Well, ladies and gents, I am filling in for recapper extraordinaire iguanachocolate tonight. I am not going to pretend to be as up on this show as she is, but I’ll do my best. Be sure to check out Waywyrd’s excellent recap of last night’s competition episode to get a handle on why America voted as it did.
The safe and the not-so-safe.
As we all know, there are only eight dancers left and one guy and one girl will be voted off tonight by popular vote. The judges don’t have any say in who goes home tonight. Not at all…Mary Murphy can scream until the sky falls, but she’s powerless here.
The show opens with a group dance performance to Universal Mind Control by Common. It starts with the girls rising up from a crouched position, then the guys join in and it looks like someone choreographed the background day players of a Star Trek: TNG episode. It’s robotic space dancers! The girls have crazy black eye makeup across their eyes! The guys leap around! Jerky movements! Then the guys freeze and the girls power down to the crouch position again. Thank goodness that embarrassment is over and the show can move on.
Cat Deeley comes on the stage, a vision in a white, vaguely Grecian, dress with flirty skirt. She introduces the judges: Toni Basil, who has had more Botox than should be legally allowable, Mary Murphy, and Nigel Lythgoe. Cat asks Toni how hard it would be for a dancer to master all kinds of dance styles. She says it is hard, and was really difficult for her to transition from classical styles to stuff like locking back in her day. Yes kids, back in the early 80s, there were no lessons to take on break dancing or other street styles. Certainly there were no instructors to hire to come to your house and teach the moves, as seen on “The Real Housewives of New York.” But Toni says it is impossible to master all styles anyway. Nigel then has an announcement: he asks everyone who is eligible to vote in the next presidential election to go out, get registered, and look at the issues. So many people vote on this show and Idol, and they should be casting their ballots come November.
With the public service announcement portion show out of the way, we get down to the real business at hand: Who is safe and who isn’t? Calls out Katee first. She was a hit last night with the judges and she’s safe with the voters. Next Will is called on stage; he did well too last night with the judges but it is in the bottom two according to America. Well, based upon what I just saw of Will, the voters are idiots and maybe should stay away from real polling booths.
Comfort comes out next; she got mixed reviews for last night’s performance and is in the bottom two of the girls. Well, maybe the voters aren’t that stupid. Cat calls Mark up next. He danced with Comfort last night and also got mixed reviews, but apparently the viewers like him better and he’s safe.
Chelsie was a hit last night and also has the votes. She’s safe which means Courtney is not. Twitch also got much love from the judges last night, but not from the voters. Twitch is visibly shaken up by the news and Cat has to comfort him. Or maybe he just wanted to get close to the effervescent Ms. Deely.
Cat calls up Joshua, even though we all know he’s safe. Apparently he did really well last night and faced Nigel’s critique of his butt. If that weren’t pervy enough for you, Cat announces that we know Joshua is safe because we already have “our two bottom boys.” Let’s hope the delicate ears of America’s youth do not catch the double entendre. Of course, we also know that Courtney is also in the bottom, despite the fact that the judges loved her work last night.
We all know we’re just wasting time, right?
The bottom four will all get to show their styles in solo dances before the losers are revealed, but this is a live show and time must be filled. So Cat brings out two dancers from the Los Angeles Ballet to do a pas de deux to “The Man I Love” from the ballet “Who Cares?”—which is exactly how I feel about the entirety of ballet. The girl is dressed like a typical ballerina and the guy looks like he’s an extra from Saturday Night Fever. Sure, there are some great extensions, some toe standing and whatnot, but it is a real downer to the fast pace of the show. Plus, all I wanna know is who get s voted off.
This last-ditch effort doesn’t even count.
The bottom four will all get a turn at doing a solo dance, even though it won’t influence one whit the outcome of the show. The elimination is solely based upon the votes, which have already been tallied, so this is just another way to fill time and promote the SYTYCD tour. First up is Comfort with a dance to Like This by Mims. She does a hip hop dance with a bit of a vogue move at the end. It’s kind of blah. Will then comes out and does a modern slow jam dance to Closer by Goapele. After he’s done, Cat brings him over to the judges’ table where Nigel says he doesn’t know what went wrong because Will and Twitch were the best dancers last night and it would be sad to lose either one of them.
Courtney dances her solo next to Passion by Kreesha Turner. She performs a modern, high-energy dance with splits and spins. Then Twitch dances last to Hollywood Swinging by Kool & The Gang with a modern, hip-hoppy take and awesome leg movements.
Another time to get a sandwich.
The solos are done and there is more time on the clock for this live episode. They certainly can’t cut to bad local news or reruns of House too early, so out comes LL Cool J to perform. He’s doing his new song, Baby, which features The Dream. I swear, LL hasn’t aged a day since Going Back to Cali twenty years ago. He’s not aged…no, I don’t think so. He gets the crowd going, the gaggle of dancing chicks cavort around him and The Dream, and time passes. The song is okay but I just want to know who is going home tonight.
Finally, some results.
Cat gets the two girls on the bottom to come on stage with her and towers over them in a freaky (yet somehow attractive) way. She has the unfortunate position of revealing that Comfort is the one leaving tonight. They play a retrospective of Comfort’s best moments and Comfort sys that she’s grateful for the crazy experience. It’s then time to find out which guy is going and it is Will. He looks disappointed but hugs Twitch and Cat. They show a retrospective of his dancing, which is super-athletic and sexy. Awww, Will, I’m sorry to see you go. He then encourages other dancers to keep going and show the world what they’ve got.