Hello dear readers! Tis I, iguanachocolate, here to bring you all the news that is dance. Ok, not all the news. But am here to keep you apprised on the who’s staying and who’s going. I have some thoughts based on last night’s performances and I am sure you do as well. But if you missed the show, never fear, Critical the Magnificent has whipped up a perfectly lovely recap for you here.

I am happy to report that I received no missive this week from Ms. Mia Michaels Multi-Emmy Award Winning Choreographer. There was this odd hex symbol on my door, though. And ever since my dog has been pirouetting all over the house. Thinking of sending the tape to one of those funniest pets shows…… but I digress. I know what you are all waiting for:

The Cat Walk!

The loveliness that is Cat Deeley once again has failed to return my calls. But she did send me a cease and desist order, so I know she is thinking of me! *sigh* One day, my darling Cat, one day…

For the performance show, the beauty that is Ms. Deeley was sporting a lovely silver, shimmery frock. She looked like the Goddess she is. But what was with the pink monstrosity the evil jealous wardrobe trolls put her in? She looked like an over grown Betsy Wetsy doll. I half expected Nigel to whip out a baby bottle and offer it to her. But, then of course, Adam would want one.

Aha! by Imogen Heap and choreographed by Wade and Amanda Robson is the back drop for the opening group number. Nice use of duct tape on the guys. And I love love Imogen Heap.

The judges offer their usual comments that are pretty much the same every week. The dancers need to bring their A game, this ain’t no season 5 after all. Looking for America’s favorite dancer so bring the personality. Kiss up to Nigel and you will make it to the top ten. You know, the usual.

First two couples up: Ashley and Jakob who did a Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop routine which was universally loved by the judges. Cat quickly tells them they are safe. Next we have Karen and Kevin who had the unfortunate B roadway number. I am a big Broadway fan, but it was a bit like watching a high school performance. The judges were less than enthusiastic. Apparently, so was America, because they are in the bottom three.

After the break we have Ellenore and Ryan who performed that wonderful Travis Wall routine that was such a joy to watch. The judges loved it as did America and they are safe for this week. Noelle and Russell drew the Foxtrot again (and I am with Crit in thinking it is not such a coincidence) and the judges seemed to like it. I didn’t but what do I know? Channing and Victor had that odd bird jazz routine by Tyce. The judges praised it, but did it resonate with the audience or could they not get past the weird vocal sounds that passed for music? They could not and whilst Noelle and Russell are safe, Channing and Ryan are in the bottom three.

Mollee and Nathan are up after dancing a universally loved pop jazz routine that was fun to watch, but I did not think it was the performance by an alleged dream team. Kathryn and Legacy danced the Paso Doble and danced it well. Really well. But who did America put up for the boot? We’ll find out after the break. I jest. No breaks for you lot, I shall plow right on. America chose Mollee and Nathan to perform the dance of death or life for their continued spots on the show.

Guest dancers this week are the one and only Bollywood choreographer Nakul Dev Mahajan and NDM Bollywood Dance Productions Desi Girl from Dostana. Now maybe I am biased, but personally, I think the Bollywood routines we have seen on the show have been more exciting than this one. Not that this one was not good, but it just did not grab me the way they usually do. Of course, it could be that I am also in the throes of sleep deprivation, but I doubt it.

The bottom six begin their solos next. Karen dances to the Doors’ Break on Through. Dressed in leather she made much of that touted sex appeal Nigel keeps harping on. Her partner, Kevin dances his hip hop routine to Freeze by T-Pain feat. I thought it was cute, but not wow. Channing does the typical routine we see from every contemporary dancer to Ryan Dan’s The Face. Booorrrrrring. Victor dances to Baby’s Romance by Chris Garneau. Ok, get it, you can pirouette. But can you tap? Mollee dances to Let me Think About It (Radio Edit) by Ida Corr. Dear, if you are going to do the sexy moves, lose the cheesy grin. Just a thought. Nathan dances to Discovery’s So Insane. Aside from the obligatory pirouettes, he did have some interesting moves.

Whilst the judges are back stage ‘deliberating’ (or getting some shots down, whichever you think is more likely), we are treated to a performance by Orianthi. She was really quite good and got to love a girl who can rock a guitar like that. Now, in my market, that was followed by an fake butter commercial with the once mighty now fallen Megan Mullally. Oh my. Things have really gone south for you since Wil and Grace.

And now we come to it. The decision time. First up the girls and Mollee is quickly dismissed saying she dances like a woman now. Errrr. Yeah. Ok. Nigel harps on technique and performance and says Channing is all technique but Karen is more performance. As is usual in this show, performance wins out and a Karen will be staying and Channing will be going home. On the guys’ side, Nathan is quickly dismissed and Victor is admonished for his use of pirouettes. Ultimately, it is hip hopper Kevin who will be wearing his blue sparkly shoes at home from now on.

And that is all folks. Stay tuned next week for another round of pick your favorite dancer and watch them get voted off. See you all then!