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Thread: Simple Life 3, Premiere Recap: Silly Bitches on a Greyhound Bus

  1. #11
    Staying Afloat speedbump's Avatar
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    It's been too long since I've giggled at a Snowie recap. You had me laughing, crying and peeing my pants all in one simutaneous moment. Terrific recap Snowie!
    You got to cry without weeping. Talk without speaking. Scream without raising your voice.- U2

  2. #12
    Retired! hepcat's Avatar
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    (see the fast-forward makes it funny, haha—damn you, Benny Hill!)

    The bus then travels over the Brooklyn Bridge (gasp) to New Jersey (faint).

    crap-a-doodle-doo

    Apparently, Joyce is a collector of loud, gaudy clocks that every hour drive you made with the tintinnabulations of their toll (like the Tell-Tale Clock—aieee, the ticking of the hideous clock!).

    Greased Frightening

    he tells them that a Toyota Camry is outside for an oil change. Or Latoya’s mammaries are lopsided and so strange—I’m not sure with this guy.

    Let’s hope she doesn’t find out what the normal life expectancy is for a Chihuahua.

    Lou is, contrary to what his hairstyle would like you to believe, not a Roy Orbison impersonator, but a Jujitsu instructor;

    Well, the girls know a thing or too about self-promotion, so perhaps they’ll thrive at this job.

    Nicole reclaims her position as the smarter blonde by explaining to Paris that “China and Japan are different.”

    Well, we all know what this is going to lead to.

    That was probably the best $5 these guys will ever spend.
    Your take on the Simple Life should be framed and mounted over Paris & Nicole's Utah-sized bed. Superb - no, superlative recap, Snowy!
    You've gotta hustle if you want to earn a dollar. - Boston Rob

  3. #13
    daydream believer oneTVslave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowflakeGirl
    After shopping, it’s off in the limo for a night on the town to dance and do lines off Lindsay Lohan’s bare caboose (Haha, I gotcha, dirty old man!)

    I will wear a dog suit and crawl around on my hands and knees if it means I get pampered the way these pups do (coincidentally, this is the premise of my new sex tape which will conveniently be leaked to the public once the hits on my Simple Life recaps dwindles to 3).

    Go put your head in the oven right now and select yourself out of the species.

    Whatshisname (c’mon, you don’t care)

    crap-a-doodle-doo

    Greased Frightening

    I imagine some amount of chafing is involved, then am immediately horrified and must scrub imagination out thoroughly with bleach.

    Well, you won’t remember his name anyway, as you will only think of him a Heavily Accented Foreign Guy, because, you know, Americans love to laugh at foreigners, thus the smashing success of 80s sitcom “Perfect Strangers”—oh ho ho, Balki, you say the darndest things. [slaps knee] Anyway, Heavily Accented Foreign Guy will henceforth be referred to as Balki, and he tells them that a Toyota Camry is outside for an oil change. Or Latoya’s mammaries are lopsided and so strange—I’m not sure with this guy.

    That’s grand theft auto; what’s the next job for these girls, smuggling cocaine?

    Let’s hope she doesn’t find out what the normal life expectancy is for a Chihuahua.

    Now here’s the makings of a sex tape I don’t want to see.
    Auto Neurotica

    The immediate family. Not the family family. Not that there IS a family family. Heh heh.

    Lou is, contrary to what his hairstyle would like you to believe, not a Roy Orbison impersonator, but a Jujitsu instructor;

    “This is super-not-cool,” Claudia says, getting a new wrinkle on her catcher’s mitt face.

    Having failed in the mail room, they advance to executive assisting, which is exactly what it’s like in the real world of corporate business. When you have nice tits.

    Jujitsu, Jujitme, Say It Together, Naturally

    “I told ya, I don’t tink dere’s no such ting as a Mafia,” Lou answers, spoken exactly like a man who’s connected. But again, I’ve said too much. [looks around nervously]

    Waaah, I want my private helicopter, waaah!

    Drinking on the job, now that’s funny.

    Oh yeah that type of thing pays a lot—although, I don’t really want to talk about it, I was young needed the money.

    Snowy, your this was a riot! I find it hard to believe that the show was anywhere near as funny. I think I'll stick to your recaps. Bravo!
    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  4. #14
    What's The 411? Fanatic277's Avatar
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    The Snowy recaps are back, it feels like ages since you last posted one! Excellent and hilarious as always Snowy, so much better than the show.

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