Howdy all you dancing fools, time once again to watch the weird and the wonderful audition episodes (otherwise known as filler until the real season starts). This time we are off to the desert of Phoenix, Arizona and the judges for this evening’s festivities are Executive Producer (the guy we blame if the season sucks) Nigel Lythgoe, ballroom expert Mary Murphy, and our guest judge contemporary choreographer Mia Michaels (sporting a weird ass Kate Gosselin knock off do).
First up, we get a little bit nostalgic with the theme of the 80’s show “What’s Happening” playing in the background as two guys named Biggie (Rerun) and Shorty (Raj) decide to let the world in on their talent. However, after some weird hand movements and other assorted “dance” moves I am left unimpressed. The judges, despite their hysterical laughter, decide to put these dancing fools into the choreography round. I am wondering what there are drinking in their cups, as there was not an iota of dancing going on, but what do I know?
Up next on the floor, is another sob story, we have to have at least one an episode. It’s mandatory on all reality shows, don’t ya know. The contemporary dancer’s name is Sasha Mallory, she auditioned season 4 but her family didn’t support her, now they are here in force to support their
meal ticketwonderful dancing family member. She works a chair in her routine, and really that is all I can remember of it, too much prop using not enough dancing for my taste. But whatever, the judges love her, and she gets the first Golden Ticket of the night. Also getting Golden Tickets are fellow contemporary dancers, Katie Muh and Ellie Soto. Another dancer with a story is hearing impaired contemporary dancer Alison Becker, she tells us that she can feel the music she is dancing to, but the Fray’s “You Found Me” is really not one that moves me all that much. A cynic, yes I know. She does Ok, and the judges especially Mary Murphy are moved to tears by her courage. However, Nigel the party pooper thinks that she needs to do choreography because he isn’t sure she can handle other styles. Last year, we were introduced to same sex ballroom couple Jacob and Willem, who Nigel insulted and later got in trouble for his comments. This time around, Nigel is on his best behavior, and I can definitely say they improved this year, their lines, choreography and technique are miles better than last year, and they are sent to the choreography round (a little dig is made to see if they will dance with girls as well as they danced with each other). Whatever.
In the choreography round, Anya and Pasha, our favorite ballroom couple from Season 3, is leading the maybes in a Latin ballroom number, Biggie (Rerun) drops out immediately, Shorty (Raj) can’t handle the heat and is sent packing. However good news for Alison, Jacob and Willem they do enough to convince the judges to send them to Vegas.
Of course what is an audition show, without the crappy auditions? First up we get a screaming banshee, who can give Mary Murphy a run for her money. His name is Jarvis Johnson, I have no idea what kind of dancing he is doing, but whatever it is I no likey. However the judges still must have something in their sippy cups because they decide to send him through to choreography, and I fall off my chair in disbelief. Now we get even more wacky auditions, where Nigel asks the question “How close are we to Roswell”? (And I wonder where Area 51 is, because the judges are certainly acting strangely as well). We get a contemporary dancer named Kelsey White who claims that aliens have abducted her (and I feel that Fox has just scrapped the bottom of the barrel for the crazies tonight). Nigel certainly has had enough and he exits the stage, while stating Kelsey can go through to choreography. I know I certainly have had enough tonight.
Thankfully, the last audition tonight is a B-Boy named Jonathan Legacy; he has been pimped throughout the commercials so I am looking forward to what he can do. What he does is the classic B-Boy moves, along with crawling like a spider. Not the best B-Boy ever on the show, Hok and Dom were that, but pretty darn good anyways. The judges are also impressed and he is sent breaking his way to Vegas.
Well that’s it for tonight. Next up we go east to Boston. Will this historic city bring us any talent, stay tuned in to see.