Hello, dear readers! Tis I, iguanachocolate, her once again to bring you the news of dance. This week is especially exciting because the Top Ten will be revealed, which means the dancers all the fanatics fans will pay out their hard earned bucks to see. But first, let’s take a look into the Chocolate mailbag, shall we? I did indeed receive yet another missive from Ms Emmy Award Winning Choreographer Mia Michaels. Quite frankly, this woman is bugging the poop out of me. I mean, the first message was exciting, but she rather seems to be desperate now. Take a look at this one I got most recently:



I am a bit worried that the Emmy may have gone to her head. Crazy choreographers.

Now, on to this week’s look at the Cat Walk!:



A golden, teal, tubey mess.


40's Glam - a clear winner. Loved the hair!


And finally, to the show. It begins, as usual, with the group dance. This week they are doing a hip hop number by Tabitha and Napoleon to White Stripe’s Seven Nation Army - kind of reminds me of Stalin’s Red Army, but what do I know? The dance is very exciting and the camera work is craptastic as usual. Out comes the decidedly not craptastic Cat to bring us our judges and also to let us know that it is a certain lecher’s birthday. Yes, Nigel has 60 years of leers and gropes under his belt, folks. Probably why he has it down to such an art form. Nigel got a good dig in at Mary and her Botox addiction and then let’s us know that while tons of choreographers were leaping to pull on their one handed crystal gloves and get into the Thriller mindset in honor of Michael Jackson, the music was not cleared for a Michael Tribute Show. Hmmm, does this mean that Idol out ranks Dance? I hope not. Cat also reminds the judges, and me, that beginning next week the judges have no say (if you discount all the favoritism and dancer pimping that goes on) in who is sent home. Mary hopes the audience will get it right. Since this is not a search for America’s best dancer, but rather America’s favorite dancer, they really can’t get it wrong, can they? Well, that may be a nice way to think, but being a reality show veteran I know all too many times when the audience has gotten it wrong. Chris Daughtry, that is all I am saying. Tyce says the dancers had it rough this week with having two dance routines, but they need to be warriors and step it up. Cat gets a dig in about his strange orange juice analogy from last night. Did anyone have a clue as to what he was saying? I think his ridiculous chin hair may be strangling his brain.

Out comes the first two pairs to meet their fate: Caitlin and Jason (Fox Trot and lyrical jazz) and Jeanette and Brandon (Argentinean Tango and pop jazz). Cat helpfully lets us know that one pair is safe and one pair is dancing for their lives. Oh my, who could it be? This is such a challenge. Not. Even my puppy knew which of that pair would be up for elimination.


Definitely not these guys


And Lucy the puppy was right – Caitlin and Jason are indeed in the bottom two. Mary says they really haven’t had the energy since they first exploded in their early Bollywood routine.

Now we have Randi and Evan (hip hop and samba) and Jeanine and Philip (ill fated, badly choreographed Russian Folk dance and jive). This one is a bit harder – though it is telling that Randi and Evan have never been in the bottom three. And tell it, it does as they are safe. Nigel says the Russian Folk dance may have doomed Jeanine and Philip. He also goes on to tell us what we all already knew, that the judges find out ahead of time who is in the bottom three and for the most part make the decision on who is going home before the show even begins. He alleges the solos may change their minds, but I think we have all seen too many instances of that not being the case therefore illuminating the Dance for Your Life as what it truly is – filler. Sometimes some very exciting filler, but filler it is.

And now we have Melissa and Ade (disco and waltz) and Kayla and Kupono (contemporary and Broadway). Kayla and Kupono have the kiss of Mia this week, so it is Melissa and Ade who will be dancing for their lives. No worries for them, even though the judges have pointed out a gazillion times that Melissa is older than dirt, she and Ade have consistently won judges praise and are surely in no danger of going home.

It seems they are replacing the very cool chance to see styles of dance performed to perfection with a glimpse of auditions for the season to come. I guess they have no worries about overpimping themselves and choose to begin the torture early. Not too much torture this week as they highlight a bow tie wearing geekily quirky contemporary dancer named Teddy. If this is what we get to see, I can deal with it – but I tell you – one hint of Sex during my regularly Sex free competition shows and I will be shoving it right up back their arses. Just saying.

And now for the solos: Caitlin dances to Stand by Me by Playing for Change. I did not know this version and I like it, but Caitlin doesn’t show us anything new. Just some very nice and good dancing. Jason comes next dancing to Evaline’s Calm Touching and it is typical Jason dancing with the allegedly added bonus of no shirt. Jeanine dances to Chris Garneau’s Baby’s Romance and does a great job, as usual.

Philip locks his way through to the Diva Dance from the The Fifth Element – I love that movie! He locks and pops, but I am thinking his journey is coming to an end as while he is getting better, he just cannot dance on the same level as the other dancers. Melissa is the final female dancer of the night and she was great! This is the first time I have seen her dance a solo and she did so to Kodo’s Kashira it was light and sweet and full of gorgeous extensions and lines. And finally, we have Ade – another one who has not danced a solo on the show yet. Wow, he is powerful and has a nice mix of styles. He danced to Jib Kidder’s Windowdipper and I really enjoyed it. Cat shoos the judges backstage to decide dinner and we are treated to this:


[SIZE="3"]If only Kelly Rowland’s singing could live up to the Diva-esqueness of this pose.[/SIZE]

And now we come to the sad part. At this point, I am like Cat, I hate Thursdays. Most of the dancers are quite excellent and I enjoy watching all of them. But eliminations are part and parcel of the process, so let’s get on with the girls. Nigel gets right into it and tells us they have chosen the two girls they want to stay, rather than the one they think should leave. Errr, ok. And the difference is? Semantics doesn’t make it feel any better, Nigel. Certainly Caitlin is not any more comforted when she gets the cut. Poor dear is barely holding back tears and I feel for her. We see her journey and she is sent off to the side of the stage to await her cohort in sadness.

And now the guys. He tells Philip that he is unique in what he does but he has been disappointing in the other styles. And they are not even counting the Russian dance. Philip is going home. However, both he and Caitlin will be going on the tour – a tribute to the strength of the group they have this year.

And that is it folks. We have our Top Ten: Janette, Brandon, Jeanine, Ade, Evan, Randi, Kayla, Kupono, Melissa, and Jason. Next week they will be paired up by the luck of the draw (allegedly) and they will be on their own for eliminations. Let the good times roll!