Welcome to the recap for The Simple Life reunion special which aired before the final episode, for some odd reason. Like many of you, I found this hour to be particularly hard to watch – not because I had to see Nicole shove her hand in some cow over and over, but rather because it was terribly boring and a complete waste of time. So put on your seat belts and hold on tight, because we are going to speed through this!
The show starts with Leeza Gibbons introducing herself as host and welcoming the Leding Family into the barnyard decorated, fan filled studio in Fort Smith, Arkansas (a town near Altus). The first question out of her mouth is, “What were you thinking letting these girls live in your house?!!” My guess is that the Ledings were thinking about all the money the producers were throwing at them to house the socialites. Leeza goes through the group and asks them how they feel about the girls. Middle son, Cayne, says that they were really “annoying” but Justin says it was a whole lot better than having two ugly girls living there.
Leeza asks, “Hmm. I wonder where the girls are?” From side stage we hear the horn honk and in drive Paris and Nicole in what was formerly the hunkajunk blue truck, which is now painted pink. The girls get out with Tinkerbell in tow and greet the Ledings with hugs all around. With encouragement from Leeza, the audience gets up on their feet and greet the girls with the Arkansas Razorback pig suey call. It’s really quite odd and rather annoying.
Leeza asks the girls what their parents thought of the show. Nicole claims that daddy Lionel and her mom thought it was hysterical, while Paris says her parents were proud. Uh… ok. If my parents had seen me behaving the way those two girls did, they would think I was neither funny, nor worthy of their pride. In fact, they might be so inclined to disown me for my unfunny slutty ways. Er… I mean, if I had behaved like Nicole or Paris. Anyway! Moving right along.
Leeza turns her attention to little Braxton, the youngest of the Leding boys, and asks him to come sit by her. He gives her the thumbs up, plops down beside her and says how much he loved and missed Paris and Nicole. They claimed that Braxton was the brightest kid on earth. Further kudos came from Grandma Curly as she said she thought of the girls like granddaughters. Mom and Dad Leding just claimed that they liked the girls, but that it was tough to have them around in that they worried about them.
Next we get to meet some of the former employers of Paris’ and Nicole’s. Buffalo (“Buffy”) did his now famous, “Good Lord!” line. And the guy from the dairy farm ragged on them some more. The Sonic girls were the same annoying people that they had been on the show. We learn from the girls that they hated the dairy farm the worst and Paris liked Sonic the best. Nicole said one of the worst thing about the dairy farm was that for lunch, they finally get a break from the cows, but are served milk and cheeseburgers.
We find out that there were two other jobs that we didn’t get to see on the show. One was going out with a professional fisherman for the day – a job from which they were quickly fired when Nicole felt bad for the fish, so threw them back in the water. The second job was working for the day at a veterinary clinic. Paris basically passed out and was in a lump on the floor as Nicole castrated one of the animals (while accompanied by the vet). Buffy was the only employer to say that the girls were good for business. Word in town was the girls were hot and fun to be around, so lots of customers came to his shop to see them.
Now to the boys in Altus. Though it looked like Paris and Nicole were constantly sneaking out and breaking curfew, Paris claims that they were only late for their midnight curfew a couple of times. The girls say that the guys in Arkansas are a lot different than in LA (duh.) in that they were nice and sweet. Grandpa Richard admits to Leeza that if he had been A LOT younger, that he would have tried to date the girls and Daddy Albert admits that Nicole’s threesome comment about Justin would have been funny had it not been his son.
Next to be welcomed to the stage are Trae “Chops” and Anthony – the girls’ Arkansas boyfriends. Chops still has that stupid smile on his face. He says the girls are really “sweet” and that Paris is still hot. She thanks him. Anthony admits that Nicole was a good kisser, but when dared to kiss him again, she merely plants one on his cheek and claims it’s because she has a boyfriend.
We did get to see some outtakes from the show, like Paris’ and Nicole’s trip to Wal-Mart. They quickly became big fans of the store, stocking up on T-shirts, magazines and glitter to makeover the livestock. Another outtake was a fort built and painted camouflage by the girls for Braxton on his birthday. The last was Nicole swallowing a live minnow when dared by Buffy.
As the show comes to its end, Paris and Nicole leave the stage and drive back in a new 2004 Dodge Durango, a present to the Ledings for letting them stay in their home. It brings tears to most of the Leding’s eyes, as well as Nicole’s, and it actually seemed a sweet gesture. Besides, Albert will look a whole lot less lame in a blue SUV than in his girly pink pickup.
Tune in tonight (1/14/04) for The Simple Life season finale. Also, keep your eye open for a special “Lost Episode” of The Simple Life airing on Monday, January 26th at 8:30/7:30c.
This show is never going to end, is it? However, this recap is.