jaimie’s lines is tempered again with the cutting comment that she dances with her mouth open like she’s catching flies. Way to ruin my dinner yet again, Mia--it’s not just the Marines after you now! Cat then opens the card and tells Jaimie that she is in the bottom four. Not only is she stuck with a crazy sparkly outfit that looks uncomfortable, she’s relegated to a backless barstool for at least another twenty minutes.

Lacy’s samba with Danny is remembered next. All the judges loved her performance, and it is no surprise that Cat announces she is safe. That leaves the final two girls’ performances to be reviewed. We’re reminded that Lauren’s hip-hop routine with Pasha was well-liked by the judges, and her solo performance of Wade’s crap was praised as well. Before finding out if Lauren is safe, we’re again shown that Sara’s disco with Neil was loved by Nigel, Mary, and Mia, but her solo wasn’t loved by Nigel. Then Cat announces that Sara is safe and Lauren is in the bottom four. She joins Jaimie on the bar stools of purgatory.

Bottom guys.

As Cat has finished with the ladies, the men are called up on to stage to find out who amongst them will be facing elimination. Again, going dancer by dancer, Cat reviews the previous night’s performances. Neil’s amazing jumps and leaps (take note, Mika) in his disco routine drew praise from the judges, but his solo routine was found to be lacking in emption. But, despite the mixed bag of criticism from the prior night, Cat announces he is safe.

Fan favorite Danny is next; now, I really don’t know if he is a “fan favorite” but he’s the only one who got a few seconds of fan-love in his performance review video. We’re reminded that Nigel backhandedly complimented Danny by saying what Danny lacks in technique he makes up for in performance. Mia was more pro-Danny, saying that he has the potential to be “in the books”...which I hope is a good thing. As if there were any doubt, Cat announces Danny is safe as well.

Cat turns to Dominic next, and he’s ready to join the girls before his performance is even reviewed. She stops him so that he can relive Nigel telling him that he was disappointed in his caricature-like performance in the waltz , Mary’s pronouncement that he showed emotion but not technique in his performance, and Mia being left wanting more. Sure enough, once Cat opens the card, Dominic is in the bottom four.

That leaves Kameron and Pasha on stage with Cat. We are reminded that Nigel did not believe the emotion in Kameron’s performance and Mia wanted him to break through his emotional wall. On the positive side, Mia and Nigel both liked Kameron’s rendition of the Wade solo. Finally, looking at Pasha’s performance, Mia was astounded that he could pull off the hip-hop routine, but Nigel and Mia both did not like his version of the solo. Finally Cat opens the card and we learn Pasha is safe and Kameron is on the chopping block.

Really, what’s a quarter of a million dollars anyway?

Now we know that Lauren, Jaimie, Dominic and Kameron are in the bottom four; Cat asks the judges for their take on the situation. Mia is shocked that Pasha isn’t in the bottom four, but then also says she thinks they are all brilliant and would be “gagging” if any one of them was up for elimination. Mary can’t commit to wanting to save any one of them if she could, even though Lauren tries to persuade Mary to pick her. Mary then blathers on about how this elimination is just a bump in the road and they are all great and they all need to follow their hearts...and about 50 other phrases from the “Trite Phrases for Departing Reality TV Contestants” book. Nigel echoes Mary’s comments from earlier in the show, saying he’s happy the judges won’t have to fight out who gets the boot. Ever the Mr. Sunshine, Nigel says that everything is so fragile from here on in, that a bad week can completely kill a dancer’s chance. But, as he says, it’s only about the $250,000 now anyway, since all ten of them are going on the tour.

Before we’re granted a reprieve from this drawn-out results show, the bottom four get a chance to “show us what they can do” and dance a tiny solo in their preferred style. Jaimie, in her sparkly outfit, does a nice contemporary dance to “Your Ex-Lover’s Dead” by Stars. Dominic does an amazing leaping job of a b-boy/hip-hop dance with a head spin that seemed to last forever to “It’s Just Begun” by the Jimmy Castor Bunch. He was like the freakin’ Tasmanian Devil on his head on the floor--I’m amazed there was no burn hole left on the floor.

Lauren goes next doing a somewhat jerky contemporary dance to “I Can Only Imagine” by Mercyme. There’s something about this girl’s constant mugging for the camera that bugs me. Finally, Kameron does a contemporary/hip-hop routine to “Oh Timbaland” by Timbaland that includes some nice flips and splits but not nearly as impressive as Dominic’s head spin. He really has a bad case of the nerves, it seems.

Pack your shoes and go.

After the four mini-solos (none of which were more than a minute), Cat asks the judges for final thoughts for the two girls at the bottom of the heap. Mia this sage piece of advice: Never accept a military jacket from a friend and wear it. She says they are both outstanding and amazing young ladies and they’ve both been a pleasure to work with. With that, Cat opens the card and announces that Jaime is out. She says the process has been an absolute dream and thanks everyone for the opportunity to be in the competition. She’ll miss her fellow contestants the most, but she looks forward to the tour.

Cat again asks the judges for final thoughts for the two guys up for exit. Mary congratulates them for making it this far and wishes them both luck. Cat then reveals that Kameron is out. He, like Jaimie, thanks everyone for the opportunity and says he really enjoyed working with the dancers and choreographers. He too looks forward to the tour, which undoubtedly will be attended far and wide by the same gaggle of twelve-year-olds that populate the studio audience. No wonder they needed that burly bodyguard guy.

[Google]

 

[ShrinkingViolet]

Loved your opening paragraph! I also love that you critique the clothes and hair (hurry back Project Runway!). Thanks for a totally entertaining recap. You need a raise!

The ten dancers are dressed in all black garb, in part made with gaffers tape, or so it would seem, and dance in a manner apropos of a 1980s video for Duran Duran or Pat Benetar.

She looks like an eight year old on Easter Sunday, but she carries off the look.

. . . Weed-Whacker-Hair for obvious reasons . . . Frankly, I’m amazed anyone looks at what she wears, given that awful haircut distracts from everything she wears, says, or does.

I agree, but wish he would defend the dance on artistic grounds because it was a serious piece of crap and made me wonder if Wade was dipping into the same crazy juice his former client Britney is sipping.

I remember one week catching Fergie, the Black Eyed Pea (not the Duchess of Weight Watchers).

He sings in a falsetto, wears what appear to be teal sueded stretch pants and a white oxford shirt, and looks an awful lot like Kirk Cameron, pre-religiosity. This must be the cruel and unusual punishment Leo referred to in his recap.

Way to ruin my dinner yet again, Mia--it’s not just the Marines after you now!

She joins Jaimie on the bar stools of purgatory.

Mary then blathers on about how this elimination is just a bump in the road and they are all great and they all need to follow their hearts...and about 50 other phrases from the “Trite Phrases for Departing Reality TV Contestants” book.

He was like the freakin’ Tasmanian Devil on his head on the floor--I’m amazed there was no burn hole left on the floor.

He too looks forward to the tour, which undoubtedly will be attended far and wide by the same gaggle of twelve-year-olds that populate the studio audience. No wonder they needed that burly bodyguard guy.

[Mantenna]

Yeah, you totally need a raise. Brilliant work!

This was nothing short of death by hilarity:

He sings in a falsetto, wears what appear to be teal sueded stretch pants and a white oxford shirt, and looks an awful lot like Kirk Cameron, pre-religiosity. This must be the cruel and unusual punishment Leo referred to in his recap.

[Jewelsy]

WOW! Excellent recap, PG!