Finally! No more two hour long filler fests, we’re down to one hour and nothing but the dancin’. Thank you, FOX, thank you. We’re down to six couples now and the competition is getting fierce. Our judges for tonight are Nigel, Mary, and Brian, whom I hope has had an attitude adjustment, as he’s been quite nasty at times recently. Maybe that humongous necklace he’s wearing will help his mood – it looks like something out of The Pirates of the Caribbean movie set. It has to weigh a good 10 pounds. Maybe he can smack Mary with it if she starts that awful guffawing again. Let’s hope.
Starting us off tonight are Natalie and Musa, who reach into the hat o’ doom to pull their dance: it’s hip hop! Musa is overjoyed. This one will be choreographed by Dan Karaty, and he wants Natalie to play a vixen who teases her pursuer Musa. If anyone can pull it off, Natalie can. They perform to “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado, and it’s not bad at all. Natalie shakes her stuff in Daisy Dukes and the craziest boots I've ever seen, and Musa does some amazing flips and jumps. They were a little off at times, though, seeming to not be dancing together, and the judges noticed: Mary tells them that the synchronized movements weren’t great, while Nigel and Brian give good reviews. Not glowing, but good. Brian also tells Nat that she's a video girl, and is ready to work right now. She beams at the compliment.
Odd couple Heidi and Ryan are next, and draw the Cha-Cha. Ryan’s not looking pleased, as he pouts in the background. Seems Heidi and choreographer Jean-Marc are dancing up a storm while Ryan hangs back and makes a smartass comment about what a "great" partner he has. How about hopping in there and learning something, Ryan? They dance to “Sex Bomb” by Tom Jones – Heidi looks amazing in her bright pink costume and dances quite well. Ryan, as always seems to be the case, blended into the background for me. It was a good routine, but something is just missing between these two. Like, any chemistry at all. The judges give mixed reviews: Heidi gets thumbs up from everyone, with Nigel telling her to not scrunch up her face, it makes her look like a Cabbage Patch Doll. Hee! Mary shushes Nigel, saying that she's just a doll period. Brian says she makes him smile, but tells Ryan that he’s too tense and needs to relax. No kidding.
Allison and Ivan are couple number three, and draw contemporary as their dance. They’re happy with their pick, as am I. I can’t wait to see Ivan blow this one, because he hasn’t been a big favorite of mine. The routine by Tyce will be very personal, mature, and intimate – everything Ivan isn’t. They take the stage in all-black outfits (and no shoes, of course) to the tune of “Why” by Annie Lennox. Great song. Allison, as expected, is amazing. Ivan…wait a minute, here. He is totally kicking ass on this one! I thought the kid couldn’t pull it off, but he blew me away. He really put some feeling and intensity into the routine, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of them as they danced. Just, wow. The judges agree – Nigel tells Ivan there was a man on stage, not a little boy, and he told Allison she has a good chance of winning this thing. Brian echoes his comments, complimenting them on their technique, while Mary is crying. Seriously, she was almost bawling. She manages to tell them how fabulous they were as she wipes makeup from her face. Pssst, Mary. Waterproof mascara. It rules.
My eye candy Dmitry and partner Ashlee are next, and they get stuck with pop as their dance. Dmitry looks confused, saying he doesn’t know what pop is. As the choreographer explains, it’s like watered-down hip hop with a little jazz thrown in. Umm, okay. Ballroom expert Dmitry has trouble loosening up, and is too stiff for this style of dance, says Dan. They perform to “Let Me” by Rihanna and I’m wondering what on earth they’ve done to poor Ashlee’s hair! It’s huge. And has green streaks. How she danced and managed to balance that mess on her head, I don’t know. And as much as I love Dmitry, he really wasn’t good at this one, looking very uncomfortable. And please, wardrobe - no more pink sneakers and makeup on my boy Dmitry. Come on. Not one of their best performances, as Nigel exclaims that he’ll forget about the routine in 30 minutes. Ouch. Mary says they gave you watered down hip hop, what did you expect? Brian gets bitchy again and says that is not what pop is, and hints that the routine was to blame along with their lack of energy. Methinks he has a beef with the choreographer.
Martha and Travis are next, and they draw the foxtrot. They're not happy with the pick either, especially Travis. The "crazy little Frenchman" Jean-Marc is their choreographer, and he tries to cheer the two up with corny jokes. Dancing to "Witchcraft" by Steve Tyrell, the couple looks very elegant, with Martha wearing a green shredded-lettuce ballroom dress and Travis with a slicked-back hairstyle. Much better than that spiky 'do he usually sports. The dance was okay, but nothing spectacular. Maybe a little dull, even. The judges give them good reviews, with a few comments about improving posture and extension. Mary says they would have made Fred and Ginger proud, and Brian was sure it was going to be bad, but was impressed.
Last for the night is power couple Donyelle and Benji, who pick Broadway for their style. Now this should be good. Benji can ham it up to his heart's content with this one. Benji walks up to the choreographer and exclaims "Welcome. We're dorks!" What a goof. Donyelle tells us that the challenge with this style is keeping the energy up to the end, as this is non-stop stepping. They perform to "You Can't Stop The Beat" from Hairspray. Everything about this routine is high energy, from the bright 50's costumes to the dance itself. They do well, as expected, but Donyelle seems to lose it a bit at the end. She's still nursing a broken toe, so that's understandable. My only complaint is that horrid yellow dress they made her wear! Not flattering. The crowd goes wild for their favorites, and so do the judges: Nigel tells Benji he'd be surprised if he didn't win, and they both get similar accolades from Brian and Mary. Once again, these two can do no wrong.
And that ends tonight's show. It's only going to get tougher from here, and everyone had better step up their game - there's no room for lackluster performances now (ya hear me, Ryan?). Check out the results show to see who gets sent home, with special guests the Pussycat Dolls. Yee-haw!
Who am I kidding? Dmitry could wear a pink tutu and still look good...firstname.lastname@example.org